Hero Dad. Marta Perry
Читать онлайн книгу.
Or maybe she was simply happy to be walking across a field with Seth, watching his son romp through the grass.
Seth’s attitude toward her seemed to have changed, and she wasn’t sure why. She just knew that slightly edgy watchfulness of his had eased. He accepted her.
“A birthday’s pretty special when you’re that age.” His voice seemed to warm. “Will you still be around then? We’d like to have you come to the party, if so.”
“I’ll probably be here another week, at least.” She said it carefully, fearful of making a commitment she wouldn’t be able to keep. “I’d love to come to Davy’s birthday party, if you’re sure you want me.”
“Well, who wouldn’t want a professional photographer at a kid’s birthday party?” He caught her hand in his, swinging it lightly. “We might actually end up with some pictures we can see, instead of Ryan’s out-of-focus blobs.”
“No blobs, I promise.” She felt ridiculously lighthearted. The warmth of Seth’s hand seemed to extend right up her arm.
An outrageous thought flickered tantalizingly through her mind. What if she told him? What if she came right out and told him she was Lisa’s sister? He seemed to be accepting her. Maybe he could accept that. If Lisa had told him about her family—
The thought stopped there. She didn’t know what Lisa had told him. She only knew what Lisa had told her.
A spasm of pain gripped her heart. She hadn’t heard anything from Lisa after that letter saying she was getting married. She hadn’t known about Davy.
She hadn’t even known about Lisa’s death until she’d realized Lisa hadn’t drawn any funds from the trust she administered for her. That had roused her concern enough to make her hire the private investigator to find her.
“See, Julie?” Davy danced in front of the pasture fence, waving his arms. “See?”
“I see.” She shaded her eyes. “I see the donkey and the goat, but what are those other things?”
“Don’t you recognize a horse when you see one, city girl?” Laughter filled Seth’s voice. He leaned against the split-rail fence, propping his elbows on it.
“Okay, they do look like horses, but they’re no bigger than Max is.”
She leaned against the railing next to him. He moved closer, tilting his head toward her. The sunlight brought out red highlights in his brown hair. He’d folded back the sleeves of the flannel shirt he wore, and the light gilded his skin.
“Miniature horse is the correct term, I understand. Nolie has started training them.”
If he kept using that soft, laughing tone with her, she was in big trouble. “For what? The circus?”
“Believe it or not, she hopes to use them instead of dogs for people who are blind. She says the breed of horses is intelligent and longer-lived than dogs, and should make good guides.”
“Seeing-eye horses. Well, I guess that’s no more astonishing than anything else I’ve seen around here. Nolie’s Ark, according to the sign.”
“She wanted to change it when she and Gabe got married, but he wouldn’t agree. He says Nolie’s Ark gave him back his life, and he won’t have the place called anything else.”
Davy was swinging on the bottom rail of the fence, crooning a song softly to himself as he watched the animals.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass your brother by mentioning the dog the other day. I didn’t know about his disability.”
“You didn’t embarrass him. He’s adjusted to it now. At first—” Seth’s face sobered. “When it looked as if Gabe couldn’t fight fire any more, we didn’t know what to do to help him. Then Nolie gave him a reason to go on living.”
She shivered in spite of the warmth of the September sun. “That could have been you.”
She regretted it as soon as the words were out. He’d closed her out before when she’d mentioned the dangers of a job like his for a single father.
“I guess it could have.” He stared absently at the goat, which seemed to be trying to eat its way through the fence. “You can’t think about results like that on the job or you’d be worthless. To fight fire, you need a certain belief in—well, your own invincibility, I guess.”
She thought again of the way he’d stepped in to put the heavy ladder up, casually confident in his body’s ability to do what was needed. She had to admit, that air of confidence was very compelling.
“But you have a son.” She couldn’t hold the words back. “If something happened to you—”
He shrugged, pressing his arm against hers and sending another wave of warmth flooding her. “Every firefighter faces that. In my case, I’m a single father, but I do have family.” He nodded toward the picnic tables, smiling. “Lots and lots of family. If something happened to me, they’d take over.”
“And your wife?” It took an effort to keep her tone casual. “Would her family help out?”
For an instant he didn’t move, didn’t answer. Her question hung there, like the bumblebee that was poised over a flower at her feet.
“No.” His tone brought her gaze to his face, and what she saw there chilled her. “My wife had a mother who left her, a father who controlled her every move and a sister who deserted her. She didn’t want to have anything to do with her family. And neither do I.”
His words were totally implacable. All the friendly laughter had been wiped from his face. He meant what he said.
So she couldn’t tell him the truth. Ever.
Chapter Four
Julie was still struggling with Seth’s words when she arrived at the firehouse on Monday. She’d gone over and over it, and she couldn’t come to any other conclusion. If Seth knew who she was, he’d hate her.
My wife had…a sister who deserted her. Was that really how Lisa had seen Julie’s actions? Pain clutched at her heart. Was it?
She took a deep, steadying breath and willed the pain away, trying to regain her detachment. Lisa was gone, and she couldn’t change anything she’d done or neglected to do. She’d concluded a long time ago that they’d both just done what they thought was necessary to survive emotionally.
For her, that meant keeping the shield of her detachment in place. She’d finally figured out how to do that with her father, so that she could see him every month or two, like a dutiful daughter, and still come away whole.
For Lisa, surviving had meant severing the ties completely, so Julie had respected her sister’s decision. At least, she’d told herself that was what she was doing when she hadn’t attempted to stay in touch.
Had Lisa interpreted that as desertion? Seth had said so, and Seth should know.
The pain flared, like flames shooting up from dying embers. She quenched them again. This wasn’t about her pain, or her past.
This was about assuring herself that Davy was in the best situation for him. She’d take that step by methodical step, as if she was researching an article about any child.
On the surface, the answer seemed obvious. Davy had plenty of people who loved him, like the children in the books she’d read to Lisa when they were little.
She and Lisa hadn’t quite believed in those big, happy families, but the Flanagans obviously did exist.
Still, she had questions, starting with Seth’s determination to continue in what had to be a dangerous job. The Flanagans seemed to take firefighting for granted. She didn’t.
She couldn’t just accept Seth’s view that the rigorous training he and the other firefighters