The Cowboy's Christmas Baby. Carolyne Aarsen
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Erin’s heart softened at the sight of her sisters so obviously in love with her baby.
And the one thought threading through her mind was, We’re not alone anymore.
Lauren sensed her presence and looked behind her, her smile stiffening as Erin came nearer. But then she stood and walked around the couch, her arms open wide.
Erin stepped directly into her twin sister’s embrace, fighting down the surprising and unwelcome tears as Lauren hugged her. Hard. Tight.
“Oh, sweetie. What has been happening in your life?” Lauren murmured.
Erin simply clung to her sister unable to find the words.
She was the first to pull away scrubbing at her cheeks, thankful that she hadn’t bothered to put on any makeup.
“Sorry. I just...” She looked at her sister and gave her a watery smile. “I missed you.”
Lauren cupped her face in her hands and brushed a gentle kiss over her forehead. “Missed you, too, Rinny.”
The pet name was almost her undoing again.
But then Jodie stood, shifting Caitlin in her arms, grabbing Erin in a one-armed hug. “Hey, sis,” she said, pressing her cheek against hers. “Love this little girl.”
Erin pulled in a shaky breath and struggled to keep her composure. All the way up here she’d been nervous and afraid of what she would see in her sisters’ eyes. But now that she had arrived and her sisters had met Caitlin, she felt a loosening of the tension gripping her the past few months.
“I love her, too,” she whispered, stroking her daughter’s cheek.
They were all quiet for the space of a few heartbeats, each connected by this precious baby.
“So...” Lauren let the word drag out and Erin knew the moment of reckoning had arrived.
Then a door slammed and a male voice boomed into the quiet, “Grocery delivery,” and Erin felt a temporary reprieve.
She turned to see Vic walking into the room, half a dozen plastic bags slung from his hands. He was as tall as Dean, his hair lighter with a bit of curl, his features softer and a brightness to his eyes that Dean didn’t have.
He dropped the bags on the counter, then looked over the girls. He did a double take as he saw Erin, then released a huge grin.
“So you finally made it,” Vic said, walking over to her. “Your coming was all Lauren and Jodie have been talking about the past week.”
Then Vic surprised her by pulling Erin close in a quick embrace. “Welcome back to the ranch,” he said, resting his hands on her shoulder. Then he turned to Lauren and brushed a quick kiss over her cheek. “And good to see you, my dear.”
“And you brought the groceries.” Lauren gave him a quick hug. “Well done.”
Vic placed a hand over his chest. “You know me. I have a servant heart.”
Erin watched their casual give-and-take, thankfulness welling up at the sight. Lauren had had her own struggles, as well. Being left at the altar by a man she’d given so much of her life to had soured her on men. To see her so relaxed with Vic gave Erin a glimmer of hope for happy endings.
At least for her sisters. Herself, not so much.
Then Vic noticed Caitlin in Jodie’s arms. “Well, well. Is there something I missed?” Vic joked, grinning at Jodie. “Something you want to tell me?”
His comment was meant in fun but shame flickered through Erin.
“Don’t tell Finn.” Jodie gave Vic a wink and then shot Erin a meaningful glance.
“She’s my daughter,” Erin said, the words echoing in the house. The same house that often held the condemning voice of their father, reminding the girls to behave. Be good.
And I was. I was always good, Erin told herself, clenching her hands, fighting down the disgrace she’d struggled with ever since she saw that plus sign on the home pregnancy kit.
Vic’s puzzled stare just underlined her own shame. Then the porch door closed again, echoing in the silence that followed and Dean came into the room.
Don’t see the man for twelve years and then twice in one day. Just her luck.
Dean’s shadowed gaze ticked from her to her sisters as he set a couple of grocery bags on the counter, then the baby Jodie still held, then finally back to Erin. He gave her a quick nod. “Hey, again,” he said, taking off his hat and dropping it beside the bags. “Didn’t think you’d beat us here.”
“I changed my mind about going to the Grill and Chill,” she said.
His smile tightened and she wondered if he had hoped to arrive and leave before she came.
“So. You have a baby,” Vic said, stating the obvious.
Erin took her from her sister, cradling her close. “I do. She’s six weeks old and her name is Caitlin.”
She didn’t have to look at her sisters to read the questions that hovered ever since she’d thrust her daughter into their arms. She had been in and out of touch for the past half year and hadn’t even come to their father’s funeral. She had been on bed rest and couldn’t travel.
But every time she picked up her phone to tell Jodie and Lauren, every time she wrote up a text to explain why, she’d gone with inane details instead. The truth would take hours and pages.
Plus she just couldn’t deal with the inevitable questions about the circumstances and the baby’s father.
“Do you guys want some coffee?” Jodie asked, her voice artificially bright.
“I’m good.”
“Sure. That’d be nice.”
Dean and Vic spoke at the same time then looked at each other. “We can stay for a while,” Vic said, tilting his brother a questioning look.
Dean shook his head and Erin guessed he was about as comfortable around her as she was around him.
You’d think all those years would have eased the awkwardness, Erin thought, rocking Caitlin. It was as if she and Dean were back in those unwieldy high school years when emotions were heightened and judgments abounded.
But now, it felt as if the roles were reversed. She didn’t know where Dean was at in his life, but she wasn’t the girl she once was. The girl who thought herself too good for Dean Moore.
“I think we should let the sisters spend some time together,” Dean said. “We should go.”
Vic looked like he didn’t want to agree.
“And I’m sure Lauren and Jodie want to get to know their niece,” Dean added.
His voice held an odd tone and she shot a quick glance his way to figure out what he meant. But he wasn’t looking at her.
She didn’t know why that bothered her. It was like she wasn’t there.
“Okay. We’ll push off then,” Vic said, giving Lauren another brief kiss. “I’ll call you tonight.”
Lauren’s soft smile for Vic gave Erin a tinge of jealousy. She was happy for her sister. Happy her life had come to this good place. But it was hard not to wonder what her own future looked like.
Just before Dean left, his eyes drifted to Erin once more and for a heartbeat their gazes held.
She wasn’t sure what to read into his enigmatic expression.
Didn’t matter, she thought, cradling her head over Caitlin. She had other priorities and another focus.
Dean Moore’s opinion of her wouldn’t affect her at all.
* * *
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