Santiago's Love-Child. KIM LAWRENCE
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her. He never intended to. ‘He’s gone. He’s really gone for good.’
Lily absently massaged the tight skin around her temples. One problem solved—she now knew the why. She only had now to figure out how to tell him her husband was alive and well and therefore she was not available.
‘Have breakfast with me?’
‘What?’
‘Breakfast. Not here, if that’s what’s bothering you. I know a place about half an hour’s drive away. You need a four-wheel drive to get there,’ he admitted, ‘but, believe me, it is worth it. The setting is superb,’ he enthused. ‘The food is not fancy, but it’s made with fresh local produce and beautifully cooked. Luis has a huge wood-burning oven outside and you can eat alfresco.’
He seemed to take her silence as assent, because he said, ‘I’ll see you outside in, what…twenty minutes…?’ He smiled at her and then dived cleanly into the water.
‘You’re allowed to be upset, you know.’
‘What…?’ It took several seconds for Lily to drag her wandering thoughts back to the present and away from the man who had ultimately told her to go to hell.
Well, he got his wish.
Though, of course, she was post-hell now. She’d come out the other side, but would things ever get back to normal? She sometimes wondered if this was normal for her now; maybe she would carry this awful empty feeling around with her for ever…?
‘I said you’re allowed to be upset.’
A frown formed on Rachel’s crease-free forehead. ‘Are you coming down with something? You look awfully flushed.’
‘No, I’m fine,’ Lily lied. ‘It’s just warmed up this afternoon—’ she gestured towards the sun shining through the open window ‘—and this sweater is a bit—’
‘Of a disaster,’ Rachel completed. ‘I don’t mean to be brutal, but this bag-lady look doesn’t do you any favours, love.’
‘This is casual.’
‘No,’ Rachel denied brutally, ‘it is absolutely awful. Perhaps if you made a bit of an effort you might feel a bit better? If I’m down I buy a pair of shoes…’
‘Retail therapy isn’t the answer to everything.’
‘I didn’t mean to be terminally shallow,’ Rachel, who had flushed, retorted.
‘Of course you’re not shallow,’ Lily soothed, guilty for being snappy.
‘I do actually know a new pair of shoes isn’t going to fix everything, but it…Dear God, Lily, if you don’t have the right to fall apart after what has happened to you, who does? I tell you, if I’d been through what you have, losing the baby and Gordon, the total scumbag running off with that little—’
Lily did not want to talk about Gordon or his girlfriend, or the baby…especially the baby. ‘Am I falling apart?’
‘Ever so slightly maybe…Don’t you hate Gordon?’ Rachel turned her curious gaze on her friend. ‘If it was me I’d want to—’
‘Maybe I could do with a trim,’ Lily interrupted, running a hand lightly over her hair.
‘And a new pair of shoes?’
Lily grinned. ‘Don’t push it, Rachel.’ Her grin faded and she hesitantly added, ‘About Gordon—you know, he’s really not the bad guy in this.’
Rachel looked ready to explode. ‘Not the bad guy!’
‘And Olivia isn’t little.’ An image of the athletic redheaded figure of the sports psychologist her ex-husband planned to marry now their divorce was finalised flashed into her head.
‘She’s six feet in her bare feet and it was hardly a shock when Gordon asked for a divorce.’
Gordon had met her at the airport at the end of her Spanish holiday and Lily, who had been consumed with guilt and more miserable than she had thought possible, had not noticed at first that her husband had been acting oddly. She’d totally forgotten that he had a lot of explaining to do, because so had she.
He had waited until they’d got in the car to admit to her that it hadn’t been work that had stopped him joining her, but another woman.
Lily hadn’t bothered pretending to be shocked.
‘She’s called Olivia and she’s…well, the thing is, Lily, I want to be with her. I think we should get a divorce.’
‘All right.’
Gordon, who had obviously been geared up for a big scene, was gobsmacked by her reaction and slightly suspicious.
‘And you don’t have a problem with that?’
She shook her head listlessly.
‘Don’t you want to know…’ he flushed ‘…how long…?’
‘If you want to tell me.’
‘You do understand what I’m saying, Lily?’ He spoke slowly as though he were talking to a child. ‘This isn’t a fling.’
‘Not this time.’
Gordon flushed, and looked defensive. ‘Well, if you had been more…’ He stopped and made a visible effort to control himself.
She decided to move this along a bit. ‘Will there be any fallout…career-wise?’
‘I resigned.’
‘What about the promotion?’ The promotion that was all he’d been able to talk about all year.
A hint of defiance crept into her husband’s voice. ‘I realised that the civil service was stifling me. I need a change of direction.’
‘When did you decide this?’
‘I resigned two months ago.’
‘Should I ask what you’ve been doing every morning when you went off to work…and on those business trips…?’
‘Olivia and I are setting up a sports training facility in Cyprus.’
‘That’s different.’ She didn’t have to pretend total lack of interest.
‘Hell, I didn’t mean for it to happen, Lily, but you have to admit we’re not…but I don’t expect you to understand! The moment I saw her…’ he began in a low, impassioned voice.
Lily gazed through the car window not seeing the traffic streaming past. ‘Maybe I do understand.’
Gordon didn’t say so, but she could see he didn’t believe her. For a split second she was tempted to tell him that she had met someone too, and she now knew just how empty their marriage had been. She now knew that love could make a person buy very naughty underwear, and forget every principle she’d been brought up to believe in.
But there was no point. This was Gordon, who had once said comfortingly, ‘Of course you’re not frigid, you’re just not a very physical person. Don’t worry about it; not everyone is.’
The fact was Gordon thought she was a white-cotton girl. Santiago had made her feel and act like naughty black lace.
Rachel made a scornful sound in her throat. ‘Sure it wasn’t a shock—you expected your husband to leave you for his bit on the side when you were pregnant.’
Lily pushed her brown hair, which, without its normal monthly trim, had got long and uncontrollable, behind her ears. Maybe it is time to set the record straight?
‘It’s true.’ A light flush appeared along the smooth contours of her pale cheeks as she experienced an emotion close to relief as she admitted, ‘I really wasn’t surprised. Our marriage had been dead and buried for a long time before Olivia came along.’
Rachel’s