Deputy Daddy. Patricia Johns
Читать онлайн книгу.
my mom worked to keep us fed. It turned into an odd dynamic.”
Bryce wiped his arm, then the floor, his mind going back to his own father. His dad had left when he was six—a cocky police officer who ruffled his son’s hair and said, Don’t worry, Bryce. I’ll be around. Famous last words, because he saw his father only a few times a year after that, and Bryce and his mother had been left to figure it out together.
“My dad was out of the picture pretty early, too,” Bryce said. “You do what you have to.”
“Well, I didn’t do it well enough, if they turned out like this.” She turned sad eyes toward the window as if she could see them in her mind’s eye.
“You were a kid yourself.”
She smiled wanly. “I suppose.”
“You were right, though, that they’ll end up with a criminal record that way,” he said.
“I know.” She met his gaze frankly. “And I’m worried about them.”
If she gave an inch, those boys would take over everything she’d worked for. Bryce could see that clearly enough—just as clearly as he could see that she loved them quite ferociously.
“Don’t feel bad about having your own life,” he said.
“I don’t.” She rubbed gentle circles onto the baby’s back, and from Bryce’s position, he could see that Emily was asleep again. “I want my freedom. I want my own life. I want to take care of me, and only me, and not have to think about everyone who needs something from me all the time.”
“And foster care?” It didn’t seem to fit into that description.
“I’m only the backup foster care around here,” she said, “but even so, I’m supposed to be taking some time away from it all.”
He could understand that. She’d obviously been in the role of caregiver ever since she was a kid. Kids never did a very good job of raising each other. He didn’t blame their mother, and he didn’t blame Lily. They’d done the best they could after a death.
“Is that selfish?” she asked.
“Nope.” He cast her a smile.
Lily moved Emily and looked down into her sleeping face. “I’ve wanted to run a B and B since I was a kid, and I want to do this on my own.”
“Freedom,” he said.
“Freedom.” A smile spread over her face, and a glimmer of light came back into her eyes. “I’ve been holding out for this since I turned eighteen, and I thought I’d finally gotten it.”
Lily looked up at the clock on the wall, and Bryce’s eyes followed hers. It was nearly midnight.
“I’d better get the baby back to bed,” she said. “I’m really sorry about tonight.”
“I know.” He grinned. “Those Yelp reviews can be brutal.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “You aren’t half as funny as you think you are, Bryce.” She paused, grimaced. “Please don’t mention this on Yelp.”
“I was joking.” He caught her eye. “I promise. Have a good night. I’ll lock up over in the house.”
She gave him a tired smile, and he went to the door.
“Emily really likes you,” she said softly, and Bryce turned back. Lily cradled the baby in her arms, and somehow when she was cuddling the infant, everything about her looked softer. She was beautiful in a way that went right down to the core, and it warmed a place in his heart that he wasn’t comfortable peeking into. He wasn’t good for kids. He wasn’t a family man. He was a good cop, and he was a good man deep down, but he knew where to draw the line.
“You’re going to have to teach her to have better taste in men,” he said wryly, then turned back to the door. “Good night, Lily.”
Lily deserved her taste of freedom, and while he didn’t know if it was even possible, he’d like to be the one to break her out.
* * *
The next day, Lily stood in the guest room Bryce was occupying, pulling the sheets from the bed. Her mind was on the episode from the night before, her stomach clenched in anxiety. He was a cop—a cop! And her brothers had tried to break into the house where he was sleeping. She was grateful he hadn’t arrested them on the spot and brought them into the station. She was even more grateful he hadn’t pressed charges.
Not that they didn’t deserve it. That was the worst part. She tore the bottom sheet from the mattress and wadded it into a ball. This could have been the start of a criminal record for each. They were still her little brothers, and the thought of them facing authorities was enough to bring tears to her eyes.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered. Why did the boys have to ignore every piece of advice she gave them? Why couldn’t they see the consequences waiting for them? And while she’d thought that a B and B would be a great idea for this town to house the visiting officers, last night she realized exactly what she’d done—set up her own brothers’ eventual arrests if she couldn’t get them straightened out.
She definitely needed to step back from any foster parenting—her hands were already full with the boys. What good was she to the kids who’d move through her home if she couldn’t be the same stable influence for her own brothers? Family was supposed to come first.
Bryce’s suitcase lay on one chair, zipped shut. If it weren’t for that bag, she would hardly have seen any evidence of him being here. She looked at it for a moment, pushing back the temptation to snoop. She wasn’t a snoop by nature—it was that little rebellious streak inside her that constantly wondered What if I just...
When her boyfriend had asked her to move to Denver with him three years ago, it was What if I just left? What if I started a whole new life in a big city? But even then, she knew enough to realize that if she walked away, she couldn’t live with the consequences of how it would affect the lives of her little brothers.
She’d been praying all morning that God would show her how to protect those boys, from everything...including the cop under her roof. It was crazy to think of an officer of the law as the enemy, because she’d always been a friend of the police force. But this was about her brothers, and her protective instincts superseded anything else. Maybe if they grew up a little more...maturity might make a difference. Randy and Burke were sixteen and fifteen respectively, and the twins were only thirteen. None of the boys were terribly mature yet.
And Bryce was kindly helping her look into Aaron Bay. A good thing—she knew that! But that also pulled him in closer to her personal life, and that included her brothers. She’d set this whole thing up, and she felt trapped.
After her brothers left, she’d gone back to bed, but she’d been woken up twice by a very hungry little Emily. And as she looked around this room, she wished that she could be more focused on her business. She’d wanted this for so long, and she was deeply proud of this house, the decor, her careful plans to make sure her guests had as pleasant a stay as possible, and she regretted being unable to focus on it completely. But with everything that was happening around here, she just couldn’t.
In fact, she’d just gotten off the phone with her aunt, who’d been gushing over honeymoon plans. Apparently, they wanted to go to Europe—a perfectly romantic-sounding trip, except that Lily’s first thought was that her aunt would be off American soil, which felt more vulnerable. Lily knew she was trying to protect all of them, but was she strong enough to pull it off?
She flapped a sheet over the mattress, and it came down in a white billow. As she tucked the corners in tightly, she remembered all her daydreams as she got ready to open her bed-and-breakfast. None of them had included all the other drama. Her vision of owning her own business had included her being able to focus on the running of it without constant interruption. She’d imagined herself doing laundry, cooking meals, making up the perfect brunch for