The Ashtons: Walker, Ford & Mercedes: Betrayed Birthright / Mistaken for a Mistress / Condition of Marriage. Sheri WhiteFeather
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in her throat.
“Did you hear me?”
“Yes.” Beneath her plain white bra, her nipples turned hard—hard enough to graze her top, to make bulletlike impressions.
“Would you have kissed me back?”
“No,” she lied, crossing her arms, trying to hide her breasts.
“I think you would’ve,” he said.
Tamra forced herself to look at him. A mistake, she realized. An error in judgment. Now her panties were warm, the cotton sticking to her skin. “We’re supposed to get past this.”
“Past what?” He leaned into her, so close, his face was only inches from hers. “Wanting each other?”
She nodded, and he touched her cheek. A gentle caress. A prelude to a kiss.
She waited. But he didn’t do it.
He dropped his hand to his lap and moved back, away from her. “We are.” He brushed his own fly, tensed his fingers and made a frustrated fist. “We’re past it.”
She stole a glance at his zipper, looked away, hoped to God she wasn’t blushing. “Then let’s talk about something else.”
“Fine. But I can’t think of anything.” He spread his thighs, slouching a little. “Can you?”
“Not really, no.” And his posture was making her dizzy, ridiculously light-headed. She could almost imagine sliding between his legs, whispering naughty things in his ear.
He cleared his throat. “How about San Francisco?”
She fussed with her blouse again. “What?”
“We can discuss San Francisco.”
“You want to compare notes?” She told herself to relax, to quit behaving like a crush-crazed teenager. “About what? Our alma mater?”
He shook his head. “I went to UC Berkeley.”
“Then what?”
“I want to know what happened in San Francisco. Why you didn’t stay there.” A slight breeze blew, cooling the prairie, stirring the air.
She squinted, saw a speckling of stars, milky dots that had yet to shine.
“Will you tell me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, drawing the strength to talk about her baby, the infant she’d buried in Walker’s hometown.
Four
Tamra took a deep breath, fighting the pain that came with the past. Walker didn’t say anything. He just waited for her to speak.
“I had a baby in San Francisco,” she said. “A little girl. But she was stillborn.”
“Oh, God. I’m sorry. I had no idea.” He reached over to take her hand, to skim his fingers across hers.
She closed her eyes for a moment, grateful for his touch, his compassion. “She’s still there. In a cemetery near my old apartment.”
“Do you want me to visit her when I go home?” he asked. “To take her some flowers?”
Tamra opened her eyes, felt her heart catch in her throat. She hadn’t expected him to make such a kind offer. “That would mean a lot to me. Sometimes I worry that she’s lonely, all by herself in a big city. I know that’s a crazy way to feel, but I can’t help it.” She looked up at the sky again. “I should have buried her here. But at the time, I was determined to stay in San Francisco, to prove I could make it.”
“But you changed your mind?”
She nodded. “After a while, I realized I was spinning in circles. Mourning my baby and trying to be someone I wasn’t.” She looked at him, saw him looking back at her. “Mary and I went to San Francisco because we were defying our heritage, because we wanted to be white. But we’re not. We’re Lakota. And this is our home.”
He released her hand, but he did it gently, slowly. “What about your baby’s father? How does he fit into all of this?”
“He doesn’t, not anymore.”
“But he did. He gave you a child.”
When her chest turned tight, she blew out the breath she was holding. “He broke up with me when he found out I was pregnant. He wasn’t her father. He was a sperm donor.”
Walker searched her gaze. “Did you love him?”
“Yes.” She shifted in her seat, causing the swing to rock. “His name is Edward Louis. I met him through JT Marketing, the firm I worked for. He’s one of their top clients.”
“A white guy?”
“Yes. A corporate mogul. The president of a wheel corporation. You know, fancy rims and tires.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you.” Walker paused, frowned. “Is it Titan Motorsports? Is that the company he represents?”
“No. Why? Does it matter?”
“I have Titan wheels on my Jag. I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t supporting the enemy.”
She smiled, leaned against his shoulder, decided she liked him. “Your Jaguar is safe.”
“Good.” He leaned against her, too. “I don’t understand how a man could leave a woman who’s carrying his child.”
“He thought I trapped him. That I got pregnant on purpose. He didn’t love me the way I loved him. But I’m not blaming that on his race. It doesn’t have anything to do with him being white. Plenty of Indian men walk away, too.”
“Like your dad?”
“Exactly.”
“I’m still having a hard time with my mom,” Walker said. “It bothers me that she didn’t fight to keep her children. That she let us go. But on the other hand, I’m grateful that I’ve lived a privileged life. That I wasn’t raised here.” He made a face. “I realize how awful that sounds, but I can’t help it. It’s just so damn poor.”
“That was part of Mary’s reasoning, I think. Why she didn’t fight. Why she let Spencer take you.”
“So it was more than him just threatening her?”
Tamra nodded. “It was the hopelessness she felt, the fear of not being able to provide for you and Charlotte. Eighty-five percent of the people on Pine Ridge are unemployed. There’s no industry, technology or commercial advancement to provide jobs.”
“She has a job now.”
“Twenty-two years after she let you and your sister go. Mary has come a long way since then.”
“But Pine Ridge hasn’t.”
“Maybe not, but we keep trying. Mary knows she was wrong. That she should have fought to keep her kids. We have to believe in ourselves, to teach our young to battle the hopelessness, to rise above it.”
“That’s a noble concept. But how realistic is it?”
“Come to work with me tomorrow and find out.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Is that a dare?”
“You bet it is.” She wasn’t about to let him leave the reservation on a discouraging note. She wanted him to be proud of his birthright.
“Then what choice do I have?” He gave her a playful nudge. “I’m not the kind of man who backs away from a challenge. Especially from a pretty girl.”
She didn’t flirt back. At least not in a lighthearted way. She was too emotional to goof around, too serious to make silly jokes. In the waning light, she touched the side of his