Adopted Parents. Candy Halliday
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point there’s no way to tell if Ahn is going to need additional counseling and therapy on a long-term basis.”
She looked back down at the form. “Are you open to out-of-state applicants?”
“I’d prefer in-state applicants,” Hallie said. “Or at least applicants who live in and around our neighboring northeastern states. I’m retaining my right to stay in touch with Ahn after the adoption. The less distance between us, the easier that will be.”
Dr. Langston was bold enough to say, “Really? That surprises me since you’re so determined to have a nanny.”
“I may not be the mommy type, but Ahn is my niece. The adoption isn’t going to change that as far as I’m concerned.”
Dr. Langston finished making her notations on the form. “That concludes the questionnaire,” she said, handing the form across the desk. “And for what it’s worth, I think Ahn is a lucky little girl to have you for an aunt, Hallie.”
“Thank you.” Hallie stood and stuck out her hand. “And thanks for your help today.”
Deb stood and shook Hallie’s hand.
Hallie put the form in her purse and stuck the notebook under her arm then followed as Dr. Langston walked them to her office door.
“I’ve made an appointment for Ahn in two weeks,” Deb said. “With the drastic changes going on in her life right now, it’s important that you keep the appointment.”
“She’ll be here,” Nate said.
Hallie knew there were questions she should probably ask—behaviors to watch out for, or strategies to deal with Ahn’s grief—but her mind was spinning from too much information, and her head was pounding from a stress-induced headache. All Hallie wanted was out of here.
And maybe after a few hours of solitude this insane reality she was living would make sense.
CHAPTER FOUR
NATE HAD NEVER CLAIMED to be a genius. But he was smart enough to stay out of the middle of a disagreement between two strong and independent women. Only a fool would get involved once the claws came out.
So when Deb and Hallie had come down on opposite sides of the nanny debate, he’d kept his mouth shut.
Just as he was keeping his mouth shut now.
Hallie had not said a word when he’d caught up with her at the elevator. Not after she popped two aspirin into her mouth from the bottle she dropped back into her purse. Not when they’d stopped at Greg’s office to drop off the information for the adoption agency. Not during the three-block walk to the parking garage. And not when he’d opened the passenger-side door so she could climb into his Range Rover.
They were driving out of downtown Boston now, heading back to Wedge Pond. And Hallie had yet to say a word.
But Nate didn’t have to glance over at her sitting in the seat beside him to know she was chewing on her lower lip. He’d seen her do it a thousand times. Hallie always chewed on her lower lip when she was worried about something.
Nate also didn’t have to wonder what that something was. Dr. Langston’s advice about the nanny had been shocking and eye-opening—for both of them.
The question was what to do about it.
Nate tried to picture him and Hallie taking care of Ahn. He couldn’t. His inability to see it had nothing against Hallie and definitely nothing against Ahn. It was him and his decision never to have kids. He didn’t have it in him to be daddy to anyone—even on a temporary basis. But instinct told him not to discuss the issue until Hallie was ready.
Nate had no intention of doing or saying anything that might damage the truce he and Hallie had finally found. That ground was still too shaky, too new to both of them.
Besides, they weren’t used to talking to each other at all. One conversation in a bathroom wasn’t going to instantly change that. They’d have to gradually ease into a comfort zone with each other. He’d give Hallie all the space and all the time she needed until she could begin to feel comfortable around him.
Unfortunately, feeling comfortable around each other could lead to another problem. From what Greg and Deb had told them, finding new parents wasn’t going to be easy. And that meant he and Hallie could be spending far more time together than Nate ever imagined.
He was concerned about that.
Gravely concerned.
Nate almost wished he had lied to Hallie when she’d confronted him about their past. That he’d allowed her to keep thinking he was an egotistical bastard. Her disdain toward him had cancelled out his attraction to her all these years, the same as her age had stopped him from acting when they first met.
Only Hallie wasn’t a kid anymore.
She was a beautiful, desirable woman who was extremely vulnerable at the moment.
Fate had forced them together at the worst possible time. Losing David and Janet had turned their lives upside down. Thrown them completely off-kilter. Left them both floundering, uncertain what they should do first or which way they should turn next.
An affair right now would only end in disaster. They were both too unstable.
The question was, did he have the same strength he’d had ten years ago? Could he really resist Hallie if they were together day and night? Nate wasn’t sure that he could again do what was best for Hallie under the circumstances.
Nate glanced over at her.
He was surprised to see she was staring right at him.
“So?” she said. “What do you think about the nanny situation?”
He wondered if she’d be shocked to know he hadn’t been thinking about the nanny situation at all. That he’d been thinking about the things they’d done to each other in the back of that taxi.
“I don’t think we have any choice but to hire a nanny. But I can also understand Deb’s reasons for why we shouldn’t.”
“Really?” she said. “I’m amazed you heard a word she said with the amount of cleavage she was showing.”
“Is that a hint of meow in your voice?” Nate asked.
“Of course it is,” she admitted. “From a woman’s point of view, the only thing worse than another woman being so gorgeous is if she’s smart and gorgeous.”
“If that’s true,” Nate said, “then I’m sure she was thinking the same thing about you.”
She snorted. “Have you looked at me today?”
Much more often than I should have.
But Nate wisely chose not to answer. “Does your question mean you’re having second thoughts about the nanny?”
“No,” she said. “I’m having terrifying thoughts about not hiring a nanny and taking up the role as Ahn’s primary caregiver.” She waved the notebook at him. “I don’t even have to open this notebook to know how doomed Ahn would be if she had to rely on me to help progress those developmental skills Deb kept talking about. I’m not even capable of fulfilling the child’s basic needs. I don’t do diapers.”
“I don’t do diapers, either. But maybe we could compromise. We could hire a nanny to take care of Ahn’s basic needs. And one of us could take responsibility for working with Ahn on a personal level.”
“One of us meaning me,” Hallie said, “since you’ll be heading back to Afghanistan.”
Nate kept his eyes straight ahead when he said, “I’m not going back to Afghanistan, Hallie. I arranged for my replacement before I left.”
She gasped. “But why?”
Nate still didn’t look at her. “My