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sure if it was out of deference to her memory loss, and he had no wish to frighten her, or if this was simply the normal course of their relationship.
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and nibbled absently. The idea that this could be ordinary bothered her. Surely she hadn’t desired marriage with someone who treated her so politely, as though she were a stranger.
And yet, for all intents and purposes, they were strangers. At least he was to her. A flood of sympathy rolled through her. How awful it had to be for him to have his fiancée, a woman he loved and planned to marry, just forget him, as though he never existed. She couldn’t imagine being in his shoes.
He’d watched her closely through breakfast, and she knew she must be broadcasting her unease, but he said nothing until he’d cleared their dishes away and taken her into the living room. He settled her on the couch and then sat next to her, his stare probing.
“What is concerning you this morning, Marley?” Chrysander asked.
His gaze passed over her face, and his expression left her faintly breathless.
“I was just thinking how perfectly rotten this whole thing must be for you.”
One eyebrow rose, and he tilted his head questioningly. He looked surprised, as though it were the last thing he’d expected her to say.
“What do you mean?”
She looked down, suddenly shy and even more uncertain. He reached over and touched his fingers to her chin. He slid them further underneath and tugged until she met his gaze.
“Tell me why things are so horrible for me.”
When put like that, it sounded ridiculous. Here was a man who could have, and probably did have, anything he wanted. Power, wealth, respect. And yet she presumed to think it was so terrible that his mousy fiancée couldn’t remember him. It would have been enough to make her laugh if she hadn’t felt so forlorn.
“I was trying to imagine myself in your place,” she said sadly. “What it feels like when someone you love forgets you.” His thumb rubbed over her lips, and a peculiar tingling raced down her spine. “I think I would feel…rejected.”
“You’re worried that I feel rejected?” Faint amusement flickered in his eyes, and a smile hovered near the corners of his mouth.
“You don’t?” she asked. And did it matter? She hated this lack of confidence. Not only was her memory of this man stolen, but any faith she had in who she was to him had been erased, as well. She hated the idea that she couldn’t speak of their relationship frankly because she worried that she might make errant assumptions and look a fool.
Embarrassment crept over her cheeks, leaving them tight and heated as he continued to stare at her.
“You cannot help what happened to you, Marley. I don’t blame you, and neither do I harbor resentment. It would be petty of me.”
No, she couldn’t see him as petty. Dangerous. A little frightening. But not petty. Was she afraid of him? She shivered lightly. No, it wasn’t him she was afraid of. It was the idea that she could have been so intimate with a man such as him and not remember it. She couldn’t imagine ever forgetting such an experience.
“What happened to me, Chrysander?” A note of pleading crept into her voice. Her hands shook, and she clenched them together to disguise her unease.
He sighed. “You had…an accident, pedhaki mou. The doctor assures me your memory loss is only temporary and that it’s imperative for you not to overtax yourself.”
“Was I in a car accident?” Even as she asked, she glanced down, searching for signs of injury, bruising. But she had no muscle soreness, no stiffness. Just an overwhelming fatigue and a wariness she couldn’t explain.
His eyes flickered away for the briefest of moments. “Yes.”
“Oh. Was it very serious?” She raised a hand to her head, feeling for a wound.
He gently took her hand and lowered it to her lap, but he didn’t relinquish his hold. “No. Not serious.”
“Then why…how did I lose my memory? Did I suffer a concussion? My head doesn’t hurt that way.”
“I’m very glad your head doesn’t pain you, but a head injury isn’t what causes memory loss.”
She cocked her head to the side and stared at him in puzzlement. “Then how?”
“The physician explained that this is your way of coping with the trauma of your accident. It’s a protective instinct. One meant to shield you from harmful memories.”
Her forehead wrinkled as her eyebrows came together. She pressed, trying to struggle through the thick cloak of black in her mind. Surely there had to be something, some spark of a memory.
“Yet I wasn’t harmed,” she said in disbelief.
“A fact I’m very grateful for,” Chrysander said. “Still, it must have been very frightening.”
A sudden thought came to her, and her hand flew from his in alarm. “Was anyone else hurt?”
Again his gaze flickered away from her for just a second. He reached up and recaptured her hand then brought it to his lips. A soft gasp escaped her when he pressed a kiss to her palm. “No.”
She sagged in relief. “I wish I could remember. I keep thinking if I just try a little harder, it will come, but when I try to focus on the past, my head starts to pound.”
Chrysander frowned. “This is precisely why I do not like to discuss the accident with you. The doctor warned against causing you any upset or stress. You must put the incident from your mind and focus on regaining your strength.” He placed his other hand over her abdomen and cupped the bulge there protectively. “Such upset cannot be good for our baby. You’ve already gone through too much for my liking.”
She tugged her hand free and placed both of hers lightly over his hand that was still cupping her belly. Beneath his fingers, the baby rolled. He snatched his hand back, a stunned expression lighting his face.
Her brows furrowed as she gazed curiously at him. His hand shook slightly as he returned it to her stomach. His fingers splayed out, and once again her belly rippled underneath his palm.
“That’s amazing,” he whispered.
He looked so completely befuddled that she had to smile. But on the heels of that smile came confusion. He acted as though he’d never experienced their baby kicking.
She licked her lips and cursed the fact that she couldn’t remember. “Surely you’ve felt it before, Chrysander.”
He continued his gentle exploration of her stomach. It was a long moment before he spoke. “I was often away on business,” he said with a note of discomfort. “I had only just returned when I learned of your accident. It had been…a while since we’d been together.”
She let her breath out, relief sliding over her and lightening her worry. If they had been separated for a time, it would explain a lot.
“I don’t suppose it was the homecoming you expected,” she said ruefully. “You left a woman who knew you, who was pregnant with your child and planned to marry you. When you came back, you faced a woman who treats you like a stranger.”
She glanced down at her finger automatically as she spoke. No ring adorned it. She frowned at it before she quickly looked back up, trying to make the uneasiness disappear once more.
“I was only happy that you and our baby were unharmed,” he said simply. He eased away from her, shifting his body until more space separated them. His gaze still drifted back to her belly as though he was fascinated with the tiny life making itself known there.
A buzz sounded, and Chrysander stood and strode to the call box on the wall. Marley strained to hear who he was speaking to, but she only heard his command to come up.