Junior Year, 93-94. Megan B. March
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as my sister-in-law!” Alicia said as she pulled me sideways and slightly out of my chair into a bear hug. “Congratulations!"
I looked at Jensen's parents. It was agonizing not knowing what they were thinking. Ashlyn and Dan looked at each other and then stood up together, making their way over to us.
"Wow, I don't know what to say," Ashlyn stammered. "You know I love you both and want nothing more than to have Mia as my daughter-in-law, but it's so soon. You know I don't want to be that mom, and I trust you've thought this over.” Jensen’s mother put her hand on my shoulder. “Mia, honey, you're still in high school and barely seventeen."
I gaped at Ashlyn, unsure of what to say. She thinks now is the best time to voice her concerns?
"What your Mom means is we're just concerned is all,” Dan interjected. “We love you both and trust your decision. We just want to make sure you're going to be OK."
"Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less," Jensen said, hugging his mom and then his dad. He moved closer to me.
"Wait, you're not pregnant, are you?" Jessica threw in, raising her eyebrows.
"Jessica!" Alicia yelled harshly.
"What? It's a good question. No one gets engaged when they're in high school."
Ashlyn suddenly looked at me worriedly.
"No! Of course I'm not pregnant!" I shot back, but I could tell his parents needed more reassuring. "We're responsible every time, and if you must know, I'm on the pill." Damnit, leave it to Jessica to go there.
As soon as it came out I wished I could claw it back. That was not the way I had wanted to confirm with his parents that we were being safe, and I certainly didn't want Jessica and Karl to know anything about our sex life. Not expecting this reaction at all, I blamed the heat of the moment. Catching Jensen's surprised look that I would have shared that in public, I gave him an apologizing look hoping he would understand.
"We know you two are responsible, honey; no one doubts that," Ashlyn whispered. "Jessica's question didn’t come at the best time, is all." She shot her daughter a look.
"I'm sorry,” I said to everyone at the table, “I didn't mean to share such personal stuff, but I was caught off-guard by such a direct question." My eyes moved to Jessica, whose gaze narrowed slightly as she gave off a fake smile. "And now that we all know I'm not pregnant,” I said, trying to lighten things up, “I think it's best if we plan a long engagement. Don't you agree, Jensen?"
Jensen briefly looked my way and then back at his parents. He deliberately ignored his sister. "Yes, that was my plan. We can't get married now with me starting freshman year at college and Mia still in high school.”
"Well, I'm sure it will go by really fast, and planning the wedding will be tons of fun! I'm so excited for you two!" Alicia said, hugging me again and trying her best to take the awkwardness out of the air. Besides us, she and Karl seemed to be the only ones excited.
"We'll have something at home to celebrate," Dan said, making his way back to his seat with Ashlyn.
As we waited for our food, Ashlyn asked to see the ring. I leaned over the table and extended my hand. She regarded it for some time. "Wow, it's beautiful. VS1 clarity and I can't see any flaws with my naked eye. I would love to get a jeweler's eye on this, though. Jensen, this probably set you back quite a bit. I hope you still have money left for college," she chastised lightly.
Jensen grinned. "First, I'm not about to share what it cost in front of my fiancée; second, I still have money to pay for college."
Ashlyn, still holding my hand, looked up at Jensen somewhat sternly for a second and then smiled. "It's really beautiful. Isn't it Alicia?" She turned her attention back to me.
"Yes, I'm jealous. I'm sure Jess is, too. Right, Jess?" Alicia asked.
Jessica's fake smile reappeared once more, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with all of the attention, whether good or bad. The food finally arrived and I was thankful that the attention was now on something else. As our server was placing the plates down in front of each of us, Jensen stole a moment to tell me he knew it would go OK.
"See, nothing to worry about. Are you OK?" he whispered.
I nodded and smiled. "Just a little uncomfortable is all. Let's talk about it later."
The rest of the meal was spent discussing Jensen leaving for school, which brought back my depressed feelings from earlier. Once dinner was over with and the whole charade had finally ended, Jensen took the wheel of my truck and drove us in the direction of his house. I played with my engagement ring, twirling it around my finger, while Jensen hummed along quietly to Aerosmith singing in the background about living on the edge. Something was wrong with the world, indeed.
"Jessica seemed pissed," I said once we were on the main road.
Jensen looked over briefly at me and then back at the road. "Yeah, she'll get over it. Are you OK?" He looked back at me and touched my cheek lightly with his fingers before returning his eyes to the road.
"Yeah, I'm just sorry I had that little outburst about our sex life. She really made me angry with her question. That was certainly not the way I wanted your parents to know we are being careful. And, I never would have confided in Jessica about that stuff,” I muttered angrily. “And I'm sure Karl wants nothing to do with that information, either." Jensen was smiling and not saying anything, which made me nervous. He finally chuckled and I was starting to get irritated. "What are you laughing about?" I demanded. We were at a stop light and he reached over and kissed my lips briefly before the light turned green.
"Karl will be OK, believe me.” Jensen laughed again. “He already knew you were on birth control, and I'm sure if he knows, Jess does, too. You know … the whole boyfriend-girlfriend code where you tell each other everything?"
What? "Did you tell him?" I asked in disbelief, not knowing why I was getting so upset all of a sudden.
"Well, he did ask. And … he is my best friend." Jensen looked embarrassed. "I'm sure you told Krissa?" I crossed my hands in front of my chest and raised an angry eyebrow at Jensen. Why was this pissing me off so much? Of course my friends knew. Shit, even Alicia knew.
"Not right away," I muttered under my breath. "And I doubt he told Jessica, otherwise she wouldn't have asked if I was pregnant."
"Maybe, sometimes Jess just likes to bring attention to shit that she shouldn't." Jensen looked intently at me. "Well, if it's any consolation, I think I saw my mom breathe a sigh of relief when you said we are responsible every time and that you’re on the pill. I could just see her having a coronary if she became a grandmother now." Jensen looked over at me with a half-smile for some kind of recognition that all would be OK, but he received only a sigh in return.
I stayed silent until we pulled into the driveway to his house and he killed the truck’s engine. Not moving the keys right away, Jensen turned toward me and asked, “Babe, what's going on? I know all this silence can't all be about tonight."
I sighed again, closing my eyes and trying to keep the tears from coming. He was right. I was an emotional wreck because he would be leaving in a few short days. I felt his hand on my cheek and opened my eyes, letting the tears escape. God, he must think I'm a baby.
"What? What's wrong? Are you having second thoughts?" he questioned, the panic evident in his eyes.
"No, nothing like that.” I shook my head at his silly worry. “I'm just having trouble with the fact you're leaving. I thought I was OK, but my emotions started up again at dinner when we were talking about it."
Jensen held my face in his hands and stared intently at me, wiping tears off my cheeks with his thumbs. His blue eyes were piercing. "Mia, I love you so much and I meant what I said tonight. I love you more than anything in this world. You are my everything. I know it will be hard, but you can think of our time apart as an extended vacation. You know we'll