Finding Julia. Desiree Holt
Читать онлайн книгу.
her, “and I didn’t want to ask you about it.”
“Don’t. Let’s not spoil this.”
“Your husband—”
“Is a pen stroke away from being an ex. And no one I want to bring into this conversation.” She nibbled on her lower lip, a nervous gesture she’d picked up in recent years. It suddenly occurred to her Luke hadn’t addressed his own matrimonial status. “I didn’t even think to ask if you’re—”
He shook his head. “This is a discussion meant for another time, and I didn’t want to ruin what’s happening here by going into the sordid details.”
“Please don’t—”
He touched a finger to her lips. “I’ve been divorced for two years. It wasn’t pleasant and neither was the marriage. Enough said. For now.”
He kissed her, long and slow, his tongue slipping into her mouth and teasing hers to dance with him. Then reluctantly, Julia pulled herself out of bed. She stopped, self-conscious in her nudity with Luke’s eyes on her, and he laughed.
“I find it delightfully appealing you can still be shy with me after everything we did.” He yanked the top sheet from the bed and wound it around her, brushing her breasts and her hips lightly as he wound the fabric like a sheath. “Go take your shower, then I will. I’d suggest we do it together, but you might never catch your plane.”
Heat bloomed on her cheeks as memories of the previous night flooded her brain. “Okay.”
When she was showered and dressed, she waved toward the bathroom. “Your turn. Shall I order us some breakfast?”
“Please. I think I could eat a horse.”
Julia giggled, a sound nervous even to her own ears. “If they don’t have any horses, will bacon and eggs do?”
“Sure.”
She grinned at him as she closed the bathroom door.
Once she was dressed and packed, she again felt unsure how to act. Was she supposed to thank him for the most stupendous night of her life? Doing so seemed both stupid and inadequate. Should she apologize for being so wanton? No, that didn’t seem quite right either. She was caught between wanting his approval of her as a woman and not earning his disapproval of her where their business was concerned.
While she waffled about it in her whirlpool of insecurity, breakfast arrived. She busied herself setting it up on the little table by the window. When Luke came out of the bathroom in slacks and shirt, he walked over to her and gave her a slow good morning kiss. And when he held her chair out for her to sit down, he brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her neck, then nipped the lobe of her ear. Sitting across from her, he studied her as she buttered her toast and took a small bite.
“You look like heavy thoughts are weighing you down.” He paused. “Any regrets?”
Was he nervous, too?
Julia smiled tentatively, memories clanging around in her brain, and again she felt her cheeks heat. “How could there be?”
“Will you be okay when you get home?” he asked her. “I sense you have an unpleasant situation waiting for you.”
“Yes. I’ll get through Thanksgiving one way or another. Then I’ll make sure my attorney gets Charles to sign the final papers so they can be filed…at last.” She sighed. “I always feel I’m walking on egg shells around him.”
“Why does he continue to create a problem for you? He’s already accepted the divorce, right?”
Julia shrugged. “I’m not sure he’ll ever truly accept it. Not because he loves me, but because he hates to lose. I have an excellent attorney, and he’s gotten me an excellent settlement. I had a very—unsettled—childhood and I’m determined my children won’t have to go through what I did. I want security for them. And I don’t want to uproot them from the only home they’ve known.”
He studied her face, a question in his eyes.
“Someday I’ll tell you about the drama I lived with and the uncertainty. Not now. But I don’t want my children to suffer the way I did. Charles will look for any little thing to refuse to sign the final papers and find a way to destroy the agreement in place. My attorney won’t let that happen.”
Luke reached across the table and put his large hand over her small one. “Be careful, Julia. From what you tell me, one wrong move could put you in an untenable position.”
He did his best to put her at ease, drinking coffee, chatting as if they’d done this forever. The intensity of last night’s lovemaking still clung to her, reaching out to her like a powerful drug. She wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and spend the entire holiday weekend wrapped in his arms, offering him her body, giving and taking pleasure, shutting out the rest of the world. Whatever emotion gripped her last night still clung to her.
She stared down into her coffee cup, her mind whirling. Something nibbled at her, a question she was sure would come out wrong no matter how she phrased it.
“Do you do this often?” she blurted out, then felt the heat creeping up into her cheeks. What an absolutely stupid thing to say. She ducked her head, wishing she could dive under the table. “I’m sorry for saying something so inappropriate, not to mention rude.”
“Do what?”
“Nothing.” She couldn’t look at him. “Forget it.”
“Julia.” He touched her hand. “You can ask me anything you want. So, do I do what often?”
“Go to bed with a woman the first time you meet her,” she mumbled the words into her lap.
His fingers idly stroked across hers. “We didn’t go to bed, Julia. We made love. There’s a big difference. But if it’s important to you, I haven’t done either one for a long time.” He lifted his coffee cup, watching her over the rim as he drank.
She lowered her eyes. “I can’t believe women would leave a man like you alone for long.”
“Like me?” He laughed. “Horny? Rich? Sexy? What?”
She felt herself blush again. “I should learn to keep my mouth shut. All I do is keep making things worse. It’s… I look at you and…”
“It’s fine.” His tone softened. He put his coffee cup down, reached across the table, and took one of her hands in both of his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you. It’s a…touchy subject for me.”
“I’m sorry I brought it up.” She looked down at her empty plate, unable to meet his gaze. She didn’t want to see the coldness she was afraid would be there.
“Julia.” He got up and came around to her chair, lifting her to her feet. Placing a finger beneath her chin, he tipped her face up to his. His mouth brushed against hers, a light touch at first, then deeper…but not passionate. This was affectionate, reassuring. He threaded his fingers through her hair and gave her lips a light flick with his tongue before lifting his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It was a perfectly normal question. It reminds me of words my ex-wife threw at me, and not in a good way. So I try to make a joke of it.”
“Forget I said anything.” She chewed at her lip again. “Please. I don’t want to spoil this morning.”
He kissed her again. “I’m probably sensitive about it because of…history. And for now I’m not saying any more. But don’t beat yourself up. You couldn’t spoil anything if you tried.”
They ate silently for a moment, and then Julia told him in a quiet voice, “I don’t, either.” Luke looked at her questioningly. “Fall into bed with someone I’ve just met.”
He reached across the table and wrapped her small hand in his larger one. “If I thought you did, it wouldn’t be my bed you’d fall into, and we wouldn’t