Ready. Lucy Monroe
Читать онлайн книгу.
Joshua crossed his arms over his chest and stretched his long legs out in front of him. “What exactly is your problem with me being Lise’s bodyguard?”
“You want her.”
“No, he doesn’t—”
Joshua shocked her by interrupting her hasty denial. “If I do, what’s it to you? She’s well past the age of consent, not to mention having been married before.”
“You said you don’t do sex on a job,” she reminded Joshua, her heart thumping in her chest at an alarming rate.
Before Joshua could answer, Jake was saying, “Damn it, you can’t deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at her—it’s like a hungry wolf ready to devour its next meal.”
Lise had felt like that meal once, and it was not a memory she was comfortable with. “Joshua and I are not involved.”
“And if they get involved it won’t be any of your business, Jake Barton.” Bella’s tone left no doubt she thought her husband was being unreasonable.
“She’s my little sister. How can you say that?”
“She’s also a twenty-eight-year-old woman. Get a grip.”
“This is ridiculous.” Lise couldn’t believe how off-target the conversation had gotten. “Joshua is helping me, not threatening me with bodily mayhem. I’m grateful and you should be, too, Jake, because if Joshua hadn’t offered to help, I would have disappeared rather than put you and your family at risk.”
The next afternoon, Joshua went looking for Lise.
She’d disappeared after lunch and he didn’t like the idea of her being alone, even on the ranch.
She’d been quiet all morning, even playing with Genevieve in a subdued way. She’d avoided him as much as possible and he wanted to know why.
He found her standing on the edge of the small pond, her stillness so complete, she seemed a part of the land.
He stopped a few feet behind her.
“I used to come here when I was a little girl and life seemed unfair.”
Her awareness of his presence startled him. His quiet approach had surprised trained soldiers.
He shifted to stand beside her. “Did it help?”
“Sometimes.”
“You’ve been avoiding me all morning.” He looked sideways at her, but could read nothing in her still profile.
“Jake thinks you want me.”
“I do.”
She turned toward him and the deeply troubled expression in her eyes tugged at him, but he could not reassure her to the contrary.
“I’m not interested in a relationship, Joshua.”
“You made that clear the night of Genevieve’s christening.”
He hadn’t been thinking about a relationship then, either. He’d been thinking about sex—hot and consuming, but temporary.
“I thought I did.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Why did you come to my apartment in Seattle?”
“Because Bella wanted you here for Thanksgiving.”
“I see.” Lise’s tense stance relaxed a little. “She asked you to come and fetch me.”
“No, Bella didn’t ask me to come.”
Lise was back to looking worried.
“I thought you were trying to avoid me because of what happened between us last year. I came to apologize and bring you to Texas with me.”
“You were going to apologize?” She sounded shocked by the possibility.
“Yes.”
She crossed her arms around her waist, hugging herself. “You don’t have anything to say you’re sorry for. You didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to.”
He hadn’t forced her, but he had frightened her. “Hell, Lise, you ran off without saying good night to anyone else and didn’t come back to the ranch in the three days before I left.”
“I got busy.” She was a lousy liar.
“Right.”
He’d made a huge tactical error in letting Bella talk him into coming early for his niece’s christening. He hadn’t had enough downtime to get his more primitive reactions under control after the last job. Coupled with the fact that he hadn’t had sex in way too long, he’d been an explosion waiting to happen.
His desire for Lise Barton had tipped him over the edge.
“I got too intense, too fast, and it scared you. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t scare me.” She put up her hand when he would have accused her of lying again. “You didn’t. The kiss was incredible. Your passion overwhelmed me, but it didn’t frighten me.” She sighed, looking both emotionally defenseless and a little disgruntled. “My reaction to it did.”
He hadn’t expected that response. At all. He’d spent months feeling guilty because he’d sent her running and she was telling him her own reaction had done that. “Why?”
“A woman could lose herself in feelings as strong as the ones you brought out in me.”
“And you’re afraid of losing yourself?”
“Yes.” Clear hazel eyes hid nothing.
“Is that what happened in your marriage?”
“Not totally, but I lost enough of myself that when our mutual identity disintegrated, figuring out who I was on my own took a lot longer than I wanted it to.”
“You think going to bed with me could do that to you?”
“I think the emotions that would accompany making love to you could destroy me.”
Such honesty from a woman stunned him. However, he didn’t agree. “Sex does not have to be soul-destroying.”
Only the emotion of love could do that, and she didn’t have a thing to worry about on that score. No way was she going to fall in love with a badass mercenary, and she didn’t have to worry about him getting moon-faced. He’d learned a long time ago that he didn’t do that love thing.
She turned back to face the pond as if he’d never spoken. Pulling her light jacket close around her, she stood silent for so long, he thought she wasn’t going to say anything else. Then she started to talk.
“I married my best friend when I was eighteen years old. I would have done anything to get out of my father’s house, and when Mike asked me to marry him the night of our senior prom, I jumped at the chance.”
“What happened?”
“Life.” She laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “We didn’t have a passionate marriage. I guess you could say we just weren’t compatible in bed, but he was still my best friend and I trusted him completely. He encouraged me to pursue my writing, believed in me when I lost faith in myself, but friendship wasn’t enough. Or at least it wasn’t for him.”
“He wanted the passion.” What she was saying shocked him because Lise had been like living fire in his arms the one time they’d kissed.
“Yes, and when he found it with someone else, he asked for a divorce.”
“He had an affair?”
“No. Mike is too honest for that, but he fell in love. We loved each other, but this was different, or so he told me.”
“You still loved him.”
“Yes, and I trusted him. When my