Christmas in His Bed: Talking in Your Sleep... / Unwrapped / Kiss & Tell. Carrie Alexander
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discussing—let me get the wine, and don’t worry, you’re sleeping here tonight.”
Joy knew her friend’s sudden appearance had saved her from making a colossal error in judgment. She didn’t like seeing Pam so upset, but she’d almost made a huge mistake.
She’d told Rafe that she wanted to take things slowly and see what happened. Five hours after saying that, she’d been ready to do a naked peep show for him from her bedroom window. Her wants, needs and desires were seriously confused, and rushing matters wasn’t going to help any.
She poured two glasses of wine, emptying the bottle that she and Rafe had opened for dinner, and handed one to Pam.
“Okay. Now, what happened?”
Joy could swear she’d never seen anyone in this much emotional pain since her mother had walked out the door on her father. Pam was usually so stalwart and strong, not letting much get to her, and Joy had always admired that. Right now, though, her friend looked completely done in.
“Oh, God, Joy. Everything is such a wreck. It was all so perfect twelve hours ago. Well, not perfect, but perfect enough, you know? If only I hadn’t gone to that stupid party …”
Joy leaned in, trying to make sense of the stream of comments.
“Something bad occurred at the party?”
“It was a disaster—well, at first it was wonderful to be out with Ted, dancing, and the place looked beautiful, with all the lights and the tree….” Pam stopped, gulping to control breaking into sobs again.
Joy grabbed more tissues. “Here. Cry away, then talk.”
Through her sobs, Pam managed to tell Joy, in detail excruciating enough that Joy completely shared her friend’s embarrassment and pain.
“That Solese! He’s such a pig—he came on to me, too, back then!”
Pam’s astonishment stemmed her tears. “Are you kidding?”
“Nope. He caught me in the kitchen at the shelter one day, I was packing some lunches, and he got in my personal space a little too much. When I asked him to back off, he asked me out. I turned him down flat, of course. He didn’t like the rejection—I think he might have gotten mad at me, but one of the residents came in, and he left.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I never thought about it again, to be honest. He was so annoying.”
Pam nodded. “Well, his annoyance translated into a big scene tonight, and that scene might make some serious trouble for me—we could be shut down by the end of January if people stop their donations. If the papers get hold of this, maybe faster.”
Joy threw her hands up. “I don’t get it—it’s not like you house teenagers or vulnerable populations. These are grown men. Ted’s an adult, and you have an adult relationship. How is he doing in all of this?”
Joy knew she’d hit the big nerve when she saw fat tears rolling down Pam’s cheeks.
“H-he … We’re not together anymore.” The last word was choked out on another sob.
“What do you mean you’re not together? How can that be?”
“We were so angry with each other, I guess. We left, and drove down to the Seaport and walked, and he was in his ‘too bad about them, what do we care?’ mode, and I had to remind him that twelve other lives are depending on me and keeping that shelter open right now. His open declaration threatened that—who knows how bad it will be if word gets around?”
Joy sat back, pensive. Pam was in a terrible spot, and she didn’t know exactly what to say to make her feel better, so she chose her words carefully.
“I can see how you were both pushed into impossible corners. I don’t blame him for wanting to come out and say you’re together—he’s right, why should you be ashamed?” Joy said, holding a hand up to stem Pam’s quick response. “I can also see that you’re right, too—it’s about more than the two of you. You have worked so hard to make Second Chance what it is, and it’s directly responsible for how successful Ted has become. He should have realized that.”
Pam raised a hand to her face, quieter now, but seeming almost emptied out.
“He does know, which is making him feel guilty for what he did, though he shouldn’t—you know? It also means the people at the shelter will probably find out, and that could screw things up there. You know how they see me as a mother, or like a boss, at least. This could diminish me in their eyes.”
“Because you fell in love? How can they miss how wonderful this is? They would all be inspired to work for the same in life, I think.”
Pam smiled wanly. “That’s true, but as you know some of them aren’t ‘there’ yet—they’ve faced such hard times, and they rely on me as the steady presence, the rock…. If they think I might leave, abandon them, well … Or there could be any number of responses I could imagine, none of them good.”
“All the more reason for you and Ted to provide a united front. You should talk to the residents together, explain, and Ted could make sure they understand. I think they’d be happy for you.”
Pam shrugged, draining her wine.
“It’s all too complicated. That may or may not be the right way to go. I have some people I can ask, counselors at other agencies. They can help. I don’t know if Ted and I will be getting back together—he was hurt, I was hurt, a lot of angry things were said.”
“Oh, Pam, that happens in the best of relationships. People overcome worse all the time—you know that. What’s your motto?”
Pam closed her eyes, shaking her head.
“No, come on. You know every single one of those guys who has come in has lost hope and then they find you. What do you tell them?”
“There’s no challenge so huge you can’t take it on one step at a time,” Pam repeated tiredly, a phrase she’d used a million times with others.
“And?” Joy prompted.
“Okay, okay. Sheesh. And if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.”
Joy smiled, setting her glass on the table.
“I never knew how annoying those sayings were until now,” Pam muttered, and Joy laughed.
“A joke! All is not lost if you can make a joke!” she cheerfully offered one more of the many motivational truisms she’d heard Pam share over the years. Corny as they were, they cut to the truth of things, and they worked.
“This may be more than we can—”
“Stop—no arguing for your limitations, remember?”
Pam sighed heavily, giving in. “Okay. Okay. I’ll find out tomorrow how bad it is, and we’ll get started trying to save face.”
“Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think. You could start by adopting some of Ted’s attitude—while he made an error in making his announcement when he did, he’s right. You don’t have to apologize for the fact that you’re with him. You shouldn’t.”
“I know. I’m used to giving everything I have to the shelter. I’ve done that for years, and I don’t know how to separate it all out.”
“You could start by calling Ted. You two need to talk more now that you’re calm.”
Pam nodded, her eyelids drooping.
“Time for sleep. Tomorrow is a new day,” Joy quipped and offered Pam a blanket.
“Please, stop. I can’t take any more motivation now.”
“Okay, see you in the morning.”
Pam burrowed down into the large sofa, and Joy milled around for a bit,