A Cure for All Diseases. Reginald Hill
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Mr Godleys house. There – said Parker.
He pointed up the hillside towards the ruins. From below – the alders in full leaf – that one bit of wall still standing does look like there might be a whole building behind.
– you mean the old mill? Well you could have saved yourself the bother – declared dad – Nowt to be seen up there – all the machinery were taken out twenty years ago – you can see some of it along at the Dales Museum – if youve got time to waste. As for the building – roofs fallen in & most of the walls. Id have knocked the rest down years back only some daft bugger got a conservation order put on it –
– but that cant be right – protested the man – darling pass me the magazine –
The woman dived into her bag & produced a copy of Mid-Yorkshire Life. It was folded open at a short piece entitled ‘Healing Hands’ – with a pic of a slightly embarrassed bearded guy holding up what were presumably the hands in question. His name – thisll make you laugh – was Gordon Godley!
– look – said Mr Parker triumphantly – its got the address quite clearly here. The Old Mill – Willingdene. Seeing the village signposted as we drove back from Harrogate – a sadly unproductive visit – once it may have been a serious spa town but now it has given itself over almost completely to commerce & frivolity – I naturally diverted & enquired of a young lad the way to the Old Mill. He gave me most precise directions which brought me here. Are you now telling me that is not the Old Mill? –
Im giving you Tom Parker verbatim – else youd miss the flavour. Its like listening to an old fashioned book come to life!
Dad smiled. You know how much he enjoys putting daft buggers right.
– it were once a mill right enough – & its certainly old. But theres not been anybody living there for half a century or more & Ill tell you why. This here is Willingden – just the one e. Willingdene is way up at the northern end of the dale –
If hed been a footie player – hed have set off running round the meadow – whirling his shirt over his head! He just loves winning – no matter who gets beaten. Remember those games of snap we used to play?
Mr Parker seemed more cast down by this news than by his sprained ankle.
– Im sorry my dear – he said to his wife – I should have taken more notice –
Taking all the blame on himself again – even though she was the one with the mag article. Nice – I thought. His reward was her continued terrier like support.
– it makes no difference – she said – this is marked on the map as a public right of way & someone ought to keep it in a proper condition –
– Charley – said dad quickly – whats the verdict on that ankle? –
I couldnt see any point in disagreeing with the patient.
– I think Mr Parkers right & its just a sprain – I said – a cold compress will help & he certainly shouldnt put any weight on it –
How was that Nurse Heywood?
– right – said dad – Charley bring the quad – lets get Mr & Mrs Parker down to the house – make them a bit more comfortable. George – you stop here & get the car pulled out of that mud. Clean it up & check for damage. Ill get on my mobile – tell your mother to put the kettle on – Im sure these good people are ready for a nice cup of tea –
I caught his eye & let my jaw drop in mock astonishment at this transformation from dedicated xenophobe to Good Samaritan.
He actually blushed! Then he gave me a sheepish grin that invited my complicity.
I grinned back & headed off towards the quad.
Hes not such a bad old sod really – is he? As long as he gets his own way. Bit like you! All right – & like me too. The fruit doesnt fall far from the tree. But you led the way. If you hadnt stood up to him & gone off to nurse – I doubt Id have had the nerve to hold out to go to uni & do psychology – & now after 3 years – whenever he gets close to driving me mad – I try to think of him as a case study!
But Ive still not told you how the Parkers came to be house-guests.
Thing was – when G pulled their car out of the tank trap – he found it wouldnt steer properly. Winstons garage said they could fix it – but theyd have to send away for a part. Tomorrow – they said – but knowing Winstons Im not holding my breath.
When Parker heard this he said – thats fine. No problem whatsoever. Perhaps – Mr Heywood – you could give me the number of the inn I saw in the village? – It looked a comfortable sort of place for us to rest in till the cars ready –
I could see the thoughts running through dads head like hed got a display screen on his brow. Being the most litigious man in the county – in Parkers place hed have been thinking compensation soon as his car hit the tank trap. Locally his views on daft buggers are well known – & he even boasts about his various stratagems for discouraging them. But these days – with tourism rated higher than farming in the rural economy – not everyone approves of him – & the enthusiastic gossips of the Nags Head bar would leave the Parkers in no doubt who to blame for their ‘accident’!
So I wasnt too surprised when I heard him say – Nags Head? – aye – its well enough. But the floors are uneven – stairs narrow – not at all what a man in your state needs. No – youd best stay here. Ill get George to bring your bags up from the car –
The Parkers were overcome by dads generosity. So was mum – with amazement! – but she quickly recovered – & I gave dad a big wink – & got one back!
So there you are. We have house-guests – & its time to go down & have supper with them. Ill keep you posted on how the HB bears up under the strain.
Take care – dont catch anything I wouldnt catch – & if you fall in love with a big handsome black man – e me a pic of you & him – & Ill stick it in dads prayer book so hell see it for the first time at church on Sunday morning!
Lots & lots of love
Charley X
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Omigod Cass! I must be psychic! OK – you say hes not black – but teaky bronze. Same difference – & is that all over? I mean all all over? & hes a doc too – just like in mums Mills & Boon stories! Means youll probably have trouble with some slinkily gorgeous lady medic – wholl manage to get you blamed when she accidentally offs a patient – but dont worry – itll all come right in the end!
I definitely want a pic. Cross my heart I wont stick it in dads prayer book – not till you give the word! But can I tell mum? Shes desperate for grand-kids. Adam & Kylie show no sign of producing – even if they did Oz is a hell of long way off – can you imagine getting the HB on a plane to fly twelve thousand miles? Rod spends most of his time at sea – & we know what sailors are! She was desolate when I got back early from my camping trip with Liam & Sam & Dot – & told her it was all off – irreconcilable differences – which is what us psychs say to our mums when we catch ex-partner Liam banging ex-best-mate Dot up against a pine tree. So – unless you settle down & start calving – I think she may strap me to my bed – & get to work with an AI straw!
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