Undressed by the Rebel: The Honourable Maverick. Alison Roberts
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to maintain the deception now that Ellie was back in the real world. He had to get rid of this gnawing sense of responsibility.
‘How will you know if Mouse is getting enough milk without her getting weighed every day?’
‘She won’t sleep if she’s hungry. I’ve got the bottles and formula if I need it and I’ve got the outpatient appointments for us both in two days. We’ll be fine, Max, honestly.’
‘Well, I’m only a phone call away, don’t forget. I’ll be working for the next few days to make up for the time I took off last week but it’s day shift. I’ll pop in on my way to work if it’s not too early for you and I’ll come again on my way home. I can bring you some takeaways so you don’t have to worry about cooking.’
‘You don’t—’
Max overrode her intended objection. ‘What kind of food do you like? Chinese? Indian? Burgers?’
Ellie conceded defeat graciously, with a shy smile. ‘Fish and chips. I haven’t had any for ages.’
‘There’s a little shopping centre just round the corner on the main road. About five minutes’ walk, I guess. It’s got milk and bread and all the basic stuff. Make a list and I can run down and get the things you might need for the rest of today.’
Ellie wasn’t about to agree to any more assistance. ‘A five-minute walk won’t be a problem. I’ll get sorted here and have a rest and then I’ll try out that baby sling I bought and take Mouse for her first outing.’
It was ridiculous to feel like he was being excluded from something important. What did he want? To accompany Ellie and Mouse to the shops so that people would think it was his baby? So he could feel some kind of fatherly pride?
This had to stop.
‘I’d better get back to work. My couple of hours’ cover for this morning has about run out. Text me if you need anything other than fish and chips when I’m on the way home. You’ve got my mobile number?’
‘Yes.’ Ellie was smiling again. ‘Go, Max. You’re needed at work.’
Meaning he wasn’t needed here?
This was good. One step closer to discharging the responsibility he’d taken on when Ellie had stepped into his life.
Max went. Quickly. Before he had time to register any more inappropriate reactions let alone try to analyse them.
Ellie watched the SUV pull away, leaving the space in front of her unit empty.
It felt empty inside, too. She was alone with her baby. Really alone this time. No bell to push to summon assistance. No medical staff walking past her door at frequent intervals or the familiar, safe sounds of a busy hospital.
Max would be back later, though, and Ellie was determined to show him how well she could cope. That she was worth the effort he’d already put in to helping her.
For the next few hours, Ellie coped very well. She arranged her things in the unit, which made it feel more like her own space. She made up the bassinette with the cute sheets that had little, yellow ducks embroidered on the edges. She arranged baby clothes in a drawer and positioned nappies and wipes beside the padded change mat. When Mouse woke up, she fed and then washed her, putting her into a new set of her birthday clothes. She took her daughter around the unit, telling her about every item of furniture and what grown-ups used them for and when she fell asleep again, she was happy to go into her new bassinette and Ellie flopped onto the big bed and slept deeply for some time herself.
She was woken by the sound of a television set coming on loudly next door. For a moment, she lay totally bemused by where she was and desperately wanting to simply roll over and go back to sleep but then she remembered and staggered into the bathroom to splash water on her face, hoping to wake herself up properly before Mouse needed attention or, worse, Max turned up with dinner.
The cold water didn’t seem to help much. Ellie’s legs felt like lead, her eyes were gritty and her brain distinctly foggy still. She pushed damp strands of her fringe out of her eyes as she dried her face. She was well overdue for a haircut. Maybe she should just chop it all off because finding the energy to brush it right now was just too hard. Dropping the towel, Ellie raised her gaze wearily to the mirror to consider the option.
Oh…Lord, she looked awful.
She’d lost a lot more weight than she should have by giving birth, thanks to being so ill for several days. Her face looked pale and pinched. Her hair was lank and the oversized sweatshirt that had been useful in helping disguise her pregnancy was totally swamping her now. She looked like a street kid. A homeless person. About as far from a competent new mother as it would be possible to look. It was a pathetic picture and, for a long moment, Ellie was swamped by more than the sweatshirt.
She was homeless. The future was a chasm of the unknown. She wasn’t even here under her own name and she couldn’t afford not to hide her existence. Until she escaped the country she was going to be afraid of discovery. Terrified of Marcus tracking her down. Of something happening that might separate her from her precious baby.
A door slammed upstairs and the sound of angry pounding began again. The wail of a siren could be heard from the main road advertising the urgency of some emergency situation. The tension was contagious. In a sudden panic, Ellie dashed from the bathroom. How could she have left Mouse unattended, even for a moment? Had she even locked the sliding door before she fell asleep?
Her heart pounding, she stood by the bassinette and looked down at the peaceful, innocent face of the sleeping baby. She had to fight the urge to snatch Mouse up into her arms so she hugged herself tightly instead.
Huge, hot, painful tears rolled down her face.
She wanted to be somewhere else. She wanted to feel healthy and full of energy. She wanted, more than anything, just to feel safe. To know that her baby was safe.
She wanted…Max.
Nothing felt this bad when he was close. He gave her strength. Made her feel…too much. Alive. Optimistic. Safe.
As if to underline the difference in the space she was in without Max, the noise overhead increased. There were crashing noises, an ominous moment of silence and then a cry of pain. A moment later, simultaneously, came a woman’s scream and a large, dark shape hurtled down past Ellie’s glass door.
The screaming continued but, by some miracle, it wasn’t waking Mouse. Ellie ran to make sure her door was locked but, when she tugged the net curtain aside to expose the doorhandle, she gasped in horror.
The dark shape hadn’t been a piece of furniture being tipped over the balcony, as she’d assumed. Sprawled exactly where Max had parked his car earlier was the body of a man, one jeans-clad leg at an awkward angle and a heavily tattooed arm bent under his head. Ellie could see the manager running from the motel office. The older man stopped and stared, his jaw sagging. The woman upstairs was still screaming.
The scene looked frozen. The man on the ground wasn’t moving. Neither was the motel manager. Ellie yanked her door open.
‘Call an ambulance,’ she shouted at the manager. ‘And the police.’
‘No-o-o…’ The screaming upstairs morphed into words. ‘It was an accident. I didn’t mean to. Oh, my God…Nigel…’ Ellie heard the footsteps of the woman as she ran along the balcony to the stairs, sobbing now. ‘You’re not dead. Please don’t be dead…’
Was he dead? Ellie’s blood ran cold. She didn’t want to be here with her innocent child with a dead man outside their door. The motel manager had vanished back into his office, presumably to call the emergency services. Other people were emerging from their units but they all looked unsure of what they should do. Maybe she was the only person here who had any medical training.
With a desperate glance at her sleeping baby for another heartbeat, Ellie stepped through her door and pulled it closed behind her. The least she could do was