Paddington Complete Novels. Michael Bond
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examined Paddington’s ticket. “What’s all this? You haven’t been anywhere yet.”
“I know,” said Paddington, unhappily. “I think I must have made a mistake at the bottom.”
The man sniffed suspiciously and called across to an inspector. “There’s a young bear ’ere, smelling of bacon. Says he made a mistake at the bottom.”
The inspector put his thumbs under his waistcoat. “Escalators is for the benefit and convenience of passengers,” he said sternly. “Not for the likes of young bears to play on. Especially in the rush hour.”
“Yes, sir,” said Paddington, raising his hat. “But we don’t have esca… esca…”
“… lators,” said the inspector, helpfully.
“… lators,” said Paddington, “in Darkest Peru. I’ve never been on one before, so it’s rather difficult.”
“Darkest Peru?” said the inspector, looking most impressed. “Oh, well in that case” – he lifted up the chain which divided the ‘up’ and ‘down’ escalators – “you’d better get back down. But don’t let me catch you up to any tricks again.”
“Thank you very much,” said Paddington gratefully, as he ducked under the chain. “It’s very kind of you, I’m sure.” He turned to wave goodbye, but before he could raise his hat he found himself being whisked into the depths of the Underground again.
Half-way down he was gazing with interest at the brightly coloured posters on the wall when the man standing behind poked him with his umbrella. “There’s someone calling you,” he said.
Paddington looked round and was just in time to see Mrs Brown and Judy pass by on their way up. They waved frantically at him and Mrs Brown called out “Stop!” several times.
Paddington turned and tried to run up the escalator, but it was going very fast, and with his short legs it was as much as he could do even to stand still. He had his head down and he didn’t notice a fat man with a briefcase who was running in the opposite direction until it was too late.
There was a roar of rage from the fat man and he toppled over and grabbed at several other people. Then Paddington felt himself falling. He went bump, bump, bump all the way down before he shot off the end and finally skidded to a stop by the wall.
When he looked round everything seemed very confused. A number of people were gathered round the fat man, who was sitting on the floor rubbing his head. Away in the distance he could see Mrs Brown and Judy trying to push their way down the ‘up’ escalator. It was while he was watching their efforts that he saw another notice. It was in a brass case at the bottom of the escalator and it said, in big red letters: TO STOP THE ESCALATOR IN CASES OF EMERGENCY PUSH THE BUTTON.
It also said in much smaller letters, ‘Penalty for Improper Use – £50’. But in his hurry Paddington did not notice this. In any case it seemed to him very much of an emergency. He swung his suitcase through the air and hit the button as hard as he could.
If there had been confusion while the escalator was moving, there was even more when it stopped. Paddington watched with surprise as everyone started running about in different directions shouting at each other. One man even began calling out “Fire!” and somewhere in the distance a bell began to ring.
He was just thinking what a lot of excitement pressing one small button could cause when a heavy hand descended on his shoulder.
“That’s him!” someone shouted, pointing an accusing finger. “Saw him do it with me own eyes. As large as life!”
“Hit it with his suitcase,” shouted another voice. “Ought not to be allowed!” While from the back of the crowd someone else suggested sending for the police.
Paddington began to feel frightened. He turned and looked up at the owner of the hand.
“Oh,” said a stern voice. “It’s you again. I might have known.” The inspector took out a notebook. “Name, please.”
“Er… Paddington,” said Paddington.
“I said what’s your name, not where do you want to go,” repeated the inspector.
“That’s right,” said Paddington. “That is my name.”
“Paddington!” said the inspector, unbelievingly. “It can’t be. That’s the name of a station. I’ve never heard of a bear called Paddington before.”
“It’s very unusual,” said Paddington. “But it’s Paddington Brown, and I live at number thirty-two Windsor Gardens. And I’ve lost Mrs Brown and Judy.”
“Oh!” The inspector wrote something in his book. “Can I see your ticket?”
“Er… I had it,” said Paddington. “But I don’t seem to any more.”
The inspector began writing again. “Playing on the escalator. Travelling without a ticket. Stopping the escalator. All serious offences they are.” He looked up. “What have you got to say to that, young feller me lad?”
“Well… er…” Paddington shifted uneasily and looked down at his paws.
“Have you tried looking inside your hat?” asked the inspector, not unkindly. “People often put their tickets in there.”
Paddington jumped with relief. “I knew I had it somewhere,” he said, thankfully, as he handed it to the inspector.
The inspector handed it back again quickly. The inside of Paddington’s hat was rather sticky.
“I’ve never known anyone take so long not to get anywhere,” he said, looking hard at Paddington. “Do you often travel on the Underground?”
“It’s the first time,” said Paddington.
“And the last if I have anything to do with it,” said Mrs Brown as she pushed her way through the crowd.
“Is this your bear, Madam?” asked the inspector. “Because if it is, I have to inform you that he’s in serious trouble.” He began to read from his notebook. “As far as I can see he’s broken two important regulations – probably more. I shall have to give him into custody.”
“Oh dear.” Mrs Brown clutched at Judy for support. “Do you have to? He’s only small and it’s his first time out in London. I’m sure he won’t do it again.”
“Ignorance of the law is no excuse,” said the inspector, ominously. “Not in court! Persons are expected to abide by the regulations. It says so.”
“In court!” Mrs Brown passed a hand nervously over her forehead. The word court always upset her. She had visions of Paddington being taken away in handcuffs and being cross-examined and all sorts of awful things.
Judy took hold of Paddington’s paw and squeezed it reassuringly. Paddington looked up gratefully. He wasn’t at all sure what they were talking about, but none of it sounded very nice.
“Did you say persons are expected to abide by the regulations?” Judy asked, firmly.
“That’s right,” began the inspector. “And I have my duty to do the same as everyone else.”
“But it doesn’t say anything about bears?” asked Judy, innocently.
“Well.” The inspector scratched his head. “Not in so many words.” He looked down at Judy, then at Paddington, and then all around. The escalator had started up again and the crowd of sightseers had disappeared.
“It’s all highly irregular,” he said. “But…”
“Oh, thank you,” said Judy. “I think you’re the kindest man I’ve ever met! Don’t you think so, Paddington?” Paddington nodded his