Always in My Heart. Kayla Perrin
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gathering her courage, then forged ahead. “Remember how when you asked me who your father was, and I told you he was someone from my past? That I had my reasons for leaving him and didn’t want to say much more?”
Kwame nodded. “Yeah.”
Callie had known that her son had more questions, but he had respected her. He was sensitive that way. She guessed that he assumed she would tell him more when she was ready.
“Well, I want to tell you about your father now. He lives here, in Cleveland.”
She watched as his eyes grew as wide as saucers. “He does?”
“Yeah.”
A long beat passed. Then Kwame softly said, “I always thought my dad was dead.”
“You did?”
“Uh-huh. I thought…I thought if he was alive, you would have told me about him.”
Callie smiled softly. Of course. In his young mind, he had come up with a reasonable explanation for his father’s absence in his life. Because Kwame knew other kids whose parents weren’t together, but they still had a relationship with both their mother and father. He had clearly figured his father was dead for him not to know him at all.
The fact that Kwame had assumed his father was deceased made Callie feel even worse for her having kept him in the dark all these years.
“He’s definitely not dead,” Callie said. “And what I’m going to say may be hard for you to hear. I only hope that you know that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”
Kwame nodded.
“Your father and I…before you were born, we’d had our differences. Differences that led me to believe that raising you alone was the best thing. I didn’t even tell him I was pregnant.” Callie paused, noted that her son was looking at her with interest and compassion, not judgment. He was wise beyond his years.
“It was the wrong decision, honey. And a big part of me feels embarrassed to admit this to you, but I don’t want you to be mad at him.”
“So he never knew about me?” Kwame asked. “At all?”
“No, sweetheart. I want to make that clear to you. It’s not like your father knew you existed and chose not to be a part of your life. I…I feel awful for what I did, but all I can say is that at the time, I had my reasons. Reasons that seemed good to me. A lot has happened in the last couple weeks that has made it clear that I was wrong, and that you ought to know who your father is.” Callie paused. “So that’s where I went this morning. To see your father and tell him about you.”
Kwame was silent, and Callie could see in his eyes that he was processing everything. After several seconds, he asked, “What did he say?”
“That he wants to meet you.”
Kwame’s smile was hesitant. “He did?”
“Of course.” She ran a hand over his head affectionately. “Of course he would.” She kissed Kwame’s cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him before, but I was scared.”
“You were?”
“Yes. With each day that passed that I didn’t tell you about your father and where he lived, it became harder to know what to say to you when the time came. Mostly because I wasn’t ready to contact him about you. I was worried about how he would react if I told him the truth.”
“Was he mad?”
Callie nodded. “Uh-huh,” she said, opting for the truth. “But he had a right to be. And he could have been more upset. But the most important thing for him was learning that he had a son.”
Another pause ensued. Then Kwame asked, “What’s his name?”
“His name is Nigel. Nigel Williams.”
“What does he do?”
“He’s a police officer. Actually, a detective. He solves murders.”
“Cool,” Kwame said.
Callie was glad that her son was immediately warming to the idea of having a father, rather than being shocked and hurt that she hadn’t told him the truth all along.
But he didn’t say what she had expected him to say, that he wanted to meet his father, so Callie asked. “Honey, do you want to meet him? I know this is all so sudden—”
“I want to meet him today,” Kwame said with enthusiasm. Then he immediately glanced away. “Unless…unless you don’t want me to.”
Callie’s heart ached to hear those words from her son’s mouth, but could she blame him? “The whole reason I’m telling you about him is because I want you to get to know him,” she explained. “I figured that you might need some time before meeting him, to process it all, but it seems that you’re as eager to meet him as he is to meet you.”
“Will it be today?” Kwame expelled an audible breath, one full of nervousness.
“As I said, your father is a police officer, so he’s got to go to court today and work later, but tomorrow morning, we’ll go meet him. Sound good?”
“Sure,” Kwame said.
“Great.” Now Callie was the one to exhale nervously. This was really going to happen. Kwame and Nigel would finally meet.
“Can I go downstairs now?” Kwame asked.
“Of course.”
As he bounded out of the room, a smile touched Callie’s lips. Her son had taken this news very well.
Thank God for the resilience of children.
But the real test would come tomorrow.
Chapter 5
Nigel had planned not to tell Marshall about Callie’s revelation until after he met his son. But it didn’t take long after they started their evening shift for Marshall to realize that he was completely distracted and ask him what was going on.
So he told him. Told him about the surprise visit from Callie and what she’d said.
Marshall stared at him with the same dumbfounded expression Nigel was sure he’d worn this morning when Callie had stunned him with her news.
“What?” Marshall asked. “What did you just say?”
Nigel expelled a huff of air. He’d spent the day trying to get a handle on his emotions. He kept alternating between being confused, surprised and angry.
Right now, after having relayed the story to Marshall, he was back to being livid. “She said that I’m a father.”
“No way.”
“That’s what she says.”
“So the kid she was with… About eight, right?”
“He’s nine,” Nigel said. “The timing fits. The date of his birth is six months after we broke up.”
“I can’t believe it, man. What are you going to do?”
“It’s all just sinking in,” Nigel told him. “The reality of it. I didn’t wake up expecting to learn that I’m a father. The situation is so surreal. But that said, if the kid is mine—”
Nigel didn’t finish what he was saying. A part of him never wanted to see Callie again, not after her revelation. He had loved her, but clearly she hadn’t loved him at all. For her to leave him, while carrying his child, and wait ten years to tell him about this… If that wasn’t the lowest of the low, then what was?
“You believe her?”
“Yeah, I do.” And that was the problem. Because considering he believed her, then he had no