A Baby Of His Own. Jennifer Taylor
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smiled reassuringly, thinking about all the times he’d been in this position. Reassuring parents was all part of his job and he’d always prided himself on his caring yet straightforward approach. However, he’d never fully appreciated before how stressful it must be for them to have to entrust their child to a stranger. All of a sudden, it was as though he could feel the Fishers’ fear, and it shocked him that he could empathise with them to such an extent.
‘It’s quite a simple procedure. I’ll administer a brief electric shock to Sophie’s heart. It’s done by placing two special metal paddles on the chest wall, one below her right clavicle—her collar-bone—and the other just about here…’ he pointed to his own chest ‘…over the cardiac apex. The sudden burst of electricity should restore her heart’s natural rhythm.’
‘And you’re sure it will work?’ Mrs Fisher asked desperately. ‘Sophie will be all right, won’t she?’
‘I’m very hopeful about the outcome,’ Connor said gently, wishing he could give the poor woman a cast-iron guarantee. It simply wasn’t possible to do that so he smiled at the couple as he stood up. ‘I’ll come back to see you as soon as it’s over, so try not to worry too much.’
It was the same advice he’d given to hundreds of parents over the years but as he made his way back to the high-dependency unit, he found himself wondering how he would react if Izzy was about to undergo the procedure. It didn’t bear thinking about, and it made him see that his life as he’d known it had changed for ever. Now that he had a child of his own, he would find it far more difficult to keep a rein on his emotions.
Just for a moment, he found himself wondering if he’d been right to come back to Dalverston to claim his daughter. What if he couldn’t handle the responsibility of being a parent, as Lucy had said? He didn’t want to hurt Izzy—it was the last thing he wanted to do! But how could he be sure that he would be a good father to Izzy when he had no real experience of what a parent was supposed to do? What if all his good intentions weren’t enough, and he ended up making a mess of things?
Connor took a deep breath. This was neither the time nor the place to worry about that. Right now he had to concentrate on what he did best—and save a child’s life.
It was well past seven before Lucy managed to get Izzy to sleep. Normally she had no problem settling the little girl down for the night but the change to her daily routine had obviously unsettled her.
She tiptoed from the bedroom, sighing when she saw all the toys that were strewn around the sitting-room. It had been a mad dash to get ready that morning for work. She had been intending to clear up as soon as she’d got home but she’d not had a chance because Izzy had been so fretful. However, she certainly didn’t want Connor to see the flat in this state or he really would think that she couldn’t cope!
She had just started to clear up the toys when the doorbell rang and she groaned. It was typical bad luck that he should be early when she’d wanted to be all prepared before he arrived. She went to let him in, trying to ignore the jolt her heart gave when he brushed against her as he stepped into the hall. Allowing herself to think of Connor as anything more than a threat would be a big mistake.
‘You’re early,’ she said sharply, leading the way into the sitting-room.
‘Am I?’ He checked his watch and shrugged. ‘What’s five minutes between friends?’
Lucy forbore to say anything but if he’d been trying to goad her by that comment, he’d succeeded. They weren’t friends and never would be now! Her heart suddenly lurched and she quickly battened it down. It wouldn’t help to start remembering what they had been once upon a time.
‘It looks like a tornado has hit this place.’ He smiled as he looked around the room. ‘You were always such a neat freak, too, Lucy. You used to get all uptight if I left anything out of place when I stayed overnight.’
‘Did I? I’m afraid I don’t remember.’
She bent down and quickly gathered up a handful of building blocks, refusing to be drawn into a discussion about the past. It didn’t matter what had happened then because it was all over and done with. She and Connor no longer shared their lives. The only link between them now was Izzy and if she had her way, it was a link that would be severed as soon as possible.
‘Don’t you? How strange.’ He crouched down beside her and picked up a stuffed rabbit which had one eye missing. He tossed it into the toy box then glanced at her. ‘I remember it all, Lucy, all the fun we had, all the laughter…everything.’
‘Then your memory must be better than mine obviously is.’
She stood up abruptly, unsure why he was going down this route. Did he think that he could soften her up by telling her that he remembered the time they’d spent together? They had gone out together for six months and it had been a happy time, too, probably the best time in her entire life. But if it had really meant anything to him then he would never have left her, would he?
The thought brought a rush of emotions with it and she turned away, terrified that he would see how vulnerable she felt. She’d tried her best to get over him so she could make a life for herself and Izzy, but there was no point pretending that he didn’t still have the power to affect her.
‘I’ll make some coffee,’ she said, heading towards the tiny kitchen.
‘That would be great. Thanks.’
Lucy went into the kitchen and filled the kettle then stood there while the water boiled. She couldn’t face going back until she had herself under control again. Connor might be making an effort to appear friendly but she mustn’t be fooled into thinking that it meant he would give up his quest to play a part in Izzy’s life. Once he made up his mind, he rarely changed it, so all she could do now was to protect her daughter the best way she could. He wasn’t going to break Izzy’s heart as he had broken hers.
‘THANKS.’
Connor took the mug of coffee that Lucy offered him and sat down. Now that the time had come to talk, he wasn’t sure how to begin. He didn’t want to antagonise her, but he needed to make it clear that he was determined to play an active part in Izzy’s life—with or without her consent. Her main objection seemed to stem from the fear that he would grow tired of the responsibility of being a father, so maybe he should try to reassure that he had given the situation a lot of careful thought.
‘I know it must have been a shock for you when I turned up today,’ he said, easing himself into the conversation. ‘With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that I should have got in touch with you before I left Boston.’
‘It would have been less stressful for both of us if you had done,’ she said coolly, sitting down.
Connor might have believed that she was completely in control of herself if he hadn’t noticed the way her hands trembled as she lifted the cup of coffee to her lips. His heart contracted when he realised that her composure was merely a façade. Inside, Lucy was terrified about what was happening and he hated having to put her through such an ordeal. But he didn’t have a choice. He intended to be there for Izzy, no matter what it cost him or Lucy to achieve his objective.
‘It would. And I can only apologise that I didn’t realise it sooner.’ He shrugged. It wouldn’t help his case if he let her see how nervous he felt, too. ‘However, what’s done is done and there’s no point sitting here bewailing the fact. What we have to decide now is which way we’re going to handle this. I suppose it’s a case of sorting out the logistics.’
‘Logistics?’ Lucy put her cup on the table and stared at him. ‘I’m not sure what you mean by that.’
‘Obviously, we need to work out a rota for when I can see Izzy. And when she gets a bit older then we’ll have to decide how often she can stay with me—’
‘Stay