Feels So Right. Isabel Sharpe
Читать онлайн книгу.
strong jaw had turned to stone, she knew she was hurting him. But since, in his typically caveman way, he was having trouble accepting the idea of Bonnie with someone else, she might as well be blunt, even if it seemed cruel.
And frankly, she’d spent the better part of the past nearly two years since moving into this building watching Seth parade around with one stunning woman after another, so she couldn’t say she was totally dying of sympathy. Maybe now he’d start cluing into what her life had been like so many times after he left her. Not that she’d ever want to be vindictive about this. Just pay him back a little. Which was different. Sort of.
“I was wondering.” He had his hands in his pockets and was looking down at her with that magnetic gaze that used to regularly set her on fire. “If you wanted to have dinner sometime. Maybe Friday? Either out or at my place?”
She gaped at him, heat flooding her face. Never in the five years since they’d broken up had he ever issued an advance invitation like this, as if he was asking her on a formal date. In fact, not even while they were dating. Their plans were always made last-minute. Hey, let’s do this, let’s do that, here’s what I feel like, how about you?
“Wow. Seth, that is really sweet. And you are the world’s greatest cook. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why?” He put his hands on his hips, which seemed to broaden his chest, make his proximity even more intimate. “Did you and Don agree not to see other people?”
“No, no.” She laughed nervously. “A little too soon for that.”
“So you’re open to dating other men?”
“Well, yes, but, Seth—”
“Am I not a man?” He glanced down at his pants suspiciously. “I’m pretty sure I qualify.”
Did he ever. “Seth, come on. It’s different with you and me.”
“How about if it wasn’t?”
She frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
He took a deep breath, clearly struggling. “How about if we erased everything and started over? You and me. A first date.”
She narrowed her eyes. What was this about? He’d told her a couple of months ago that he was starting therapy, to learn why he was resisting her. Had his invitation evolved from that process?
“I’m sorry, Seth, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“You afraid?” His eyebrow quirked; he was already gaining confidence, knowing how much she hated that particular taunt.
“Of you?” She threw out a loud and unconvincing “Ha!”
“Prove it. Have dinner with me.” He was too close, the pull of his body undeniable. “Upstairs, my place, Friday night.”
He was right. She was afraid. Terribly afraid. Afraid of falling for him again. Afraid of being hurt. She’d come such a long way, had worked so hard to be at peace around him. No way was she going back to vulnerability and pain. He and his therapist might like the idea of starting over, but you couldn’t chuck as much baggage as they had just by wanting to.
“Sorry, can’t.”
“You mean won’t?”
Bonnie nodded brusquely, lump the size of Cleveland in her throat, wanting to have dinner with him, hating that she did and that he was making her choose yet again. “Won’t.”
“I was planning to make shepherd’s pie. With chocolate hazelnut cheesecake for dessert.”
She glared at him. “You like to fight dirty.”
“Seven o’clock?”
“I’m not coming.”
“Think about it.”
She rolled her eyes. When he got like this, he wouldn’t let go. Probably because he sensed her hesitation, sensed her slight weakness. Seth knew her way, way too well, and having grown up extremely wealthy, he was used to getting what he wanted. Though his parents had skimped on the things that really mattered, like love and attention. “I won’t change my mind.”
She saw the triumph in his eyes. He thought he had her.
If he was talking about the chocolate hazelnut cheesecake, he might be right as far as her appetite went. The rest of her? He couldn’t have that. She was keeping that safe. Safe for a new man and for herself.
TEARS RAN DOWN Demi’s cheeks, which she bravely ignored. She and Wesley were sitting at her kitchen table shoveling in mouthfuls of the incendiary Noodles from Hell from their favorite Thai restaurant. They both adored and suffered through the dish, though they considered it a badge of honor not to wince or admit to the chili-induced agony. Demi had bought Wesley his drink at Joe Bar, and they’d come back here for dinner and dessert, in the mood for some edible torture.
“So tell me something.” Demi cheated just a little by pushing aside a particularly large chunk of red bird’s-eye chili pepper. Big difference between brave and suicidal. “Why is it that men are considered strong if they don’t show emotion? Who decided that was masculine?”
“Hmm.” Wesley stifled a gasp and poured half a beer down his throat. “If I had to answer that …”
“Which you do because I asked.”
“I’d say because children have no control over emotions and women have less control than men. Women and children are weak and need protecting—” He held up his hand to stop Demi’s outrage. “Calm down, I’m speaking biologically.”
“Okay …” She grudgingly let him continue.
“So in order to be least like women and children—in other words, the most masculine—men have to be strong and emotionless.”
“Doesn’t that seem stupid to you?”
“Extremely.” He ate another mouthful, chewing cautiously. “If it was up to me, we’d change it. But for some reason it isn’t.”
Demi frowned at him, thinking he looked better and stronger every time she saw him. “We need to put you in charge, Wesley. Of the globe. Would you mind?”
His blue eyes went wide. “Could I still have ice cream?”
“Absolutely.” She took a sip of beer and pushed her plate away, tired of her dinner giving her first-degree burns. “How did you escape the Culture of Macho?”
“I wouldn’t say I escaped.” He rubbed a hand thoughtfully through his thick, dark hair. “Though I did cry during one of our appointments.”
“I remember.” She reached to squeeze his hand. “Nearly broke my heart.”
“Softie.”
“Me? I’m hard as nails. But we were talking about you.”
“As we should be.” He smiled his easy, dynamite smile. “I had three sisters, for one. And my dad was emotional. He was also crazy about my mom and we got to see that. He cried when he was really sad, and acted as if that was completely normal.”
“Which it is.”
“He helped around the house in nontraditional ways, too.”
“My dad didn’t do squat. My sister-in-law is finding out what that’s like, too, since my brother takes after him.” She gestured to Wesley with her beer. “Your wife will be one lucky woman.”
“So will your husband.” He laughed at the sight of her startled face. “Scared you, huh.”
“Husband? Husband?” She clutched at her chest. “I’m too young. Husbands are for grown-ups.”
“In some cultures twenty-eight would make you a hopeless spinster.”
“I’d