Single Father Seeks.... Amy Fetzer J.
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that, she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to open that can of worms.
“It’s breathtaking,” she said into the silence. “Did you grow up here?”
“Yes. Me and my sister Hope. She lives closer to town.” Bryce looked off at the marsh. “There are gators in there occasionally. If you go near, be careful.”
“I understand.” She kept her gaze on the landscape as they strolled around the pool deck. “The décor is lovely, Bryce. Who did it? Your wife?”
He looked at her sharply. “No, my mother. I didn’t live here with Diana.”
She propped Carolina on her hip and said, “Diana, huh?”
The mention of his wife’s name set him suddenly on edge. “I wasn’t married to her when you and I met.”
Her brows shot up. “I didn’t think you were.” A pause and then, “So what happened to her?”
A surge of guilt pounded through Bryce at the thought of his late wife, and what he’d done to her life. He didn’t want to talk about Diana. Especially not with Ciara. Somehow, if he did, it felt as if he were hurting Diana more than he already had.
At his hesitation she added, “If it’s too painful and you’d rather not…”
“Yes, it is painful, but—” He gave Ciara the minimum. “She died when Carolina was born. She had gestational diabetes. The pregnancy was very difficult. Toxemia and the diabetes caused her death.”
Ciara heard the anger building in his voice. And the torment in his features. He must have loved his wife deeply, she thought. To lose his wife and then be forced to care for a newborn alone, how hard it must have been for him.
In the ensuing silence, she watched him stare out over the marsh, his handsome features twisted with anger and the echo of old pain.
“And while we are on the subject, let’s get one thing straight right now,” he said, grinding the words past clenched teeth. He faced her, his hands on his hips, his entire stance as belligerent as a man about to do battle. Something had changed in him in those few seconds, with those few words. Gone was the sexy man she knew, the man needing help with his child, and before her stood a guardian. Guarding what, she didn’t know.
“I’m listening.”
“I’m not looking for a replacement.”
She blinked. “I’m not looking to be one.” She had a career to return to, a job that meant changing the world.
“Carolina is my concern. She needs someone who is here when I’m not. She needs…mothering.”
Oh lord, Ciara thought. Baby-sitting yes, but mothering? After years with the CIA, she was the farthest thing from a mother type. Was she out of her league with this job? Too late to back out now, she thought, remembering how she’d badgered Katherine into giving her this position. Take it like an undercover assignment, she thought, a masquerade. “I can handle it.”
He eyed her. “I know you’re bonded and trained, but that has little to do with caring for my daughter.”
“I should say so.” Did he think she was completely incapable?
Silence. Hard and biting as they stared.
She squared off with him, wondering why he was suddenly so defensive. “Why don’t you just say what’s on your mind, Bryce? Get it off your chest right now.”
“I don’t trust you.” There was just too much mystery surrounding her. The fact that she was back in his life, in this position, was enough to make him cautious.
“You did enough that night.” Instantly she hated herself for bringing up their past.
“That was five years ago. I was single without a care except who was looking funny at the former first lady. And that night was just about us. Now it’s about Carolina.” He shook his head. “My life is completely different. I’m not the same man.”
“Well, here’s a news flash, Ashland. I haven’t changed. I’m not the mother type. I’ll do my level best for Carolina while I’m here, but don’t expect what I can’t give.”
Bryce recognized her look. Her features shuttered so quickly he felt it like a cold breeze. It was the same look she’d given him in the hotel room when she’d come out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to leave. All traces of the passion they’d shared were erased.
That she could hold his baby in her arms and could call on this emotionless look, added to his suspicions. “What were you doing in Hong Kong?”
“Embassy work.” It wasn’t a lie, she thought, just not the whole truth. “Now can I have a say?”
He nodded.
“What happened between us was a one-time thing. One time. This is a coincidence, a one in a million chance. Deal with it. I need the job, and you and Carolina need me. Let’s just leave it at that, okay, boss?”
“My daughter needs you, not me.”
“Thanks for clarifying that,” she said. “I was having visions of weddings and receptions already.”
Her delivery was cold and sarcastic. Bryce didn’t like it.
“And while we’re drawing battle lines, if I’d wanted more after Hong Kong, I would have looked you up again,” she said. “Really great sex doesn’t mean I want a lifetime.”
His features yanked taut.
“Have I made myself clear?”
He nodded. “Fine. We understand each other.”
“Not by a long shot, Ashland.”
Bryce’s lips tightened.
She arched a brow. Let him stew, she thought. She wouldn’t be revealing anything about herself or her past, and that one night with him had nothing to do with the present. Except to remind her that while his life had changed and grown, hers hadn’t. All that was different was the one mistake she’d made. Trusting the wrong man. The instant she thought of her partner and the magnitude of his betrayal, Ciara knew she couldn’t trust her feelings. About anything. She’d botched it up badly by not seeing what was there, and with Bryce, she had to remember the price of loving—no, not love, the price of getting involved with someone had only rewarded Ciara with heartache. Besides she had to lie to him, she had to keep her real life secret. Involving him in any part of her career or the knowledge of it could bring harm to him or this sweet baby. She would never allow that to happen. She’d vanish first. Her job was to protect her country’s interests—and its people were under that umbrella.
Even if it was raining where she stood.
“I’ll put your bags in your room,” Bryce said, effectively ending this standoff, “and your car in the garage.”
She fished in the pocket of her jeans and tossed him the keys, glad she’d cleared the rental car of anything that bore her real name. “I’ll be with your daughter.” She turned sharply and headed back into the house.
“Where are you going?”
“The sun is too hot for her without a bonnet and sunblock, and she’s tired.”
Bryce silently approved and followed, then frowned at her back as she walked briskly through the house toward the foyer. Though she held his daughter gently, allowing Carolina to grab onto her ponytail, he could feel the remoteness about Ciara. It was as if she had an invisible wall around her now.
He didn’t blame her, really. And it was better for him all around. But for his daughter? Though her actions toward his baby so far were tender, Bryce wondered if she’d deny Carolina her affections because of him.
It was another reason not to trust her.
He’d have to keep an eye on her for the next few days.
And