A Silent Love. Susan Wright
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on the train, trying not to spill their tea. Some time later when daylight had given way to the night shadows, Allison drifted off to sleep. Jessie leaned over and brushed a feather-like kiss on her brow. She now had the enormous responsibility, of looking after her handicapped daughter. She determined that she would do everything within her power to make her happy.
It was now nearly midnight and she was still awake. It had been such an eventful day. Although very tired, sleep continued to evade her. She wished that she had thought of bringing something to read. Taking out the envelope that Fred had given her, earlier in the day she decided to read what he had written for her benefit. Now as she studied the envelope she realised that it was quite thick. In the dim light of the train she opened it and took out the contents. Encased in a single sheet of writing paper was five hundred pounds. Jessie let out such a gasp that, she immediately clasped her hand over mouth to stop any further noise. It was then she realised why he had not wanted her to open the envelope until later. Choking with emotion, she put the money and the letter back into the envelope. ‘Thank you Fred,’ she said quietly. She vowed that at some stage later, she would repay him every penny. She cried silent tears into her pillow, before finally drifting off to sleep.
The next thing she knew Allison was shaking her awake. The Guard was making his rounds checking everyone’s tickets. Only half awake she fumbled in her bag before producing the tickets.
‘Good morning to you both. And a lovely morning it is. We will be arriving in Christchurch in less than an hour. Breakfast is being served in the cafeteria.’ He punched their tickets. He carried on down the carriage bidding everyone a good morning, and informing them about the arrival time and breakfast arrangements. He spoke in such a loud voice, that right from his very first passenger everyone had heard.
They sat in the cafeteria and surveyed the breakfast set before them. Bacon, eggs, kidneys and tomatoes, toast and marmalade and a huge pot of tea. They were both ravenous and ate with relish the huge breakfast. Later after making a few inquiries they found their way to the bus terminal. After living a lifetime on the farm and never going anywhere, they were both understandably feeling travel weary. However there was only one leg of the journey ahead of them. During their ride on the bus Jessie explained to Allison about the cottage that Fred had so generously given them to use. She became quite emotional when she told her about the money that he had put in the envelope. Allison looked at her mother in wonderment. Five hundred pounds was almost more money than she could comprehend. ‘What will we do with all that money?’
‘I am not going to spend it unless it becomes absolutely essential. I am going to deposit it in the bank. In time when we become established I plan to return the money to Fred, after all he is an old man. I am sure that one day he will want to retire.’
‘How are we going to earn money? I can’t to leave school and find a job for at least two years.”
‘You are not leaving school when you are fifteen as your brother has done. I want you to have a proper education. Just you leave the matter of earning money to me.’ Jessie had spoken so sternly to Allison that she acknowledged her mother’s authority by not arguing. Instead she leaned back in her seat and enjoyed the constantly changing scenery.
An elderly woman sitting in a seat opposite had watched the mother and daughter converse in sign language, and thought it a shame that such an attractive young woman, should have such a handicap. ‘Has your daughter always been deaf?’ She politely asked. Jessie did not immediately recognise that the woman had spoken to her. In her troubled mind she was considering whether she had been right to leave the relative security of her home. Even as a mother she felt like a failure, going off and leaving her son without any regrets. Then the mental picture of Steven sniggering at her, as she recoiled from Paul’s fist convinced her she had been right. Neither of them was worth worrying about. She became aware that someone had spoken to her. ‘I am sorry, did you speak to me?’
‘I asked if your daughter had always been deaf.’
‘Yes, she has.’
‘I think it is amazing, that you can converse apparently so fluently with your hands.’
‘It was not always so easy. It took a lot of patience in the beginning.’
‘I am sure it did. Are you travelling far?’
‘To Nelson.’
‘Really. I am as well. I holiday there with my sister every year.’
‘That’s nice.’
‘Are you going on holiday?’
The conversation was taking a turn that Jessie was not entirely happy with. She knew that the elderly woman was only being polite. Yet she asked more questions than Jessie had answers for at this point. ‘Not exactly, we have been given the use of a cottage and we plan to stay for a while.’
The elderly woman could tell by Jessie’s tone, that she did not wish to impart any further information. Not being one to pry, she took out her knitting and settled back in her seat. Later she was to tell her sister, that she thought that the young woman on the bus had run away from something or somebody. Pleased that the woman was no longing asking questions Jessie closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. She closed her eyes but her mind was reeling with what had taken place over the last few hours. Her constant anxiety was that Paul may somehow find out where they had gone. Even if he did, she was not going back. For better or for worse, she had chosen her course in life. Her main priority now, was to take care of Allison. If necessary she would seek the services of a lawyer and get a divorce. Right now though, she just wanted their journey to come to an end. The novelty of viewing the new countryside had worn thin, and every mile seemed interminable. Even though her eyes were tight shut, she knew with a certainty that the woman across the aisle was watching them both. She felt grubby and hungry and very tired. They had eaten the last of the sandwiches that Fred had made for them. In a funny way it had made her feel sad as, if by eating the sandwiches they had cut the last thread with their earlier life. The thought uppermost in her mind was of entering the cottage, shutting the door and being alone away from prying eyes.
She must have dozed off as she woke with a start by the gentle shaking of the elderly woman. ‘What’s the matter?’ She asked anxiously.
‘Nothing is the matter.’ She kindly assured her. ‘We have finally arrived.’
‘Oh, thank you, I must have dosed off.’ Jessie wearily rubbed her eyes.
‘You have been sound asleep for the past hour. Would you like some help.’
‘No, thank you all the same. We will manage.’ Jessie shook Allison awake. ‘Come on sleepy head we have arrived,’ she signed.
Once she stood up, Jessie realised just how stiff she had become. Five minutes later they were standing on the side of the street, with their luggage at their feet. Jessie reached into her bag to find the address of the cottage. On the bus all she had wanted was for the journey to end and now that it had she realised, she now had another problem. How was she going to get to the cottage? For all she knew it could be miles away. Every bone in her body was crying out with weariness. Allison was also looking pale and tired. She looked anxiously at her mother wondering what they were going to do now.
‘Have you got far to go?’
Jessie looked up to see who had spoken. It was the woman from the bus. ‘I don’t honestly know? This is the address but I have no idea where to find it.’
‘Let me have a look,’ she said as she took hold of the paper. Jessie felt irritated by the officious manner of the woman. However she was so exhausted she said nothing.
‘Well,….well, that is on the road out-of-town by the sea-side. Now you two wait there. I will ask my sister to give you a ride, after all we are going that way.’ Jessie opened her mouth to say something but the woman quickly butted in. ‘I know it’s none of my business and you probably think I am a nosy old biddy, but I do think that you are both done in. One of the few perks of old age, is you can tell people what to do and not worry what they say.’
Jessie smiled gratefully at the woman,