Best Of My Love. Сьюзен Мэллери
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just saying that to be a good friend. I’m going to accept the compliment and hold it close to my heart.”
“As you should.”
Shelby went into the back and pulled out several large plastic bins, where the pastries that hadn’t sold were stored. After selecting an assortment, she piled them onto a plate before starting the small coffeemaker the employees used. She collected mugs and napkins, then took everything to the front of the bakery.
Light spilled in through the big window. Despite the chill in the air, the day promised to be sunny. The mountains to the east reminded her of Colorado—where she and her brother had grown up. Those had been fun, happy times, she reminded herself. More good than bad, at least when she’d been younger. Eventually the bad would fade and she would be left with only positive recollections.
She sat across from Madeline and studied her friend. Madeline’s eyes were bright with love and contentment and her skin practically glowed.
“Being in love agrees with you,” Shelby told her.
“I feel amazing. Like I’ve been waiting for Jonny all my life. When I’m with him, I can barely breathe and when I’m away from him, I can’t wait to see him again.”
“Young love,” Shelby said with a sigh. “I remember it well.”
Madeline laughed. “Oh, please. You’re twenty-eight, which means you don’t get to mock young love.”
“I wasn’t mocking. I was expressing gentle envy. I’m happy for you and I’d like a little of that myself.” She paused, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Not with Jonny, of course.”
“I knew that.”
Shelby stood. “Let me go pour the coffee, then we’ll eat sugary carbs until we can’t move.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Madeline followed her into the back. “You doing okay?”
The question sounded casual enough, but Shelby sensed the concern. Her friend had found her crying the Sunday after Christmas. She’d been phoning and texting regularly ever since.
“I’m fine. Better. I was just missing my mom.”
Shelby poured them both large mugs of coffee. Madeline added creamer to hers, then they walked back to the small table by the window.
“The holidays are hard,” Shelby admitted. “I always miss her, but it’s worse this time of year.”
“It’s your second year without her, isn’t it?”
“Uh-huh.”
Last year had been worse. She’d been in a new place, on her own. Kipling had still been in rehab after his skiing accident. She’d flown down to spend Christmas with him, then had returned to Fool’s Gold and her job. But through the entire holiday season, she’d been acutely aware of the fact that except for her brother, she had no one in the world. Something she wanted to change.
Madeline’s blue eyes turned knowing. “So last Christmas you were dealing with a fresh loss, while this year, you’re more settled. But Kipling’s married now, with a baby on the way, so everything is still different.”
“Possibly.”
“I’ll take that as a yes. How can I help?”
“You already are helping by being my friend.”
Madeline grinned. “But that’s so easy.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Shelby picked up a peanut butter cookie. Even a couple of days old, they were still soft and sweet, with the perfect hint of crispness. The bite she took practically melted on her tongue.
“So,” Madeline said as she leaned forward. “Have you decided? Are you going to go for it?”
Shelby thought about the alternative. Always making a bad decision for the very best of reasons. She wanted more. Of course, feeling safe was important, but she’d meant what she said before—she wanted what her friend had. A wonderful man to love who would love her in return. But to find that, to even start looking, she had to get over her fears.
Baby steps, she reminded herself. First a man as a friend, then a man as a significant other.
Shelby drew in a breath. “I’m going to do it,” she said firmly.
Madeline’s brows rose. “Seriously? Good for you. Have you picked the guy?”
“Aidan Mitchell.”
Her friend’s brows went up another half inch as Madeline’s mouth fell open. “Aidan?”
Shelby nodded. “Did you hear what happened last night?”
“With Aidan? No. What?”
Shelby filled her in on the incident at The Man Cave. She’d heard a couple of different versions before getting confirmation from Aidan himself. She spared no detail of the poor woman’s distress and Aidan’s hungover self-loathing.
“So why is what happened a good thing?” Madeline asked, sounding doubtful.
“Because he feels awful about the whole situation. He’s disappointed in himself and he says he wants to change.”
For her plan to work, she was going to need cooperation. “When you think about it, he’s kind of in the same position I am. We both want to be better people than we are now.”
“No,” Madeline said, interrupting. “You want to deal with something bad that happened in your past. He wants to stop being icky when it comes to women. There’s a difference.”
“Agreed, but we’re both still heading in the same direction. What do you think?”
She wanted Madeline’s opinion for a lot of reasons. Not only because she trusted her friend, but Madeline had grown up in Fool’s Gold. She’d known Aidan all her life. If he had a dark or violent past, Madeline would tell her everything.
Her friend reached for a cookie and took a bite before answering.
“If he’s serious about changing his ways, then he’s a good choice. He was always nice. You know, in a guy way.” Madeline’s mouth turned up. “What about sex?”
Shelby rolled her eyes. “I’m not interested in sex. That part of me isn’t broken.”
“What if he needs the incentive?”
“I don’t think he will. Not after what happened last night. This isn’t about romance. It’s about something more important. Both of us healing. For me, it’s my heart. Or maybe my trust. I’m not sure how to explain it exactly. I just know that being friends, not lovers, is the answer.”
“Good luck getting him to go for that.”
“He says he wants to be a better man,” Shelby said, not sure if she was convincing the other woman or herself. “If he is, then this is one way for that to happen.” She bit her lower lip. She was taking a big step, but there didn’t seem to be another way. “So you think he’s an okay guy?”
“I do.”
“Then I’m going to ask him if he’s interested.”
“Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall. You’ll tell me what happens?”
“Absolutely. I think he’s going to be fine with it. We’ll help each other and then move on with our lives.”
“The road to hell,” Madeline murmured.
Aidan had used the same expression that morning, Shelby remembered. Intentions were practically resolutions. She had hers for the New Year. A plan to finally put her past behind her and move forward with her life. Now all she needed was a willing partner and in a matter of months everything would be exactly how she’d always dreamed.