Naughty Little Secrets. Mary Wilbon
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was a rustling in the shrubbery.
“Hello. May I help you?” she called out.
Gradually a little man stepped into view.
“I’m here to see Slick,” he called back eventually.
“She’s a little busy right now. I’m Laura Charles. I’m sure Slick wouldn’t mind if you talked to me. You must be cold out there and I’m tired of shouting. Please come in.”
He looked around to make sure no one was watching. He climbed the steps, wiped his feet and stepped inside.
Evelyn stood by and watched him closely. He was short and sturdy and he looked confused and uncomfortable. He removed his hat.
Laura smiled and tried to put him at ease.
“How may I help you, Mr…?”
“McDonough,” said the little man. “Snatch McDonough.”
“Pleased to meet you, Mr. McDonough,” said Laura, extending her hand.
He wiped his hand on his faded brown coat, then shook hers. He let out a low whistle.
“This is some house,” he said, looking around at the tapestries, the Greek vases, and the hand-carved ceiling.
Snatch was not an educated man, but he knew money when he smelled it. This place was marinating in it.
“Thank you.” Laura smiled and patiently waited for him to continue.
“I got this invitation. There was a note inside from Slick.” He pulled an invitation from his pocket. “I just wanted to stop by and say hello and thanks.”
“Did you work with Slick?” asked Laura
“Oh, no ma’am,” he answered. “She arrested me. I just got out three weeks ago. Twelve years, grand larceny. Slick was the only one to ever catch me. She promised me that if I cleaned up my act, she’d help me get a job. She kept her word. For that I am grateful every day. I just wanted to let her know that I’m workin’ at Wal-Mart now and I’m doin’ alright. She’s a real nice woman, Slick is.”
“Yes she is.”
Snatch didn’t know what to say next. He rocked back and forth on his heels and fiddled with his hat.
“Well, okay, then. Just tell her I stopped by. I’ll be on my way now. Good night. Merry Christmas.”
He put his hat on and turned to leave.
“Please stay, Mr. McDonough,” Laura said. “You were invited, so you’re welcome here.”
“I don’t think I’m dressed for it,” he said, looking her up and down in her mermaid costume.
He’d been in jail a long time, he thought. The civilians sure were dressing funny these days.
“I didn’t know this was such a fancy place. I haven’t been around nice people in a long time. Well, to be honest, I ain’t really ever been around nice people, unless I was robbin’ ’em. I used to be a thief, ya know. I done my time, but the cops still pick me up now and again for questionin’ when somethin’ goes stolen.
“I know Slick hears stuff about me, but I wanted her to know I’m clean. I ain’t lifted nothin’ since I got out. I ain’t even gotten a parkin’ ticket, I swear.”
Then Snatch raised his hand as if he were taking a solemn oath. It was a promise, strong and sincere.
“Well, I better go now, I wouldn’t want to embarrass Slick or you by being here.”
“Please stay,” Laura said. Snatch had stolen her heart. “I know Slick would want to see you.”
“Well…okay, Miss Charles, if you say so.”
“Laura. Call me Laura, please.”
“Call me ‘Snatch,’ or ‘Snatch Mc D,’ or ‘Snatchmo.’ You know, short for Snatch McDonough.”
“Please forgive my bluntness, but if you’re trying to distance yourself from your former life as a thief, maybe you should consider dropping your nickname,” suggested Laura. “That might make your life a little easier. What’s your first name, Mr. McDonough?”
“Adolf,” he replied quietly, thoroughly embarrassed.
“Snatch’ it is,” said Laura quickly.
She tried to turn to lead Snatch back to the Assembly Hall, but her tail made it difficult to rotate.
“Snatch, I know you don’t know me. We’ve just met, but would you please give me a hand? I could use all the help I can get.” Laura didn’t want to fall ungracefully on her backside in front of a friend of Slick’s she was meeting for the first time.
Snatch handed his hat and coat to Evelyn, then grabbed hold of Laura’s waist and started steering her back to the party.
He glanced again at all the tapestries and oil paintings that adorned the hall. He marveled at the exquisite taste of everything, the arrangement, the perfect matching of forms and colors. He knew that the artworks were originals, and momentarily wondered what he could get for them on the street.
Snatch took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and repeated to himself, “I am not a crook. I am not a crook.”
As they were about to enter the party, Snatch suddenly stopped.
“I’m sorry, Miss Charles. I don’t think I can do this. I’d be wonderin’ all night if you and Slick felt like you could trust me here with all your fine things.”
“Let me show you something, Snatch,” said Laura. “Look over there. See Abe Lincoln over there? Do you know who that is?”
Snatch looked closely. Slowly he made recognition. His eyes widened. “Oh my God!” he gasped. “Is that who I think it is?”
“Yes, it is,” said Laura. “The junior senator from New York, the former First Lady. She and her husband were accused of all kinds of mischief. If I can be comfortable with them here, I can certainly be comfortable with you.”
Snatch straightened his tie, smoothed down his hair, and felt more relaxed. “I ain’t got a costume,” he said shyly.
“No one will notice.”
“You got a lot of nice stuff here, Miss Char…Laura. I’ll make sure no one cops any of it and then says it was a gift. Know what I mean?” he said protectively.
“Thank you, Snatch.”
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