The Son He Never Knew. KRISTI GOLD
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don’t know, but it couldn’t hurt.”
A rock of nausea settled in Jess’s belly. “I’ll wait and see what happens tomorrow.” If Dalton didn’t survive, she’d definitely make that call. Or if the statement didn’t go well, she might then, too.
Chase returned to the bathroom and only partially closed the door, allowing enough light to escape to keep the room from total darkness. Jess wasn’t the least bit surprised by the gesture. He’d always been considerate and thoughtful, at least when it came to her needs.
“It’s late,” he said as he crossed the room. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“I do need something,” she blurted, driven by an overwhelming blast of anxiety.
He paused with his hand poised on the light switch and faced her again. “Ask away.”
“I need you to stay with me tonight.”
His gaze slid away. “Not a good idea.”
She knew the root of his concerns—what happened the last time they’d been in bed together ten years ago. “I’m not going to touch you or ask anything more of you than your company. I just don’t want to be alone tonight. I promise I’ll stay on my side of the bed. And it’s a big bed—”
“I tend to toss and turn these days. You probably won’t get any sleep at all.”
“We’ll be restless together.” Jess despised the desperation in her voice, but then she was desperate. Desperate not to be left alone with her horrible memories. “Please, Chase. Only for a while.” The same plea from their past.
He released a sigh. “Okay.”
While Jess silently celebrated her minor victory, Chase replaced the bedding in the closet and closed the door. After he turned off the light, he sat on the edge of the mattress and kept his back to her, motionless as if preparing to join her. Or reconsidering.
Jess recalled the last time he’d done that very thing—right after he’d told her they’d made a huge mistake sleeping together and it would never happen again. Since then, nothing had been quite the same.
They’d exchanged letters often during his time away, but not once had they ever talked about that one memorable night. Not once had she asked him if he’d regretted it, because in reality, she hadn’t. She only regretted that she’d disregarded his advice and jumped into a marriage that was doomed from the beginning. At the time, she felt she’d had no choice.
A few minutes passed before he slid onto his back, his hands laced together atop his abdomen, his body as rigid as a steel beam.
“Thank you,” Jess said. “For everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been there to help me. I appreciate it more than you know.”
“No problem.”
The razor-sharp edge in his tone told Jess everything she’d asked of him was a problem, and suspected he had more on his mind than he’d let on. She should probably drop it, but some soul-deep need to clear the air drove her to turn on the bedside lamp and gain his complete attention. “Go ahead, Chase, say it.”
“Say what?” he muttered as he flipped onto his belly, his face turned toward the opposite wall.
She rolled to her side toward him. “Tell me I’m a fool again just like you did after I told you I’d married Dalton.”
He turned his head and stared at her straight on. “I never said you were a fool. I said Dalton had you fooled.”
“You’re right, but I can’t take back my mistakes.” Oh, that she could. “But I do want to make it right between you and me. We’ve never discussed that night in my dorm—”
“Not now, Jess.”
She rose up on one elbow and supported her jaw with her palm. “When Chase? We’ve skirted that topic for ten years and—”
“I said not now.” He turned his head again, making it all too clear that he was done with the conversation. Maybe even done with her.
Feeling weary and emotionally drained, Jess turned off the light and rolled away from Chase. Years ago, he would have held her close and reassured her. He would have been more than willing to provide a leaning shoulder. A swell of sadness overcame her as she silently mourned the loss of her best friend. She chastised herself for all the ways in which she’d ruined her life. Perhaps even her son’s life.
Worse still, she might find herself without a job. The good citizens of Placid could be judgmental, and if any parent in town even suspected she’d intentionally harmed her ex-husband, they’d kick her to the curb without a second thought. Not to mention, her former father-in-law served on the school board. No job meant no way to support her child other than the money Dalton grudgingly gave her.
Everything seemed so hopeless and that only fed her remorse.
As the tears began to fall, she buried her face in the pillow, tried hard not to let Chase know that she was an emotional wreck. And just when she’d begun to honestly believe they would never be able to repair their relationship, she felt the mattress bend and Chase’s strong hand engulfing hers.
“You’re going to be okay,” he whispered. “Danny’s going to be okay, too.”
Jess couldn’t respond but she didn’t need to. And although he only held her hand for a few moments, it seemed enough to get her through, at least tonight. Tomorrow would be another story.
THE SHRILL BUZZER JARRED JESS out of sleep and her eyes snapped open. Confused, she took a few moments to survey the room in order to acclimate to the surroundings. As she finally recalled exactly where she was, and why, she resisted the urge to pull the covers back over her head and hide away from the world. She reached out and felt the space beside her only to discover that Chase had apparently left the bed before the annoying alarm sounded. How he could be up so early was beyond her. He’d thrashed about most of the night, taking the blanket with him and rousing her from sleep that had come in fits and starts. During those awake times, she’d checked on Danny twice and with great relief, had found him soundly sleeping. If only she could say the same for herself.
Recognizing what awaited her in a matter of hours—a trip to the sheriff’s department to present her written statement—Jess decided to get up and get it over with as quickly as possible. She climbed from the bed, grabbed a robe and slipped it on as she made her way to the guestroom to tell Danny good morning. When she came upon only an empty bed, a swell of dread weighted her chest and robbed her breath.
Panic sent her on a fast clip into the kitchen where she thankfully found the missing deputy and her son. They sat at the breakfast table, both bent over a bowl of cereal—the kind with the fruity marshmallows that made her queasy just thinking about them. Neither seemed to notice her presence as she watched the pair for a few more minutes. She’d envisioned this scene many times throughout the years—her one-time best friend and her precious boy getting to know each other. Yet the picture-perfect scene was only an illusion. Her entire life to this point had been an illusion, and that wouldn’t end today.
Jess approached her son from behind and ruffled his tousled blond hair. “Time for you to get a trim, Danny.”
He didn’t bother to look up from the bowl or offer a response. She sent Chase a forlorn look before checking the clock on the wall. “What time are we supposed to do this?”
He took a drink of coffee before pushing the cup aside. “I figure in an hour or so we’ll head down to the department for the interviews.”
“Interviews” meaning both she and her child. Not if she could help it.
Jess touched Danny’s shoulder to garner his attention. “Why don’t you go wash up and get dressed?”
He sent her only a fast glance before scooting back from the table and carrying his empty bowl to the sink. Funny, she usually had to ride him to