Cowboy at the Crossroads. Linda Warren
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in her own glass. “Or maybe not enough,” she added reaching for the bottle on the coffee table. They were in Becca’s apartment after a big night of celebrating.
“Why aren’t I happy, Gin?” Becca asked woefully. “I just finished my residency in pediatrics. I should be happy, ecstatic. All the hard work’s behind me and now I can treat children like I’ve always planned. I don’t understand why I’m not happier.”
“Maybe you didn’t do it for yourself,” Ginger muttered. “Go to medical school, I mean.”
Becca’s head jerked up. “What are you talking about?”
“Maybe you did it for Emily and Jackson. Ever since you found out they’re your real parents, you’ve been trying to be the perfect daughter—doing everything to be the daughter they wanted. But hell, Bec, no one’s perfect. Not even you.”
“You’re drunk,” Becca said, refusing to believe a word Gin was saying. At seventeen, she’d found out that Emily, the sister she adored, was really her mother and that Rose, her grandmother and the woman she’d believed to be her mother, was not. It had been a traumatic time, but she’d adjusted.
“Maybe.” Gin hiccuped. “But the truth is a hard pill to swallow.”
“I’ve wanted to be a doctor ever since I can remember,” Becca said defiantly. “Finding out about my birth had nothing to do with it.”
“Yeah, you started saying that in first grade. I want to be a doctor like my sister. Then bam, you find out your sister’s really your mother and you have to be a doctor. There wasn’t any other choice for you.”
Becca stared at Gin with a mutinous expression. They’d been best friends since kindergarten and they knew each other better than anyone. Gin always spoke her mind, and that sometimes got on Becca’s nerves—as it did now. She hadn’t gone to medical school to please her parents. Or had she? God, she needed more champagne. She grabbed the bottle and refilled her glass.
“You’re wrong, Gin,” she murmured under her breath.
“Let me ask you a question,” Gin said as she twisted her glass. “You have a month off before you join Dr. Arnold’s practice in July. What do you plan to do with that time?”
Becca’s eyes darkened, but Ginger didn’t give her a chance to speak. She answered her own question. “I’ll tell you exactly what you’re going to do. You’ll spend that month with your parents and Scotty, like you always do. You want babies? Well, doctor or not, you don’t seem to realize you need a man to accomplish that. And you haven’t had much of a social life in the past ten years, except for Colton who’s always hanging around—like a little puppy waiting for your attention.”
“Colton and I are friends,” Becca said in a cool tone.
“I bet you haven’t even slept with him.”
“We don’t have that kind of relationship.”
“The man is forty years old, Becca. If he doesn’t want that kind of relationship, there’s something wrong with him.”
“Shut up! You’re making me angry.”
Ginger took a long swig of champagne and set the glass on the table. “Damn, that was good. Your dad doesn’t spare the bucks when he buys the bubbly.”
Becca knew what Gin was doing—changing the subject—but Becca wasn’t letting her get away with that. They had started this and they were going to finish it.
“My relationship with Colton is my business,” she snapped.
Ginger lifted an eyebrow. “Did I say it wasn’t?”
“You’re making snide remarks and I don’t like it.”
“Okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
Becca sighed. “I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Me, neither,” Ginger agreed, and stretched out on the sofa. “All I’m saying is if you want those babies, you have to do something about it. You have to have a life of your own.”
Becca settled back in her chair and didn’t say anything. She hoped she wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning, but she couldn’t shake the discontent inside her. She should be so happy. She’d finally graduated from medical school with a specialty in pediatrics, and her parents had thrown a big party to celebrate her achievement. They were proud of her and had invited all her friends and family—including Colton. When she’d first met him, she had disliked him on sight. He was intelligent, good-looking and far too sure of himself. But as she got to know him, her opinion changed, and she found that he had a softer, more vulnerable side. It was an appealing quality in such a driven businessman.
Because of Colton’s connection to her father, he spent a lot of time with her family. Did Colton think their relationship was more than friendship? Surely not. But after talking with Gin, she realized it was time to clear things up with Colton. She’d been saying that for over a year now and still hadn’t done anything about it. They’d both been so busy and…
Damn, what was wrong with her? Why was she finding fault with everything in her life? She glanced at Gin, who was now snoring into a cushion. Becca smiled. She treasured her bond with Gin and was glad they hadn’t lost touch after high school. Becca had come to Houston to live with Emily and Jackson after she’d found out they were her real parents, while Ginger had gone to secretarial school and had become a secretary to the CEO of an insurance company in Houston. They talked often, and Becca valued her opinion. That was why Gin’s words weighed so heavily.
Maybe Gin was right. She’d spent the past ten years being Emily and Jackson’s little girl. Even though she now had a medical degree, she still felt like that little girl. She had to find the woman inside, and maybe that meant leaving Houston…and her family.
How did she do that? She loved her family. As she yawned and stretched, she knew it would be one of the hardest things she’d ever have to do. But she also knew it was the only way to release this restlessness inside her—to find true happiness and all that crap. God, she’d had too much champagne. There was nothing wrong with her life. Oh, yes, there was. She wanted babies—babies with big brown eyes and…
IT TOOK BECCA TWO DAYS to recover from the hangover. She’d never drunk that much in her life, but she and Gin had really tied one on that night. It was a kind of release, she supposed. She’d worked so hard for so many years; she was exhausted, physically and mentally. A long rest and she’d be as good as new.
Gin was right about one thing, though. For a twenty-eight-year-old woman, soon to be twenty-nine, she spent too much time with her family. But she’d needed those years with Emily and Jackson and Scotty. They had connected as a family, and that was important to her. Leaving seventeen years behind hadn’t been easy, and in retrospect she realized she hadn’t. She had merged the two parts of her life, and she was happy with her relationship with Rose and Owen, her grandparents, the people who had raised her, as well as her relationship with Emily and Jackson. Then why…?
No, she wouldn’t do this. It was Monday morning and she didn’t have to go to work. It was her time off and she could do anything she wanted. Anything at all. Analyzing her life wasn’t on that list. Carrying her coffee cup, she went into the living room and sat down in her favorite chair. She started to call Gin, but realized she’d be getting ready for work. Becca would call her later.
Try as she might, she couldn’t keep her thoughts from drifting to her mother and the twists and turns in their lives. At seventeen, Emily Cooper had fallen in love with Jackson Talbert. Jackson and his father had come to Rockport, Texas, for a fishing trip. Rose and Owen, Emily’s parents, rented cottages to tourists. Since it was November, the cottages were closed for the winter months, so Owen rented them the spare room. At the time, Rose, who was forty, had just found out she was pregnant. Emily was very upset by the news. She was in high school and embarrassed by the whole situation. That was why she’d done things with Jackson she wouldn’t normally