Her Rugged Rancher. Stella Bagwell
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The memory of her soft, eager lips moving against his, the way her body had practically wrapped itself around his, still had the power to make his groin ache with need.
“—riding the canyon. Noah? Hello? Are you with me?”
Jett’s voice finally penetrated his deep thoughts and with a mental curse at himself, he looked over at his friend.
“Sorry, Jett. I was thinking about something. What were you saying?”
Frowning at him, Jett rose from the makeshift seat. “There must be something in the air that’s causing late spring fever or some sort of mild dementia. Bella’s been going around the office in a fog. Now I can’t even keep your attention. Are you all right?”
No. There was nothing right about him, Noah wanted to say. But he couldn’t. How could he explain to Jett that he was overwhelmed with the need to make love to his sister? That every moment of the day, she was on his mind like a wide-awake dream? Not only that, his encounter with Bella was the very thing he’d desperately tried to avoid all these years he’d been on the J Bar S. It was crazy. And he had to put a stop to it before his job, his whole life here on the ranch, came to an end.
“Hell, yes, I’m all right. Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked gruffly.
Jett shrugged as he passed a keen gaze over Noah’s face. “You tell me. You’re not acting like your usual self. Have any of the guys been slacking or giving you a problem?”
“No. They’re all working hard and no tempers have flared. I’m just tired, that’s all. In fact, if there’s nothing else we need to talk over, I’m going to head home.”
“Go ahead. I figure Sassy’s probably waiting dinner for me anyway.” He moved closer and gave Noah an affectionate slap on the shoulder. “Don’t pay any mind to me, Noah. It’s just that I worry about you.”
Noah was momentarily taken aback. It was true that Jett considered him more of a close friend than an employee, but he’d never expressed this kind of concern before. “Worry? Why would you do that?”
A wry expression crossed Jett’s face. “Because I want you to be happy. And it’s obvious that you aren’t.”
Ignoring the hollow pain in the pit of his stomach, Noah let out a mocking snort. “Since when did you become a psychiatrist?”
“I don’t need a doctor’s degree to figure out that much.”
Noah hung the leather headstall back on its hook. “I guess the next thing you’re going to do is tell me I need to get out more. Find myself a woman and have a passel of kids.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve told you that.”
“I wish to hell it would be your last.”
“A family would change your life—for the better,” Jett argued.
“Over my dead body,” Noah muttered, then giving his hat an unnecessary tug onto his forehead, he started toward the door. “I’m going home.”
“Noah, wait a minute.”
Reluctantly, Noah paused and turned to face the other man. “Jett, I really don’t want to get into this.”
Jett shook his head. “I’m not about to give you a lecture, Noah, or anything like that. I just wanted to say that we’ve been good friends for years now. And I’ve never tried to stick my nose in your private life. Past or present. But it’s always been clear to me that you’re running and hiding from something. I just hope that one of these days you’ll turn and face whatever it is that’s haunting you. Because until then you’ll just be going through the motions of living.”
His jaw tight, Noah muttered, “If that isn’t one of your lectures, I’d sure hate to hear one.”
Grinning now, Jett made a backhanded wave at the door. “Go on. That’s all I have to say about the matter. I’ll call you from the Horn tomorrow and let you know about the saddles.”
The sudden change of subject had Noah heaving out a breath of relief. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Have a good night, buddy.”
Outside, Noah crossed the ranch yard to where his truck was parked near the saddling pen. By now darkness was fast approaching, shrouding the barns and connecting corrals with deep shadows. The rest of the ranch hands had left more than an hour ago and, other than a handful of goats eating from a trough, the work area was quiet.
At any other time Noah would have lingered to relish the peacefulness, but not tonight. He wanted to get away from Jett and the sight of his happy home lit with warm lights. In a few minutes, when Jett walked through the door, the kids would fling themselves at him and Sassy would no doubt greet him with a kiss.
Noah didn’t know what that might feel like. To have a family shower him with such love. And he’d probably never know. Because he wasn’t ever going to put his trust, or his well-being, in the hands of a woman. No matter how sweet her kisses were.
The drive to Noah’s cabin took fifteen minutes, not because there were several miles between the two places, but rather the road was rough, making it slow traveling. As Noah maneuvered the truck over the rubboard surface, he tried once again to clear his mind of Bella, but she remained stubbornly fixed in his thoughts.
Jett had said he was worried about his sister and Noah couldn’t help but wonder if her behavior had anything to do with last Sunday and her visit to the cabin. Or was he putting too much importance on those hot kisses they’d shared?
Damn it, he’d not wanted to insult her or hurt her. God help him, she was the only woman he’d ever felt the need to cherish and protect. That’s why he’d said those cutting things to her, because she deserved much better than him. He’d thought his bluntness would show her he wasn’t a man who was worthy of her. She needed to understand that he was only a cowboy with nothing to offer her. Nothing at all. And yet, these past few days, he’d been overwhelmed with the longing to see her face again, to hear her voice and feel her soft lips yielding to his.
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