A Baby In The House. Pamela Bauer
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heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank God. My life is enough of a mess without having Leonie upset with me.”
“Oh, I see. It’s okay for you to have your mother upset with you but not Leonie?” she snapped.
“No, it’s not okay, but I’m not the one who hasn’t been returning phone calls this past week,” she shot back.
“I had my reasons.”
“And they would be…” she prodded.
“This hasn’t been easy for me, Kryssie.”
“And you think it has been for me?” She didn’t want to sound defensive, but that’s exactly how she felt. “You know, this really isn’t the best time to be having this conversation. I’m supposed to be getting ready for the shower. Why did you come down here today of all days?”
“Because I don’t want the next week to be like this past one has been. This nontalking has got to stop.”
“I’m not the one who hasn’t been talking!”
Aware that Dena could come home at any time and find the two of them arguing on the landing, Krystal pulled her mother by the arm into her room. She didn’t bother to ask her to sit down, but stood facing her, her hands on her hips.
Her mother stated the obvious. “I know you’re angry with me.”
Krystal folded her arms across her chest. “How do you expect me to feel? You wouldn’t even listen to me when I came to see you.” She hated the way her voice quivered when she spoke.
“I know and I’m sorry. It was just such a shock hearing that you’d done the one thing I’d prayed you’d never do. I thought I’d raised you to have values.”
“I do have values. I’m pregnant, not morally bankrupt, and if the only reason you came here was to tell me I’ve done a bad thing, I got the message loud and clear last week.” She wished she could express herself without getting so emotional, but she was dangerously close to tears. “A stinging palm on my cheek, not coming home, not returning my calls… I believe I know exactly what you think of me, Mom.”
“No, you don’t, and I am sorry. For everything, but especially for slapping you. You know how I feel about mothers hitting their children. I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I raised you and Carly by myself yet I never laid a hand on either of you. I was ashamed of what I did.”
Krystal could hear the regret in her voice, see the sadness in her eyes. “Then why did you do it?”
Linda shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it was because I saw myself in you.”
“Mom, I’m not a teenager who got caught having sex.”
“No, you’re a grown woman who should have known better.”
It wasn’t anything Krystal hadn’t said to herself a hundred times, but she didn’t need to hear those words from her mother. “You know what, Mom? I should have known better but I didn’t. I messed up.” She threw up her hands. “There. I’ve admitted it. Are you happy?”
“No, I’m not happy.”
“Well, that makes two of us because I’m not happy, either. I’m scared. Damn scared. And it would be nice if I could talk about that with my mother instead of feeling like I’m the world’s biggest loser of a daughter.” There was no stopping the tears. They flooded her eyes, shook her shoulders and wrinkled her face. She turned away, but within a few moments she felt a pair of arms around her.
Her mother pulled her close, soothing her with the same words she’d used so often when she was a child. “There, there, now. It’s going to be all right.”
“I don’t think it is, Mom. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she sobbed into her shoulder.
“You’ll figure it out,” Linda said reassuringly. “And I’ll be there to help you.”
“Do you mean that?” Krystal asked on a hiccup, straightening.
“Of course I do.” She handed her a tissue. “That’s why I’m here.”
Krystal tried to smile but failed. She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. “We shouldn’t be talking about this now. I have to get ready for the shower.”
“Then we won’t talk about it anymore,” her mother said with a maternal authority. “Now stop crying so those splotches go away.”
She glanced in the mirror and moaned. “Oh great! My eyes are all puffy.”
Her mother scrutinized her swollen lids. “Do you have any cucumbers?”
“I’m sure Leonie has some, but I don’t think I have time to sit with them on my eyes. I’ve too much to do.”
“Then we’ll have to think of something else.” Linda gave her a gentle shove. “You go get in the shower and let me get started on your to-do list. What should I do first?”
“The party favors have to be taken downstairs.” She gestured to the tray on her dresser that was covered in tiny champagne cups filled with candies. “Mom, you have to promise me you won’t mention my pregnancy to Leonie or anyone else you meet tonight.”
Linda made a sound of indignation. “Of course I’m not going to say anything.”
“Good. This is Dena’s night. I can’t seem to even mention the baby without getting weepy and if there’s one thing I don’t want to do, it’s spoil the bridal shower by being a wet rag.”
“Doesn’t anyone know about the baby?”
“Dena does, but she’s the only one. Are you planning to stay the night? You can sleep on my futon if you want,” Krystal offered.
“Why don’t I wait and see how late it is when the festivities end?”
Krystal nodded. Some of her apprehension must have shown because her mother said, “You can take that worried look off your face. I’m not going to reveal your secret. I’ve walked in your shoes and I know what you’re going through.”
“Then help me get through it. Please,” she begged, again getting weepy.
“I will, sweetie. I will,” her mother said, giving her another hug.
“And please whatever you do, don’t say anything to Leonie about the baby,” she repeated.
Linda sighed impatiently. “I’ve already told you I wouldn’t.”
Yes, she had and Krystal needed to trust her.
During the bridal shower, her mother spent most of her time in the kitchen. When it came time for the food to be served, however, Leonie insisted that she join the party and eat with everyone in the great room.
It was a long night for Krystal, not because she worried her mother would slip and mention the baby, but because of the look in her mother’s eyes as she listened to Dena talk about the wedding. It was what she’d always wanted for her daughters—the white dress, the elegant reception, the romantic honeymoon.
Later, as they cleaned up the kitchen, she knew she hadn’t imagined the wistful look in her mother’s eyes. “Bridal showers are such happy occasions, aren’t they?”
“Mmm-hmm,” Krystal agreed, rinsing plates in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher.
“It sounds as if Dena and Quinn are going to have the kind of wedding most folks only dream about.”
“I’m sure it’ll be nice.”
“She showed me a picture of her dress. It’s gorgeous.”
“I know. I was with her when she picked it out.”
“They’ve hired a live orchestra for the reception. It’s at the country club,”