Bound By Their Babies: Bound by Their Babies. Caroline Anderson
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for your career progression. It’s not trivial.’
‘I know. I realise that, so does Emily, but to be frank, Ben, we’d don’t have a lot of options and this is far and away the best idea we’ve come up with for either of us. Can I talk to her about the extra sessions and come back to you?’
‘Of course. What sort of start date were you thinking of?’
‘As soon as possible. I can’t mess about like this for ever, it’s not fair on you or Matilda or my patients, and Em needs an answer, too, because she’s coming to the end of her mat leave and she needs to get a job sorted soon.’
Ben gave a wry smile. ‘Good, because juggling the rota is frying my brains. Look, go and talk to her and let me know what she thinks. Obviously you’ll have to jump through all the official hoops, but nobody’s in the business of making this any more complicated than it has to be and if you want to go ahead I’ll do everything I can.’
He nodded. ‘And until then? Because yesterday was a really tough day for Emily and the kids, but I’m so conscious of letting you down if I take more time off and I’m just torn in two.’
‘Of course you are,’ Ben said quietly. ‘Anyone would be, and I do understand, but don’t worry about it. We all need this sorted out one way or another very quickly, but I’m sure it can be done, subject of course to interview and your joint proposal ticking all the necessary boxes. We’d need to be sure it would work before we could agree to it.’
He closed his eyes briefly, felt some of the tension leak away and gave a quiet laugh. ‘Of course. And thanks for being so reasonable. I’m really sorry about this.’
‘Don’t be. Stuff happens, Jake, it’s all part of life’s rich pattern. The trick is to learn to roll with the punches. Go on, take Matilda home, talk to Emily and get back to me.’
* * *
Her phone rang while she was swiping porridge from every accessible part of Zach’s high chair.
Jake. Of course.
‘You have a gift for calling me when I’m covered in gloop,’ she said drily. ‘How did it go?’
‘Well, I think. He’s going to talk to the Trust. We’re just on our way home. I’ll tell you more then.’
So it could be happening. She put the phone down and carried on wet-wiping, a funny little hitch in her chest. And not in a good way.
Ridiculous, because she had to work, she wanted to work, and this whole thing had been her idea, so from that point of view it was good, but he’d been right about her house. She already missed it, missed having her familiar things around her like a security blanket, even if she’d denied it yesterday. It wasn’t for ever, though, just until the children were a little older so they could go into full-time childcare without being irreparably damaged.
And that time would come. She couldn’t imagine Jake wanting to work part time for ever. He was too much of a career doctor to want to take a back seat, and then she could go back to her own house, or sell it and move on. There was no hurry now, though. She could let the house in the meantime and see how it went. She didn’t have to sell it and burn all her boats.
Not yet.
* * *
They took the children to the park and pushed them side by side in the baby swings while she listened to what Ben had said.
‘There’s a lot of official stuff. We’ll have to submit a joint application for the job share, outlining how we’d split the workload, and we’d both have to be interviewed so they can be sure we’ve thought it through, but in the meantime Ben’s going to run it by them because it’s an opportunity to gain a few more sessions of consultant cover each week, so actually he’s really on board with it, especially as you’re a woman. And it means we’d both earn more if we did the extra hours. Would you be up for that?’
‘Yes, I don’t see why not. It all sounds really positive,’ she said. ‘And in the meantime I can look after the children so you can get back to work at least most of the time, and we’ll just have to rub along somehow. It’ll give them time to settle into a routine, and you’ll know Tilly’s safe even if she’s not overjoyed with the situation.’
‘And if the Trust says no?’
She shrugged. ‘Then I’ll have to look for another job or go back to my old one, and you’ll have to put Tilly into childcare, but let’s just hope it doesn’t happen.’
There was a long silence, punctuated by the creak of the swings, and then he said, ‘Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Em? Because I don’t want to set this all up and then you change your mind because it’s too big a commitment or you want your own space back—or even your old job, because it’ll be gone, so it has massive implications, especially for you. If we can do this, it’ll be great, but I want you to be absolutely sure before it goes any further because there’s no way back to where we are now, for either of us.’
She met his eyes, read the conflicting emotions of hope and concern, and shut the lid on her doubts.
‘I am sure,’ she said, to convince herself as much as him. She owed Jake so much, and if she could do this for him and make it work, it would go at least some way towards repaying him. She wouldn’t even think about failing, because it wasn’t an option. It couldn’t be.
His eyes held hers. ‘Honestly?’
‘Honestly,’ she said, her voice firmer now. ‘If the Trust says yes, I’ll move in with you properly and let my house, but in the meantime Zach will have a chance to get used to you before I need to leave him. Don’t worry, Jake. We’ll get there.’
‘We could split the house, if you’d rather. It’s easy with the bathrooms, I’ll just use the shower room, but if you want your own floor, or a separate sitting room—’
‘I don’t. If you do, just say the word and we can sort it out, but as I’ve told you, I like the company.’ She smiled at him. ‘And sure, you’ve got a few irritating habits, but I’ll just have to turn a blind eye to those.’
‘Irritating habits?’
His voice was indignant, but his eyes were smiling, and she stretched up and kissed his cheek and felt it dimple under her lips. He smelt of soap and Jake with a hint of chocolate muffin, and there was something vaguely disturbing about it.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll soon get you trained,’ she quipped, and gave Zach’s swing another little push while she tried to work out why her heart was beating just that little bit faster.
* * *
He downloaded the job-share protocol and applications forms from the Trust intranet once the children were in bed, and after they’d finished eating they sat at the dining table scrolling through all the endless pages.
‘I hate this kind of stuff,’ he muttered, as if she was having such a great time.
‘Whereas I just love it,’ she mocked, rolling her eyes. ‘Do you have a copy of your timetable?’
‘Yeah, I’ll print it and we can squabble over who does what. And don’t even think about dumping me with all the routine gynae.’
‘It says in the protocol—’ she began, but he threw a pen at her and disappeared to the study, leaving her grinning. She’d forgotten what fun he was to be around, even when he was grumpy. Forgotten what fun was, even, but her enduring memory of their time at uni had been laughter, and Jake had been at the centre of that, always.
It seemed so long ago now...
She was just reading through Points to consider when becoming a job-sharer when he came back, dropped three copies of the timetable and a packet of highlighter pens down in front of her and opened the fridge.
‘This calls for wine,’ he said, and sat down again with two glasses, the bottle they’d started