Morgan's Child. Anne Mather
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she sat down before he went on. ‘I imagine because you’d told them about us,’ he declared reasonably, lowering his bulk beside her. ‘And your aunt’s away, remember? Which is just as well. They wouldn’t have wanted to disturb her with such upsetting news at her age.’
Upsetting!
Fliss looked down at her hands enclosed within one of Graham’s hands in her lap and felt a different kind of guilt. She should have told the Rikers about her and Graham getting engaged when she’d had the chance, she acknowledged tensely. But she’d never dreamed that something like this might happen, hadn’t imagined there might be a time limit on telling them she’d fallen in love with someone else.
It would have been so much easier now if they had been forewarned of her intentions. Easier for Graham, too, she conceded, guessing he might suspect she had put off telling her in-laws about him because she still had doubts. She didn’t honestly know why she had avoided telling them about her engagement. She’d known it would never be easy. The Rikers could never replace their son, whereas she—she could marry again.
And Graham could never take Morgan’s place in her affections, she appended swiftly. He wouldn’t want to. That kind of love happened only once in a lifetime, and perhaps that was why she’d kept her news to herself. How could she explain what Graham meant to her? It was something she’d known they’d never understand.
She took a deep breath, once again avoiding a difficult situation. ‘I can’t believe it,’ she said. ‘They were so certain it was Morgan’s remains they’d found. Or at least—’ she shuddered ‘—they believed it was the car Morgan was travelling in. Why did they tell us he was dead if there was any doubt?’
‘It was virtually a war zone, Fliss,’ Graham reminded her. ‘I don’t suppose it was possible to make any absolute identification at that time. There were human remains among the ashes, and didn’t you tell me they’d found your husband’s watch?’
‘What was left of it,’ murmured Fliss, feeling sick. ‘But they should have told us he might still be alive if they weren’t sure.’
‘But they didn’t,’ said Graham gently. ‘And be thankful that the news is good. Would you rather they were writing to tell you that they’d made a mistake and he was dead? How would that make you feel?’
Fliss blew out a breath. She honestly didn’t know how she felt. For so long she’d considered herself a widow. She’d just come to terms with that, and now she was expected to accept that it had all been a terrible mistake. And what had James meant, she wondered, when he’d said Morgan had been living with the rebels for the past four years? Surely there must have been some way he could have contacted her; let her know he was alive and not dead.
‘I suppose you’re right,’ she said now, wishing she didn’t feel so confused. She glanced about her somewhat dazedly. ‘What time is it? Have I been unconscious long?’
‘Not long,’ said Graham reassuringly, lifting his hand to touch a tender spot on the side of her head. ‘I think you must have knocked yourself out on the comer of the sofa. That was why I had such a hard time bringing you round.’
Fliss caught her breath. ‘I suppose I ought to ring Morgan’s mother and father; let them know I’m all right.’
‘No, I will,’ said Graham firmly, squeezing her hands for a moment before releasing her. ‘They felt they had to call me because your phone was off the hook.’
‘I see.’
Fliss moved her head in a cautious nod, and Graham got to his feet. ‘I must say,’ he added, ‘I’m surprised they sprang the news on you so recklessly. Had you had no warning? Haven’t the authorities been in touch with you?’
‘Well...’ Fliss turned her head towards the small pile of envelopes she could just see residing on the end of the kitchen counter. ‘There might be a letter,’ she confessed, ‘but I haven’t looked at the mail. All I usually get are bills, and I’m afraid I thought they could wait.’
‘Never mind.’ Graham bent to give her a swift hug before moving away. ‘So long as you’re all right, that’s all I care about. Now—I’m going to make you a cup of tea and then I’ll make that call.’
Fliss forced herself to relax against the cushions, giving herself up to the comforting protection Graham always offered. What would she do without him? She’d come to depend on him so much. He was so big and gentle—and capable. Yes, that was it; she’d always felt so safe in his arms.
But no longer.
With a start, the remembrance of what the Rikers’ phone call was going to mean caused her to stiffen. Oh, God, she thought, here they were discussing how she’d heard the news without really considering the consequences of it. Morgan was alive. Until that moment, she hadn’t really absorbed the concept of what that really meant in terms of the future. Her husband wasn’t dead. However unbelievable that sounded, it was true.
She remembered suddenly how angry she’d been when Morgan had first told her he was going to Nyanda.
‘You can’t,’ she’d declared hotly, when he’d told her about the call he’d had from Paul Giles. ‘For God’s sake, Morgan, there’s a war going on in Nyanda, and it’s not as if you work for the company any more.’
‘But I did,’ he’d reminded her mildly. ‘And I’m only going out there to dismantle a few old missiles. I shan’t be involved in the fighting. According to Paul, the rebels have all been confined to the northern half of the country.’
‘And what if they haven’t?’ Fliss had protested. ‘What if they attack Kantanga? What if there’s a coup?’
Morgan’s mouth had tilted in a lazy grin. ‘What a lot of “what ifs”, my darling,’ he’d teased her lightly. And then he’d said, gathering her closer, ‘Just think of the homecoming we’ll have when I get back.’
But he hadn’t come back. Not then...
‘What is it?’
Graham had come back and was looking at her with anxious eyes. Had he considered what this would do to their relationship? she wondered. He’d given her his love and so much more. She’d known a feeling of security with him she’d never known with Morgan. Whatever happened, she didn’t want to let him down.
‘I—just can’t believe this has really happened,’ she said, not altogether untruthfully. But how could she tell him of the fears she had now? She looked up at him wistfully, remembering how happy she had been when he’d put his ring on her finger. ‘I feel as if it’s some weird dream; that any minute I’m going to wake up.’
‘But you know it’s not a dream,’ said Graham gently, taking the hand she held out to him. ‘My darling, this is going to take some getting used to for—for all of us.’ He bent and kissed her knuckles. ‘Morgan’s your husband. However much I love you, I mustn’t forget that. I have to accept that he has the—prior claim to your affections now.’
‘No!’ Fliss gazed up at him with troubled eyes. Whatever happened, she thought, she didn’t want to lose Graham’s love. ‘I love you,’ she said fiercely. ‘I can barely remember Morgan.’ She caught her lower lip between her teeth. ‘You have to believe me. I couldn’t bear it if you deserted me now.’
‘Fliss—’
‘It’s true.’ She was adamant, getting up from the sofa to gaze searchingly into his face. ‘We’d only been married for a few months when Morgan—when he was reported missing. We hadn’t known one another as long as I’ve known you.’
Graham heaved a sigh. ‘Oh, Fliss.’ He ran a finger round the inside of his dog collar as if it suddenly felt too tight. ‘That’s not the point, my dear. You know how much I want us to be together. But we can’t ignore the facts, no matter how great the temptation may be.’
Fliss stared at him, pulling the braid in which she