Going Nuclear. Stephen Hart
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got here a few days ago. It’s weird not knowing anyone. I guess I still miss being on campus.”
“I know what you mean. I graduated over a year ago and moved to Chicago and still can’t get used to being on my own. And the bar scene gets old after a while. Did you leave a girlfriend when you came over here?”
“No. I dated around, but I never connected with anyone that way.” Why did she ask that? Arthur wondered.
“It’s probably the times.”
“What do you mean?”
“People our age just don’t seem to be pairing up as young as they used to.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I think it’s because more kids are going to college, and when they’ve finished, they want to experience more of life before they settle down, especially the girls.”
“The girls?”
“Sure. We’re becoming more independent than we used to be. Many of us want to participate in political or social movements, and we want to have some fun while we’re at it. We don’t want it all to stop just because we graduated.”
“I can’t argue with that. Look, I haven’t been here long enough to know a good place to get a drink on Monday night, but if you’re not on a tight schedule, you could come over to my place. We could listen to some music, and you could tell me what you and Joshua did in SDS.”
“Okay!” Billie Lee replied, beaming. “Do you have any wine, by any chance?”
“We can pick some up on the way.”
An hour later, a Simon and Garfunkel album played softly in the background as Arthur and Billie Lee kissed passionately on the couch. As Billie Lee’s lips slid down his face and rested against his throat, Arthur asked gently, “Do you want to go into the other room?”
“Maybe,” she murmured. She pressed her mouth and body hard against his, pushing him backwards against the couch. When she came up for air a moment later, she purred, “Okay. How do we get there?”
“This way.” After disentangling himself from her and knocking over an empty wineglass in the process, he took her hand and led her into the bedroom. Without saying anything, Billie Lee sat down gracefully on the edge of his bed and began pulling off her boots, then her jeans. Arthur started to undress himself but paused to watch her. As she gently tossed her last piece of clothing, her bra, onto a chair, he continued to stare, mesmerized by her tan lines and long legs.
“Come on. You too,” she coaxed.
Under the covers, their naked bodies melted together and began to move. Arthur couldn’t believe that he was actually having sex with a girl this exciting, this perfect. An hour later, he lay quietly with Billie Lee, recalling every part of her incredible body. Her face rested on his chest. “That wasn’t bad,” Arthur said to the back of her head. “Not bad.”
“Not bad at all,” she agreed, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek.
“I hoped something like this would happen when I first saw you, but I didn’t believe it really would. It never does.”
“Come on. I’ll bet you’ve had your share of girls. It’s not that hard these days.”
“It’s hard to meet someone like you. I didn’t realize how lucky Joshua was.”
“I told you. Joshua and I never did anything like this.” She sounded mildly peeved. “He was very much in love with his girlfriend. She was from his home town and everything. But in a way, you remind me a little of him.”
“Really?”
“Not the way you look or anything. It’s something else. Probably the way you listen and talk—very analytical. It probably has something to do with being a research chemist.” She laughed gently.
“So how did you get to know Joshua?”
“Mostly SDS stuff,” Billie Lee replied, snuggling into his chest. “Organizing demonstrations, writing letters to senators and congressmen, things like that. He was very good at that stuff, and he could cut through the bullshit, too. I really miss that.”
“What kind of bullshit did he cut through?”
“Well, like SDS itself. He believed we weren’t getting anywhere because the government didn’t take us seriously. We may have annoyed them from time to time, but it was like they thought we were a sick joke. He said we needed to do something radical, something that would pose a real threat to the security of the country, so the government would have to listen to us for a change.”
“Like what?” Arthur asked earnestly.
“Different things, different things. Joshua thought we could threaten to put LSD in the drinking water of some major city, or make a nuclear bomb, or threaten to set off forest fires across the country—something that would really get through to them. He believed the only way we could force the Nixon administration to the peace table with us would be through drastic action here at home.”
“He did mention something like that to me once, but I couldn’t tell what he was getting at. I thought it might have just been talk. Of course, you knew him a lot better than I did.”
“Oh, he was radical, but he was quiet about it. And he was smart too, and he had nerve. That’s what I liked most about him, his nerve.”
“You have to wonder if that’s what got him killed.”
“I do.” Billie Lee nuzzled closer against Arthur. “Of course, an establishment guy like you probably supports the war.” She moved one of her thighs up and down against his.
“No,” Arthur answered, clearing his throat. “I think the war is stupid like everyone else. Actually, it’s probably easier for me to see that than most because my dad works at the Pentagon. He’s a colonel in the Army.”
“Really? Why would anyone want a job like that?”
“I don’t know. It probably has something to do with stability. It makes life a lot simpler for some people.”
“How’s that?”
“Well, in the Army you don’t have to worry about what you’re supposed to do or when you’re supposed to do it, because the Army tells you. The Army tells you what to wear, what to eat, where to live, and what your status in life is. In fact, they put a symbol of your status right on your uniform for you and everyone else to see.”
“So rank is everything.”
“Oh, yeah. And people like my dad really get into it.”
“Sounds like a bad scene.” Billie Lee shook her head.
“It was. My brother and I were always under pressure to get better grades in school and to do better in sports because our dad was an officer in the Army. We could never just be ourselves. It was kind of sick, if you think about it.”
“Maybe. But a lot of fathers want their sons to do well.”
“Yes, but it was like he couldn’t accept us for who we really were. We always had to prove we were winners. Of course, my brother seemed to thrive on that kind of life, the bastard. He was an all-conference linebacker in high school and graduated from college with an electrical engineering degree and a ROTC commission.”
“Sounds like you want a different kind of life for yourself.”
“I do. I want a life based on individualism, not conformity. I want to do the things that interest me, for me, not to prove I’m better than other people.”
“So you don’t care about rank or prestige.”
“Not rank for the sake of rank.”
“You just want to follow your heart.”