If You Don't Know By Now. Teresa Southwick
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words he’d written. Go on with your life…. Not fair to you…. Can’t ask you to wait.
“Refresh my memory,” she said, then sucked air into her lungs.
“I had certain—skills and qualifications my commanding officer recognized and tapped. I was recommended for Special Forces. A mission.”
“How nice for you.”
He sipped his coffee, covering any reaction to her sarcasm. “They hand-picked the candidates and each was chosen on the basis of qualifications and no personal ties.”
Just the one you turned your back on because you didn’t know. And the one you over looked because you did, she silently amended.
“Go on,” she urged.
“They encouraged us to sever any ties we could because the mission was dangerous. We didn’t know if we’d make it back.”
“But you did.”
“Yeah.”
He stared into his coffee at things only he could see. A muscle in his cheek contracted and somehow she knew his memories were painful ones.
“And you didn’t get in touch,” she added.
He met her gaze then but she couldn’t see past the shadows. “I knew it wouldn’t be the last mission. Personal relationships weren’t encouraged.”
“I see.”
“My career took off.”
“Congratulations.”
“I found something I was good at, Mags.”
“And what is that?” she asked.
One corner of his mouth quirked up. “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.”
She knew he was joking, but only partly. In his circumspect way, he was telling her he was one of those men who went where others feared to go. One who kept the gray area safe for Mom, apple pie and the girl he left behind. But there was someone else he’d left behind and he needed to know about her.
Only how could she tell him? He couldn’t even tell her specifics about what he did for a living. He was hiding things. Dangerous things? He was her daughter’s father. And Maggie couldn’t deny she was still attracted to him. But the truth was too sensitive to just drop on him out of the blue. Or at all? What did she really know about him? She knew he wasn’t staying. He might not even want to know.
“It wasn’t fair to ask you to wait,” he finished.
“Thanks for making the decision for me.”
Maggie had intended the words to be light and breezy, but they’d sounded sarcastic and just this side of hateful. She was ten years too late in fussing at him for not getting in touch. But the depth and power of the emotions churning inside her con firmed that she still had un re solved feelings.
“Can I warm your coffee?” she asked.
When he nodded, she grabbed the pot and walked over to him. She had to touch him, wrap her hand around his to hold his cup steady. Meeting his gaze, she saw the dark intensity in his eyes and wondered again what the sensitive mission and all the others since had entailed. Her first obligation was to protect Faith. Before she brought father and daughter together, she needed to know more about him. Besides, he said he’d only be there temporarily. Was it right to reveal this secret knowing Faith would be heart broken when he left her? If anyone knew how that felt, it was Maggie.
She took one step away from him, then another and another until she was across the room and could form words again.
“Can you tell me what skills brought you to your commanding officer’s attention? Or would you have to kill me then, too?”
“I don’t think that’s classified. It was actually two things. Physical—”
“There’s a surprise.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she wanted them back with a fervor she reserved only for chocolate. “What I meant was, you were in pretty good shape. From rodeoing. As I recall,” she finished lamely.
A slow, sexy grin curved up the corners of his lips. “Endurance was a factor. And intensity.”
She’d been the focus of that intensity once upon a time. It had been pretty seductive. And the primary reason why she’d been relieved when he’d said he wouldn’t be in Destiny for long. She didn’t want to chance having such concentrated scrutiny land on her for any extended length of time. Historically, she didn’t handle it well.
“What other ‘know-how’ brought you attention?”
“I took to computers like a wild mustang takes to the open range.”
“There’s that Texas boy I knew and—”
What? Loved? Not anymore. No way, no how. Nope.
She shook her head. “So you’re good with those ornery little contraptions? Maybe you’re just the man I need.”
One dark eyebrow rose. “Oh?”
She ignored the way her heart hammered, her hands shook and her knees wobbled. “Y-yeah. My computer is a mean-tempered, lazy, stubborn, good-for-nothing pile of chips, hard drive and disks.”
“Froze up on you?”
“That seems like a big leap.”
“Nine times out of ten the level of frustration you just ex pressed usually means the computer froze up. Want me to take a look?”
“More than you could possibly know.”
He walked to the desk and leaned over to study the screen. He turned the machine off and waited several moments before booting it back up again. Not that she even wanted to get close, but before she could move in to peek over his shoulder, he touched some keys, then straightened and looked at her.
“I think it will work for you now. If you talk nice.”
“What did you do?” she asked reverently. Then she held up a hand. “Never mind. If you tell me you’d probably have to kill me and I really don’t want to know that badly.”
He laughed. “It’s easy.”
“Maybe for you. I don’t mind admitting I’m technologically challenged. And I have a great deal of respect for people like you.”
His smile dimmed, then died. What had she said?
“Thanks for the coffee, Maggie.” He walked to the sink and rinsed out his cup. “I’ll get out of your hair. You have to go to work and Faith has camp.”
“How did you know that?”
“You mentioned it last night, when you said it was time to go home.”
“Oh.” He was a sharp one. She would tuck the information away. “We’ve got time. I could fix you breakfast—”
He shook his head. “I have an appointment. But thanks anyway. I’ll let myself out.”
And then he was gone. The man dropped in and out of her life with about as much notice and the same potentially destructive force as a stealth bomber.
“Faith, it’s time to go.”
Maggie put the finishing touches on her daughter’s lunch and snapped the lid closed on her lunch box. As she put the dirty peanut butter knife in the sink, she noticed the mug Jack had used just a short time before. She rubbed her finger around the rim. It was cold; his mouth was warm. She remembered from last night. She’d never for got ten.
“Faith Elizabeth, we’re going to be late.”
The sound of the slider made her turn around. “What were you doing outside?” Maggie asked.
“Jensen is next door talking to Jack.”
Her