Howard Barker: Plays Nine. Howard Barker

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Howard Barker: Plays Nine - Howard Barker


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The genius of the Emperor / and the genius of me / no wonder we were friends /

      BIBLE: (Crossly.) Sisi /

      WARDROBE: To invent such a refinement of his natural malice / which entertained me / I admit / so long as I was not the subject of it / is testament to a greatness of imagination / no less extraordinary than my own / or that of Mr Backus /

      BIBLE: Sisi /

      WARDROBE: (To THRASH.) (Crossly.) Go to bed with him / stroke him / suffocate him / anything /

      (He turns, he calls out.)

      SHE’S COMING / YES / COMING / SISI /

      (THRASH, in accordance with WARDROBE’s wishes, goes to the canvas bed.)

      I’m going mad / I’m going mad myself /

      THRASH: (Massaging BIBLE.) I said to burn it / didn’t I? /

      WARDROBE: Mad as he intended / and when I’m wholly / and completely mad / I’ll die /

      THRASH: Burn it / I said /

      WARDROBE: I say die / die as if I had a sickness / I do / I do have a sickness / but to be given sickness / knowing the consequence / is murder / I am being murdered /

      (He is aghast.)

      AND BACKUS IS THE EMPEROR’S ACCOMPLICE / YES / BACKUS COLLUDED IN MY MURDER / LET HIM KNOW /

      THRASH: I will /

      WARDROBE: LET HIM KNOW THIS /

      THRASH: If I meet him / I will /

      WARDROBE: Say Wardrobe knew /

      THRASH: Wardrobe knew /

      WARDROBE: I’m not asking for him to confess / his excuses / guilty conscience / and the rest / I don’t require the poorest / flimsiest apology / but say I knew his greatest work / he will never do a better / will he? / was the death of me / will you do that? /

      THRASH: I will do / yes /

      WARDROBE: Thank you / thank you /

      THRASH: If I see him /

      WARDROBE: You will see him /

      THRASH: Will I? /

      WARDROBE: You will see him / yes /

      (THRASH looks at WARDROBE, even as she nurses BIBLE.)

      Froben / Anda / having composed a tribute to the frontier / will / sooner or later / be required to visit it /

      (He looks at THRASH.)

      I say visit / you know what I mean /

      (THRASH frets for WARDROBE.)

      The Captain’s wrong / to compare the Emperor to the wind / the wind is cruel / but could we say the wind has wit? / I don’t think so /

      THRASH: (Out of compassion.) Say that thing you say / that bad thing about your mother / Wardrobe / those words which / no matter how often you say them / still make you shudder /

      (WARDROBE looks at the OLD WOMAN.)

      SHOUT IT /

      WARDROBE: (Declining her invitation.) You don’t say live /

      THRASH: (Rebuked.) I don’t / no / only I thought / it’s a long time since I heard /

      WARDROBE: Frig? /

      THRASH: That’s it /

      WARDROBE: (Supremely indifferent now.) I can say frig /

      (He shrugs.)

      Frig / frig /

      THRASH: Like you used to / like it filled you with / oh /

      WARDROBE: Mrs Thrash / you don’t say live /

      (THRASH is uncomfortable.)

      THRASH: Not normally /

      WARDROBE: Never / never /

      (She hangs her head, as if repentant.)

      You love me /

      THRASH: You know I do /

      WARDROBE: Yes / but still / this / this solicitude / for my health and happiness / it’s /

      (He is frustrated.)

      THRASH / YOU DON’T SAY LIVE /

      (Rebuked, THRASH bites her lip. WARDROBE observes the tentative entrance of the SOLDIER. He creates a sinister, conspiratorial posture, as if imparting a secret.)

      No / violin /

      (He mimes tragedy.)

      No bow / no bridge / and not a single string /

      SOLDIER: I’m not here for my lesson / Mr Wardrobe /

      (He moistens his lips.)

      I came to say / how sorry we are / Mr Bible is /

      (He cannot utter.)

      WARDROBE: Dying /

      SOLDIER: (Shocked.) Is he? /

      (WARDROBE studies the SOLDIER, who pulls at his hands.)

      All of us / we / even if we didn’t understand it / we liked his poetry /

      WARDROBE: Tell him /

      SOLDIER: Tell him? /

      WARDROBE: Yes / tell him / not me /

      (The SOLDIER chews his tongue in his anxiety, then with a determined toss of his head, goes to advance on the canvas bed.)

      It would be much worse /

      (The SOLDIER stops.)

      Wouldn’t it? / much worse if it was me? /

      (The SOLDIER is embarrassed, then he continues his advance on the stricken BIBLE. THRASH makes way for him. The SOLDIER stares at BIBLE, lost for words. The wind blows. At last he finds his voice, but WARDROBE is quicker.)

      Nothing is arbitrary / neither here nor anywhere / not a single thing / take the bed / the sordid / steeped-in-toss-and-vomit / caricature of comfort / which officially we share / but which / because of his condition / Bible occupies exclusively / and is / therefore / not available to me / this bed /

      THRASH: Shh /

      WARDROBE: Wasted on him / now / obviously /

      THRASH: Shh /

      WARDROBE: Might serve / however clammy with disease / to save me / but no / I lie on the floor / in damp / in draughts / thereby ensuring /

      (He is bathed in euphoria.)

      OH / AND THIS HE KNEW / PROVIDING US WITH ONE BED BETWEEN TWO /

      (He shakes his head in wonder.)

      Bible’s death would guarantee my own /

      (He casts a glance at the unhappy SOLDIER.)

      Or vice-versa / probably he doesn’t mind who follows who /

      (He frowns.)

      Knowing this / isn’t it obvious / what I should do? /

      (THRASH has a horrible premonition.)

      If only /

      THRASH: Wardrobe /

      WARDROBE: If only to frustrate the complacent / and surely / sentimental / attitude to human behaviour /

      THRASH: Wardrobe /

      WARDROBE: Embedded in the Emperor’s /

      THRASH: You mustn’t / Wardrobe /

      WARDROBE: Sense of comedy /

      (He goes towards the bed.)

      THRASH: YOU MUSTN’T TIP POOR BIBLE ON THE FLOOR / I WON’T LET YOU /

      (The SOLDIER, shocked at the revelation of WARDROBE’s intention, takes


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