Kingdom of the Wicked. Derek Landy
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The door burst open behind her and Skulduggery ran in, gun in hand. He saw her. Froze. “Are you OK?”
She nodded.
“They didn’t hurt you?”
She shook her head.
“The Cleavers are taking back control. The riot has been subdued. The last stragglers are being rounded up. You’re sure you’re OK?”
“I’m grand. You can probably put your gun away.”
He looked at it. “I think I’ll keep it out, actually. In case I want to shoot someone. I see you’ve found the dearly departed Mr Nadir.”
“Mien’s been using him to shunt the prison through realities. Look at all these wires. The whole place is hooked up to him. It must be awful.”
Skulduggery joined her. “Don’t forget, the man is a serial killer.”
“He still shouldn’t be used like this.”
“The alternative is to keep him in a cell, being of no use to anyone.”
“Are you actually in favour of this?”
“Not at all,” Skulduggery said. “But I understand how Mien justified it to himself. Of course, I doubt either of us would be so morally righteous if Nadir had murdered anyone we knew.”
“That’s not the point,” said Valkyrie. “So what do we do now?”
“We unhook him,” Skulduggery said, examining the cables. “Hopefully, he’ll wake up and we can question him about Lament. Once we have our answer, we throw him back in his old cell.”
“Do you know how to unhook him?”
“I’m assuming we just take off the helmet.”
“Just like that? Will he be harmed?”
“If we’re lucky, it might sting him a little. If we’re unlucky, it might cause irreversible brain damage. I’m feeling lucky, though, aren’t you? It’s a Saturday. Saturdays have always been lucky for us.”
“I hadn’t noticed. Look, we should probably find someone who knows what they’re doing.”
“Probably,” Skulduggery murmured. “However …”
His gloved fingers skipped lightly over the helmet, then gripped a wire and yanked it from its slot.
Valkyrie’s eyes widened. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“I think I’ve worked it out,” he said. “I just need to disconnect the Emergency Valve Regulators one at a time. Once that’s done, removing the helmet shouldn’t result in any significant trauma.”
“Emergency Valve Regulators,” she repeated. “So you do know what you’re doing?”
“Not really,” he said, yanking another wire. “I made that term up to keep you happy. I’m just pulling all the red wires because they’re the pretty ones.”
Before she could protest, he’d yanked another three, then nodded. “That should do it.”
“Oh, dear God.”
He started undoing the helmet straps. “If this works, you’re going to be mightily impressed with me.”
“And if it doesn’t work, you could kill him.”
“For the chance to see the look of sheer awe on your face, Valkyrie, I’m willing to risk it.” He removed the helmet and let it fall. Nadir’s head lolled back and his eyes closed.
Valkyrie frowned. “When will we know if he’s OK?”
“When he wakes up, I should imagine. Help me unstrap him.”
They worked together to free Nadir of the wires and cables holding him off the ground, and together they laid him on the floor.
Valkyrie stood quietly for a few seconds, and asked, “Can we wake him now?”
“Patience has never been your strong suit, has it?” He slapped Nadir’s face. “Excuse me. Excuse me, could you wake up now, please?”
Nadir moaned, and frowned, and Skulduggery slapped him again. His eyes snapped open and he looked at them, glared at them, and scrambled up.
“Mr Nadir, my name is Skulduggery Pleasant, and this is my partner Valkyrie Cain. We’re here to—”
Whatever those cables were they must have been exercising his muscles as he slept, because there was no sign of atrophy as he lunged forward. He grabbed Valkyrie’s arm and she cried out and he tried grabbing Skulduggery but Skulduggery just punched him. He staggered into the wall and Skulduggery cuffed his hands behind his back, then looked at Valkyrie as she rubbed her arm. “Are you OK?”
“Fine,” she growled. “Just static electricity, gave me a little shock.”
“What the hell is going on?” Nadir raged. “What is this? What are you doing to me?”
“We’re actually helping you,” Skulduggery told him. “You’ve been napping down here for the last fifteen years, Mr Nadir. You must be well rested.”
“Fifteen years? What are you talking about with your fifteen years? I was just in my cell this morning!”
“I don’t generally have much time for serial killers, so I’m going to explain this to you once and then immediately move on. You were sentenced to seven hundred years for multiple counts of murder. You were sent here, to this pretty shoddy gaol. When Mien took over as warden, he connected you to the building and began using you to shunt the entire facility through dimensions. It’s the ultimate security system. No one can break in or break out because the prison travels to eight different realities every second, and it’s all thanks to you. Are you with me so far?”
Nadir gaped at him. “Fifteen years?”
“Indeed. Now then, we are here for an entirely different reason – but if you help us, we will ensure that you spend the remainder of your prison sentence, all six hundred and seventy-eight years of it, in the comforts of your duly-appointed cell. Understand?”
“Fifteen years?”
Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie. “Oh, dear. I think he might be brain-damaged.”
The door burst open again and Mien ran in.
“You!” he cried. “What are you doing? You can’t be here! This is a restricted area!”
“Valkyrie,” Skulduggery said.
She walked up to Mien, and the prison warden turned his attention to her. “This is my gaol and when you are here you operate by my rules, and this is not—”
Valkyrie smacked her palm into his jaw and he went backwards, his legs giving out. He crumpled to the floor where she cuffed him, binding symbols glowing on the narrow shackles. “Mr Mien,” she said, kneeling on his back, “you’re under arrest for, uh …” She looked to Skulduggery for help.
“Improper use of inmates,” he suggested.
“There