One Special Moment. Brenda Jackson
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all actuality, Sterling thought, he could think of a number of reasons, but she would be the last to know of them. He was attracted to her. That in itself was a fact he couldn't, or wouldn't, deny. However, he would not let emotions enter into his relationship with her. The contract between them would rule their lives during the short time they would be together. He was determined not to let his emotions come into play.
His outburst, he now noticed, had been followed by dead silence. He looked into Colby's face and saw her hurt expression. Especially in her eyes—those same dark eyes he found so compelling. It bothered him that he had put that look there, but he knew it was for the best. She would not be in his life any longer than necessary.
“One reason to let me stay is because my child will need me,” Colby finally answered in a soft voice.
Her words, spoken with the confidence she evidently felt, agitated Sterling. “My child will not need you.”
Colby frowned. “What about breast-feeding?”
Sterling raised an arched brow. “Breast-feeding? What about it?”
“Anyone will tell you breast milk is the best source of nutrition for a baby, and I have every intention of breastfeeding. Six weeks won't be long enough. Who'll continue after I'm gone? Surely you won't be able to.”
“No, of course I won't, but—”
“And another thing,” she went on, “you and I both know you travel a lot. Most of your time is spent out of the country. Who'll take care of my child while you're away? Even if you hired someone, no one will do a better job of taking care of it than me. I'll give it the best possible care.”
Seeing that for the moment she had Sterling at a loss for words, Colby pressed on. “And what if you decide you want another child later? What will you do? Enter into a similar arrangement with someone else? And what about how things will look? If I leave too soon after the child's birth, the media will wonder why we got married in the first place. Remember the speculation regarding Michael Jackson's marriage and the birth of his children? Do you want to go through something like that? And then there's another thing.”
She hesitated for a moment but his silence gave her courage to continue. “I could be a good wife to you,” she said in a soft voice, her gaze holding his without flinching. “I know I'm not like a lot of the women you're used to, but I believe I could be a good wife.” Colby wished she felt as confident about that as she sounded.
Sterling felt a deep stirring of unease. He had a feeling she probably could if given the chance, but he would not do that. He didn't want any woman to have a permanent place in his life.
“Have you ever been married before, Colby?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know you could make me a good wife? You have no idea what I'd want in a wife if I were the least bit interested, which I'm not. I don't need a permanent wife nor do I want one. Our marriage will be a temporary one. And as far as being a mother, I must again repeat myself, my child will not need one.”
“I'm sorry,” Colby offered quietly a few minutes later.
Sterling frowned. “For what?”
“For whatever your mother did to make you hate the entire entity of motherhood.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, so save your pity for someone else,” he said coldly. “And I don't hate the entire entity of motherhood. There're some good mothers out there. I don't believe all women are as cold and heartless as the woman who bore me.”
“Name one.”
“Name one what?”
“Give me the name of a woman you consider a good mother.”
His response, to her surprise, was quick. “Kimara.”
“Kimara?”
“Yes, Kimara Garwood. She's the wife of Kyle, my best friend, and the mother of my four godchildren.”
Colby was silent for a moment, then she asked, “And you consider her a good mother?”
“Yes.”
She lifted her chin and glared at him. “Do you want to know what I think?”
“Not really, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway,” he said, raising a fresh cup of coffee to his mouth.
Colby chose to ignore his barb. “I think on the issue of good mothers, you see Kimara Garwood as an exception and not the norm. As far as I'm concerned, you still think unkindly of motherhood. I wonder what some of your loyal fans, especially the ones who're single mothers without the help and support of the father of their child, would think of how you feel. I bet if you were to take the time to check, you'd find there're more men who shirk their responsibilities as fathers than there are women who shirk their responsibilities as mothers. Maybe that's something you need to think about, Sterling Hamilton.”
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