The Face Behind the Mask. Helen Phifer
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dark a day she was having.
Kav rolled his eyes at him. ‘Thank fuck for that.’
‘I’m not going to the crematorium. I’m bursting out of these pants and they itch like mad. My balls feel as if they’re on fire. Should we head back now and have a drink?’
Annie and Kav nodded. Cathy wandered over.
‘What are you three up to?’
‘Nothing. I just asked these two reprobates if they were coming to my house. I bloody hate funerals.’
Annie smiled. ‘Tell her the real reason you want to leave, Jake.’
He poked her in the side. ‘Come on, who’s giving me a lift?’
Kav pointed at Annie. ‘She’s the chauffeur today.’
‘That’s good. I get to be driven home in style by Miss Daisy. Bring it on.’
The four of them wandered towards the small lane where Annie had parked. A car went past with Will in the passenger seat. He blew her a kiss. No matter how many times she saw him her heart always did a little flip. She lifted her hand to wave. They got into her Mercedes: Kav and Cathy in the back, Jake in the front. She waited for the long line of cars to pull out and follow the funeral procession before setting off. Jake turned to look at Kav.
‘Don’t you two be getting up to any funny stuff in that back seat. You’re both way too old for that sort of thing.’
Annie laughed as Kav’s huge hand slapped Jake around the side of the head.
‘You never learn do you, Jake? Always respect your elders, especially when they can still kick your arse.’
‘Ouch, violence is never the answer.’
She edged the car out after the last of the mourners and began the short drive to Jake’s house. She couldn’t wait to give Alfie the biggest cuddle ever. She hated funerals. They were a painful reminder that no one lived for ever, despite wanting to. Especially because she’d come close to dying herself a fair few times the last couple of years. It gave her the shivers just thinking about it.
She parked outside Jake’s house and couldn’t get out of the car fast enough when Alex opened the front door with her baby in his arms. Alfie was growing so much he wasn’t going to be a baby for much longer. The last eight months had flown by so fast. She’d not had to think about much except looking after Alfie and she loved it. Although she was getting a little bored not having much adult conversation, she saw Jake a couple of times a week and Cathy kept in touch, as did Kav.
Jo – her new-found friend – even popped in whenever she wasn’t busy. After surviving her husband Heath’s almost fatal attack at their cottage, Jo had recovered well and got herself a job in the village café where they served huge cakes. Annie especially liked Jo’s visits because she normally brought cake with her.
Annie needed to seriously consider if she was going back to her job as a community police officer soon. Before she knew it her twelve months’ maternity leave would be up. Alfie reached his chubby hands towards her and his little face lit up when she smiled at him. She took him from Alex.
‘Has he been good?’
‘He’s been a little angel, no bother at all.’
Jake sniggered. ‘Thank God he doesn’t take after his mother.’
‘You’re on fine form today, Jake.’
Jake patted Annie’s back. ‘Sorry, I promise I’ll behave from now on. I think it must be funeral nerves. They make me want to laugh and joke to remember that I’m still alive.’
They all followed Alex into the kitchen where Alice was scooting around in her baby walker and stuffing cheesy puffs into her mouth. Kav shook his head. ‘Bugger me, there are kids everywhere. How did that happen?’
Cathy laughed. ‘Surely at your age you know exactly how that happens.’
Alice took one look at him and forced her little legs to manoeuvre the walker in his direction where she slammed straight into his shins. He bent down and tugged her from the walker.
‘It’s a good job I like you, kid; I wouldn’t let your dad get away with that kind of behaviour.’
He winked at her and she began to giggle. Jake kissed both Alfie’s and his daughter’s cheeks then ran upstairs to get changed. Annie looked at Alex.
‘Apparently his balls are on fire.’
Alex’s laughter filled the room. ‘Well, that makes a change.’ He took some bottles of lager out of the fridge and offered them around. Annie shook her head. Both Kav and Cathy took one, opening them and drinking them in a couple of gulps. Putting Alfie down into the bouncer, she set about making herself a coffee.
‘Was it bad?’
Annie nodded.
‘Really bad – I hate funerals. Why do people have to die?’
Kav took hold of her hand. ‘What did I tell you? That it’s not your fault Stu decided to play silly buggers and made some terrible choices.’
Alex took hold of her other hand. ‘How’s Will?’
‘I don’t know. He’s gone to the crematorium and then he’s going to the wake for a bit. I said I’d meet him here, so I can drive him home. It will do him good to get it out of his system.’
Jake came back downstairs wearing a pair of cut-off denim shorts and a white vest top.
Kav started laughing. ‘Bloody hell, it’s George Michael in the flesh.’
Jake stuck two fingers up at Kav and took a bottle of lager from Alex and lifted it up. ‘To Stuart: let’s hope you’re much happier up there than you were down here.’
They all lifted their bottles; Annie lifted her mug and everyone said in unison, ‘To Stuart.’
A loud knock on the door made Jake jump up off his chair. He managed to spill lager all down his front and stain his perfect white vest. He looked out of the living room window and laughed.
‘Watch out, the rozzers are here. It’s a raid.’
Annie peered out of the window and gasped to see Will being helped out of the back of the locked cage of a police van, which was normally reserved for criminals.
‘Oh shit.’
The two young policemen who were standing at the back of the cage both had their arms out ready to catch Will. It was a good job they did because he stumbled, missed the step and landed in their arms. He tried his best to straighten up then saluted them both. Jake, who was standing at the front door, watched the scene before him with a huge grin on his face. The two policemen took an arm each and walked Will up Jake’s path. They were both red-faced. Jake shook his head.
‘Now then, William; we give you a couple of hours’ freedom from your everyday life and look what happens! You’re completely shit-faced.’
Will nodded his head in agreement. ‘I can’t argue with that.’
Jake took hold of his arm so the other two could let go. As they did, Will stumbled forwards, almost taking Jake down with him. Annie, who was standing behind Jake holding Alfie, moved out of the way.
‘I better get him home. Help me to get him in the car, please, Jake.’
‘Wouldn’t you be better letting him come in and have some water? You could stop here tonight.’
Will chuckled. ‘Bloody water – are you having a laugh? I want whisky on the rocks, you pack of pussies.’
Annie was mortified at the state he was in. She wanted to throw a bucket of cold water over him to sober