The Best Kept Secrets...: The Secret Affair. Brenda Jackson
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to do since he’d gone back on their agreement.
“I talked to Dillon a few days ago and he mentioned you wouldn’t be coming home for spring break and the reason why. So I figured I could help by giving you a good study boost.”
She shook her head as if doing so would clear her mind. Looking back at him, she said, “There’s no way you could have thought that. And what was that kiss about? I thought we had an understanding.”
“We did. We still do. However, based on the way you responded to my kiss just now, I think we might need to modify a few things.”
She lifted her chin. “There’s nothing for us to modify.”
That response irritated him to the core. “Do you think I want to be here, Jillian? I have a life in Boston, a life I was enjoying until recently. Ever since the kisses we shared on your birthday, I’ve done nothing but think about you, want you, miss you.”
“That’s not my fault,” she snapped.
“It is when you’re not being honest with yourself. Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that you haven’t thought of me? That you haven’t been wanting me? And be honest for once because if you deny it then you need to tell me why your kiss just now said otherwise.”
He watched as she nervously licked her tongue across her lips and his gut clenched. “Tell me, Jillian,” he said in a softer tone. “For once be honest with me and with yourself.”
She drew in a long breath as they stared at each other. After several tense moments passed between them, she said, “Okay, I have been thinking of you, missing you, wanting you. And I hated myself for doing so. You’re a weakness I can’t afford to have right now. It’s crazy. I know a lot of guys around campus. But why you? Why do I want the one guy I can’t have?”
Her words softened his ire. She was just as confused and frustrated as he was. “And why do you think you can’t have me?”
She frowned. “You know why, Aidan. Pam and Dillon would be against it. In their eyes, we’re family. And even if you were a guy she would approve of, she would try to convince me not to get involved with you and to stay focused on becoming a doctor.”
“You don’t know for certain that’s how she would feel, Jillian.”
“I do know. When Pam was in college pursuing her dream of becoming an actress, I asked her why she didn’t date. She told me that a woman should never sacrifice her dream for any man.”
“I’m not asking you to sacrifice your dream.”
“No, but you want an involvement during a time when I should be more focused than ever on becoming a doctor.”
“I want to help you, not hinder you,” he stressed again.
“How do you think you can do that?”
At least she was willing to listen. “By using this week to introduce you to study techniques that will help you remember those things you need to remember.”
She nervously licked her tongue across her lips again. “It won’t work. I won’t be able to think straight with you around.”
“I’ll make sure you do. I’m not asking to stay here, Jillian. I’ve already checked into a hotel a mile or so from here. I’ll arrive every morning and we’ll study until evening, taking short breaks in between. Then we’ll grab something to eat and enjoy the evening. Afterward, I’ll bring you back here and then leave. Before going to bed you should review what was covered that day, making sure you get eight hours of sleep.”
She looked at him as if he was crazy. “I can’t take time from studying to enjoy the evening. I’ll need to study morning, noon and night.”
“Not with me helping you. Besides, too much studying will make you burned out, and you don’t want to do that. What good is studying if that happens?”
When she didn’t say anything, he pushed harder. “Try my way for a couple of days and if it doesn’t work, if you feel I’m more of a hindrance than a help, I’ll leave Laramie and let you do things your way.”
As she stared at him, not saying anything, he could feel blood throb through his veins. As usual she looked serious. Beautiful. Tempting. He wanted her. Being around her would be hard and leaving her every night after dinner would be harder. He would want to stay and make love to her all through the night. But that wasn’t possible. No matter how hard it would be, he needed to keep his self-control.
“Okay,” she finally said. “We’ll try it for a couple of days. And if it doesn’t work I intend for you to keep your word about leaving.”
“I will.” He had no intention of leaving because he intended for his plan to work. He had aced the MCAT the first time around, with flying colors. Once he’d gotten his act together as a teenager, he’d discovered he was an excellent test taker, something Adrian was not. Determined not to leave his twin behind, he’d often tutored Adrian, sharing his study tips and techniques with his brother. Aidan had also done the same with Bailey once she was in college. Unfortunately, he’d never gotten the chance to share his techniques with Bane since his cousin hadn’t been interested in anything or anyone but Crystal.
“Now let’s seal our agreement,” he said.
When she extended her hand, he glanced at it before pulling her into his arms again.
* * *
He was taking advantage again, Jillian thought. But she only thought that for a second. That was all the time it took for her to begin returning his kiss with the same hunger he seemed to feel. This was crazy. It was insane. It was also what she needed. What she’d been wanting since leaving Denver and returning to Laramie.
Kissing was something they enjoyed doing with each other and the unhurried mating of their mouths definitely should be ruled illegal. But for now she could handle this—in the safety of her living room, in the arms of a man she thoroughly enjoyed kissing—as long as it went no further.
But what if it did? He’d already shown her that his definition of kissing included any part of her body. What if he decided he wanted more than her mouth this time? Her hormones were going haywire just thinking of the possibility.
He suddenly broke off the kiss and she fought back a groan of disappointment. She stared up at him. “Okay, where’s the study guide?” he asked her.
She blinked. Her mind was slow in functioning after such a blazing kiss. It had jarred her senses. “Study guide?”
He smiled and caressed her cheek. “Yes, the MCAT study guide.”
“On my kitchen table. I was studying when you showed up.”
“Good. And you’ll study some more. Lead the way.”
* * *
Aidan leaned back in his chair and glanced over at Jillian. “Any questions?”
She shook her head. “No, but you make it seem simple.”
He smiled. “Trust me, it’s not. The key is to remember that you’re the one in control of your brain and the knowledge that’s stored inside of it. Don’t let retrieving that information during test time psych you out.”
She chuckled. “That’s easy for you to say.”
“And it will be easy for you, as well. I’ve been there, and when time allows I tutor premed students like yourself. You did well on the practice exam, which covers basically everything you need to know. Now you need to concentrate on those areas you’re not so sure about.”
“Which is a lot.”
“All of them are things you know,” he countered. He believed the only reason she lacked confidence in her abilities was because the idea of failing was freaking her out. “You don’t have to pass on the first go-round. A lot of people don’t. That’s why it’s suggested you plan to