Her Best Friend. Sarah Mayberry
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on the other hand, couldn’t tolerate silence. She was always the first to talk if there was a pause in the conversation. When they’d lived together the radio or stereo had always been on, music blaring to fill up the empty corners of the house. In the months before she’d left she’d progressed to leaving the TV on while they ate dinner. She’d claimed she found it comforting. Even though it had sometimes driven him nuts, he’d tolerated it because he’d wanted her to be happy.
Sitting next to Amy, he belatedly realized that his soon-to-be ex-wife had been hiding behind all that noise. Disguising her guilt and excitement over her affair, creating a buffer between them. And he’d been so busy bending over backward to please her that he hadn’t noticed she’d been pulling away from him.
“You okay?” Amy asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You’re frowning.”
“No, I’m not.” He made an effort to smooth his forehead.
She was silent for a beat. “Want to talk about it?”
She was sitting so close he could see the gold flecks in her eyes when she turned to look at him. He studied her long lashes, the curve of her cheek, the turned-up end of her nose. Her face was as familiar to him as his own. More so, in some ways, since he’d spent a hell of a lot more time looking at her over the years than he had looking in the mirror.
“You don’t want to hear me bitch and moan.”
“Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t mean it.”
He glanced down at his hands. “Not much to say, really.”
“Are you angry?”
“Yes. Of course I am. She cheated on me for two years. Lied to me.”
“Your pride’s hurt. You feel humiliated.” It was both a question and a statement.
He glared at her but she just cocked an eyebrow.
“Yes,” he finally said.
“Do you miss her?”
He frowned, focusing on his hands again. He’d skinned his knuckles earlier and he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the raw skin.
Did he miss Lisa? The sound of her brisk footsteps on the polished floors. Her ready laughter. Her eternal restlessness and need to go one better, one better, one better.
“Not as much as I should,” he said.
That shut Amy up. He glanced at her. She was picking at a worn patch on the knee of her jeans.
“Shocked you?” he asked.
“No. I guess. I always thought you and Lisa were happy. Whenever I visited, you always seemed to be. Which was why I was so surprised last night.”
“We were, for a while. But Lisa always wanted more. Bigger house. Better office. Faster car.”
Amy nodded. She knew Lisa almost as well as he did. She knew how ambitious Lisa had always been, how much she’d wanted to get ahead.
“And you didn’t want any of that stuff?” Amy asked.
“Sure I did. Up to a point. But there are other things in life. Family. Children. Having a life, instead of spending every freaking hour at the office or at some client function, trying to drum up more business.”
He could hear how resentful and angry he sounded. Amy didn’t need all this crap dumped on her.
“It’s okay,” she said. Reading his mind, as always.
“It’s done.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s still eating you up inside.”
He looked into her gold-flecked eyes again. Typical Amy, straight for the jugular, no messing around.
“Because I was dumb. That’s why I can’t let it go.” He hadn’t meant to say anything more, but the words were suddenly in his throat. “Because I should have said stop. Made us both look around and acknowledge what we were doing. But I played along way past the point when it wasn’t what I wanted anymore.”
“It’s not your fault, Quinn.”
“It’s partly my fault. And now I’ve got this life, this job, and I have no idea.” He clamped his jaw shut and stood. “Talk about a pity party. Next I’ll be asking you to braid my hair and lend me a tampon. Do me a favor and pretend the last few minutes didn’t happen, okay?”
She stood, as well. “I’ve seen you rolling around on the ground after being kneed in the cojones on the football field. I think I can handle a bit of existential angst.”
As always, she made him laugh. He hooked his arm around her neck and pulled her close, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head. “I appreciate the ear.”
“You know me, all ears.” She pushed away from his chest. “We’d better get back to it.”
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