you must need back story

      my name is francesca alliene petrino

      my soul has longed

      for love and music

      and all

      that i receive

      is heartbreak and silence

      it stings like a thousand needles

      through my skin

      as your name

      exits my lips

      -the memory of you is worse than any shot

      and all of the sudden

      i feel really really small

      and i hear lots of sounds

      and im drowning

      in the deep sea

      of my surroundings

      i have had this feeling

      since i was so little

      -i must not be the only one

      this is my biggest risk

      you are holding me

      who i am

      everything i have felt

      i risk the ways you will interpret me

      criticize and assume my past

      which is stained into these very pages

      you are holding me

      take care of me

      -or close the damn book

      even after months

      i can still feel you pulling me closer

      and playing with my hair

      as you laugh and tell me

      how deeply in love you are

      -they lied

      when they said

      i would eventually forget

      my mother told me i was unhappy

      and i begged myself not to let go

      holding onto the days

      i used to gush to her

      about your kind heart

      and then i cried to her

      as the same heart

      kicked me to the curb

      i miss you

      not at night

      as i look at the stars

      or when i am lonely

      but in the middle of the day

      when my mind grows tired

      and i forget

      that i am working

      on never thinking of you again

      the less you think of him

      the more you will forget

      -i keep telling myself

      i dont remember

      but then all of a sudden

      someone reminds me of you

      and i realize i still know all those poems

      like the back of my hand

      so many girls

      have wondered too often

      what they do so wrong

      to deserve a boy

      leaving them with a dying garden

      and no rain clouds

      you need to love someone new

      to show me

      that there is no guilt

      in starting over

      -you go first

      weeping willow tree

      where shall i be

      laying beneath

      the cradle of your leaves

      protected from all

      with your love

      weeping willow tree

      where shall i be

      -i miss the willow tree

      that used to live

      down the street

      i am sorry to say

      that sometimes it is the ones who are closest

      who end up hurting us the most

      by never being as close

      as we think they are

      -our illusions

      of who we think they are

      kills us

      you do not know

      what you are looking for

      why come to me

      and chase me

      when you dont

      even know who you are

      -please just leave me on my own

      i say to her

      tell me why you love him

      she was quiet

      and then she told me

      i do not love him

      -darling

      he cannot be

      who you keep asking him to be

      if at any point

      you find yourself apologizing

      for pulling away from him

      please just leave him behind

      -it is not your fault

      you did not do

      what you didnt want to do

      who is it

      that causes your nightmares

      is it the same person

      whom you greet every morning

      -let go

      you have no right to insult me

      when you have no idea

      who i am

      or what i have been through

      -my new self knows

      that i should have left sooner

      you lied to me

      you knew the lyrics to my songs

      and the name of this book

      before anyone else

      and all you did was lie

      as i gave you every special piece of me

      -as you read this book

      know the reason i succeeded

      was because you broke me

      and