The Waitress of Life. Victoria Morris
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wood in my other jacket… maybe you could try something radical and ask the waitress??
Mature Woman: Can you do something about the temperature? How is a person supposed to think in this horrible cold?
Waitress: I’ll see what I can do. Do you have any questions about the menu?
Mature Woman: I have looked everywhere and there is no eternal life.
Waitress: Eternal Life isn’t available a’la carte. You can only get it as part of some of the specials.
Mature Woman: Why so I have to go through all the hassle of a special when all I want is eternal life?
Waitress: Sorry I don’t make the rules, you’ll have to speak with the chef about that. Baptist is very popular.
Mature Woman: Too evangelical.
Mature Man: Protestant?
Mature woman: With your work ethic?
Mature man: My work ethic? I have been supporting you for the past 50 years- when have you ever raised a finger?
Mature woman: I seem to recall a time not too long ago where I did all the cooking and cleaning.
Mature man: I had had a heart attack, and you had a maid and a cook – all you had to do was ask others to do the actual work.
Mature Woman: I am just saying…
Mature Man: How about Jewish? You have the whole guilt thing down.
Mature Woman: Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a kosher kitchen?
Mature Man: I think I would be making the greatest sacrifice if we went Jewish. (makes scissor hand motion)
Mature Woman: Yes, that would be a SMALLL sacrifice you would have to make. But I’m not prepared to live in a world without Bacon Double Cheese burgers!
Waitress: Why don’t I give you a minute
Everyone starts talking loudly over each other lights go out and silence. Lights up on the band – all holding menus.
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