The Pregnant Surgeon. Jennifer Taylor
Читать онлайн книгу.
that her emotional life had been neglected. Oh, she’d had the odd romantic liaison over the years but never anything serious. She hadn’t been prepared to put in the time or the effort it had needed to maintain a relationship when she’d had her career to consider.
The men she’d dated had soon tired of coming second to her job so for the past few years she had refused any invitations. It had seemed pointless going out on a date when she wasn’t interested in having a relationship with anyone, yet she realised with a sudden flash of insight that she would be interested if Dylan asked her out. The thought terrified her because she knew in her heart that there could be no compromises in that situation. It would be all or nothing if she got involved with a man like Dylan, and that was out of the question. She wasn’t prepared to sacrifice her career for love.
Dylan walked over to the door then turned and walked all the way back to the desk just to prove to himself that he was capable of making his limbs obey him. He felt a little better after he’d done it, more able to cope with making his mind listen to reason. If Joanna didn’t want his help then that was the end of the story.
Only it wouldn’t be the end because he would be forced to spend the rest of the night worrying about her, wouldn’t he?
He swore under his breath, wishing not for the first time that day that he’d never taken this wretched job. If he hadn’t taken it he would be carrying on as normal. He glanced at his watch and made a few rapid calculations. He should be on his way home by now and trying to decide nothing more stressful than which restaurant he would take the current woman in his life to for dinner. Once dinner was over they might either go on to a club or back to his flat depending on the stage they were at in their relationship, although lately it had been rare that he’d invited anyone to spend the night with him.
Dylan frowned when it struck him just how long it had been, in fact, since he’d slept with a woman. It wasn’t because of a lack of willing partners either, but he just wasn’t interested in casual sex nowadays. He wanted more from a relationship than a few hours of physical pleasure, things like closeness and commitment, a sense of them belonging together. Casual sex was a bit like scratching an itch—good while it lasted but quickly forgotten afterwards—and he wanted more than that. In fact, when he asked Joanna to spend the night with him it would be because they both knew they were making a commitment to each other.
The thought astounded him. He swung round and marched back to the door again then stood there while he took half a dozen deep breaths to clear his head. Putting the horse before the cart wasn’t in it! Commitment and Joanna Martin were two concepts which should never have been uttered in the same breath at this stage, so how come they had sneaked into his head?
He had no idea but what he did know was that he’d be in serious trouble if Joanna discovered what he’d been thinking. The last thing he could afford at this stage in his career was to be dismissed, yet it was a distinct possibility if she thought she was in danger of being compromised in any way.
Dylan called on all his resources before he turned to face her, and even then found his resolve wavering when he saw how upset she looked. He ached to comfort her but he forced himself to behave with decorum. Joanna was his boss and he was going to treat her as such even if it killed him—which it very well might!
‘Look, Joanna, I’m not trying to pry but if there is any way I can help you only need to say the word.’ He shrugged when she glanced up, hoping he looked suitably nonchalant. ‘The offer’s there but it’s up to you whether or not you accept it.’
‘I…um…Thank you. I appreciate your concern but everything is fine, I assure you.’
Dylan’s nostrils flared with impatience when he heard the distance in her voice. She was deliberately trying to blank him and it hurt to be on the receiving end of such tactics. However, deep down he knew there would be little to gain but a lot to lose if he pursued the matter so he merely shrugged.
‘Fine. In that case I’ll say goodnight. Have a pleasant evening.’
‘Fat chance of that!’
He’d already taken a couple of steps out of the door when he heard that comment and he stopped dead. He looked round, feeling his very bones melting with tenderness when he saw how appalled she looked. It was obvious that she hadn’t intended to say that and it touched his heart that the words had spilled out despite her intentions. Maybe Joanna found it a bit more difficult to maintain her aura of cool professionalism in front of him than she did in front of the rest of her staff?
The thought was far too tantalising to ignore so Dylan didn’t try. He slowly made his way back into the room. ‘Want to explain that comment?’ he asked, half expecting a rebuff. His heart lifted when she grimaced because it was the first time she’d willingly betrayed any sign of weakness in front of him.
‘I have to give a speech at the Royal College of Surgeons annual dinner tonight and I’ve just realised that what I’ve written is a complete load of rubbish.’ She tapped a fingernail on the neatly typed notes piled on her desk. ‘It’s flat, boring and will have everyone snoring before I reach the second paragraph!’
‘Then it should be fine.’ He grinned when she looked at him in surprise. ‘Every single speech I’ve ever heard at the dinner has had me nodding off so yours should fit the occasion perfectly.’
There was total silence for a moment and he gritted his teeth as he wondered if his flippancy had offended her. This was obviously important to her and he shouldn’t have tried to make light of her concerns. A little chuckle suddenly broke the silence and he heaved a sigh of relief when he realised she was laughing.
‘Thank heavens for that! I thought I’d mortally offended you.’
‘You didn’t. Not at all.’ She chuckled again, a throaty sound that made his toes curl and caused an immediate reaction in another part of his anatomy as well. Dylan shifted uncomfortably when he felt his body make its own appreciative statement as to how it felt about that alluring little laugh.
‘You’ve made me see how stupid I’m being so thank you very much. I’d got myself so keyed up about making the perfect speech that I’d lost sight of the fact that most of the speeches I’ve listened to have bored me rigid.’ She grinned as she briskly gathered up her notes. ‘At least mine won’t rock the boat and give anyone a heart attack by being too challenging!’
‘I’m sure you’re doing yourself an injustice,’ he protested, desperate to get his mind back on the subject under discussion rather than what was currently occupying it. Thoughts like that—and he certainly wasn’t going to elaborate on what sort of thoughts they were—were totally inappropriate.
‘I doubt it but who cares? I shall do my best and just have to hope that it’s enough.’
‘Nobody can do more than that, Joanna. Nobody expects any more than that, in fact,’ he gently pointed out. He sighed when she looked at him questioningly. He really didn’t want to start making more waves but he could hardly refuse to explain what he’d meant.
‘You’re far too hard on yourself. It isn’t good to keep striving for perfection all the time.’
She laughed shortly. ‘You hardly know me, Dr Archer, so I really can’t see that you’re qualified to make that kind of judgement.’
‘Maybe I don’t know you all that well but it’s obvious that you are completely dedicated to your work,’ he countered.
‘And is that your opinion or are you quoting your esteemed colleague. What was it that Dr Barnes said? Ah, yes, that’s it. I’m paranoid about making sure everyone works to my standards and that the staff all salute you for making me behave like a human being. I think I got it right, didn’t I?’
Dylan’s heart sank, not because Joanna had somehow overheard Tom’s comments but because of the hurt in her voice. It had upset her to hear herself being spoken about in those less than flattering terms and he felt guilty about having been part of the conversation.
‘Maybe Tom did say all that but he said it