My Secret Wish List. PENNY JORDAN
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outside his house.
‘I think you dropped this earlier,’ he tells me in the most gorgeous sexy American accent I have ever heard, as he hands me dog-eared prescription for next lot of HRT! Must have fallen out of bag when I checked tights.
Out of corner of my eye, see Georgie’s car pull up. It’s an ancient Beetle covered in many battle wounds, which she drives with total disregard for law and traffic.
Georgie gets out accompanied by Erica. Erica is inflated by v. obvious baby bulge.
I am too shocked to be able to reply coherently to neighbour, who is now walking back to his own house, whilst Georgie carefully shepherds Erica up the path.
‘We’ve got a surprise for you.’ Georgie beams as soon as they get into the house. ‘Erica is pregnant.’
Am not sure what to say, so offer weak smile.
Once in kitchen Georgie and Erica explain that the baby’s father has been chosen carefully so that baby will grow up with no sexual hang-ups. Georgie informs me that sperm donor chosen by them has incredibly high IQ, so baby will probably win Nobel prize and become an icon others will turn to for inspiration.
Erica gives me a dreamy look and adds that donor also six foot three, blond-haired, and a superb athlete.
Start to feel slightly anxious about the distinct froideur in the air as parents-to-be begin a polite and earnest discussion about the relative merits of brain over brawn. Erica gets my vote when she says there’s no reason why their son shouldn’t have both.
Further earnest discussion ensues about the colour scheme for the nursery. I put television on to catch up with soaps and give them privacy to discuss in peace, but Georgie requests that it be turned off. Apparently they are afraid of baby being contaminated by rubbishy TV programmes and are only allowing him to hear sounds that educate and enlighten him.
Must be red wine that entices me to comment that he must have found argument between them about colour of nursery very enlightening.
When Georgie sulks she looks very like Derek. Feel glad for baby’s sake that it was fathered by donated sperm.
However, immediately feel v. guilty when, after spag bol—Erica is only eating organic food from known recommended sources—Georgie announces that they want me to be an older adult member of the baby’s specially-chosen life circle of non-biological family.
Georgie and Erica ask about my plans for future. I explain about lack of money and necessity of having to get a job. Also tell them that Derek is determined to sell house.
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