Australia: Handsome Heroes: His Secret Love-Child. Lilian Darcy
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Paul’s fault. He’d gone in search of something he’d sensed had been out there. He’d been injured before he’d found it, but Gina had found it here.
Cal.
She was holding him tight. Tighter.
What was it between them? She didn’t know. Pure, uncomplicated lust? There was certainly that, she thought. Her body was reacting to his as if there was some switch that sent heat surging in a way she hadn’t felt for five long years.
He made her feel…
What?
Who was asking for explanations? Why waste this moment? She surely wasn’t going to.
Her lips opened to his and she hadn’t wanted to be kissed—or she was almost sure she hadn’t wanted to be kissed—but she was numb and past rational thought and she was wet and his body was so close and their clothes were soaked, so soaked that they might as well not have existed, and his hands were wonderful and she could taste him and she was sinking against him and…
And he was her Cal.
The heat was overpowering. She was melting inside, turning to liquid jelly as wave after wave of pure hot longing surged through her body. She was responding to him with every nerve ending she had, from the tips of her ears to the tips of her toes. The waves were washing against them and at times they were up to their necks in the water, but it made it more wonderful. It didn’t take away the heat.
Nothing could take away this heat.
‘Gina…’
He was holding her close. Closer. She was merging into him under the water, her body curling against him as if two melting objects were merging into one. Her lips widened, her tongue was searching…She wanted this man so much.
The kiss deepened, lengthened, strengthened, and with it came a strengthening of the bond that had been forged five years ago. It was a bond she’d thought she’d broken but she knew now that she never could.
This man was her son’s father.
This man was her love.
But he didn’t know it. Not as she wanted him to know it, in a glorious acknowledgement that they could be a family.
‘You’re beautiful,’ he managed in a voice that was husky with passion. She’d drawn away as a wave had crashed against them but he’d tugged her back into him again and she had no power to resist.
‘You’re not so bad yourself,’ she whispered, before his mouth lowered again. She even managed a shaken laugh. ‘A bit soggy…’
‘Soggy’s good. Soggy’s great.’
‘Shut up and kiss me, Cal.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’
What was she doing? she wondered in the tiny fraction of her brain available for such thought. But she knew very well what she was doing. She was taking what was offered right now because this moment was all she had. Even if Cal wanted to forge something from now on, there was no way he was offering himself. He’d hold himself independent, regardless. He’d drilled that hard lesson into his heart and he intended to stay that way.
But just for now, just for this minute, she told herself desperately, there was no such thing as independence. Cal was a part of her and she’d take what comfort she could before she moved on.
Tomorrow.
For some reason the word slammed through her tired brain, smashing against the love and the heat and the joy, and she felt her body shudder. He felt it, as he’d feel a wave crashing against them, and he drew away again, holding her at arm’s length and looking at her in concern.
‘What is it, my love?’
Doctor picking up pieces, she thought dully. Then not knowing what to do with them. Cal would always act with honour. He was so kind, so caring…
He just couldn’t take the next step.
‘I’m not your love,’ she said, in a voice that was none too steady.
‘I’ve loved you from the first time we met.’
‘Have you?’
‘Of course I have.’
But the bubble had burst. Reality was slamming back and with it a kind of sense.
‘Then what, Cal?’ she said, knowing exactly where this was headed. ‘What? If you do indeed love me, then what? Do you want us to stay together?’
His face shuttered. ‘Don’t, Gina,’ he whispered. ‘Not yet. I can’t. Just let’s take this moment.’
‘Like we did five years ago? That ended up with CJ.’
Where had that come from? She hadn’t wanted to say it. This moment could well be all she had, and to spoil it…
But desire was being replaced by an anger that couldn’t be ignored.
‘I’m not suggesting we go to bed,’ he told her, and her anger grew.
‘Good. Neither am I.’
‘We have to figure something out.’
This was ridiculous. They were chest-deep in water, discussing their future. Or their lack of a future. The waves were washing in and out, Cal’s hands still held her firm around the waist, protecting her from the waves’ force, and she was so close. But his face, his eyes…they said there was still a distance between them.
Of course there was a distance between them.
‘Gina, do you have to go back to the States?’ he asked, and she stilled.
‘What are you suggesting?’
‘We need to work things out.’
‘Maybe.’ Be careful, her head was screaming. Be very careful. But there was a tiny hope…
‘Gina, you loved working in Townsville.’
So I did, she thought. Because you were there.
‘What if I did?’ she asked, and managed to keep her voice steady.
‘You had your kids’ club. You enjoyed it. You loved the emergency work.’
‘That’s right.’
‘If you were to go back there…Townsville’s only an hour’s flight from here. I spend a lot of time there.’
The world seemed to have stopped breathing. She tried to make herself think. ‘So…why would I go to Townsville?’
‘I could see you,’ he told her. ‘I work a roster of three weeks on, one week off. I could spend a week at Townsville and get to know CJ.’
‘I guess you could.’ Her glimmer of hope had faded into nothing. Her voice sounded leaden, defeated. What else had she expected? she asked of herself. Fairy-tales were for storybooks. Not for her. ‘But where would that leave me?’
‘You liked Townsville.’
‘My family and friends are in Idaho.’
‘I’d be in Townsville.’
‘Once a month.’
‘Gina, we could see how it went.’ His voice was softly persuasive and he bent to kiss her again.
But she was having none of it and she shoved him away.
‘Yes, we could,’ she said. Anger was her only aid now, but she had it in spades. More than anger. Pure, blind fury. ‘I could give up my very good job in the States. I could abandon my friends. But why, Cal? So you get to see CJ once a month?’
‘He’s my son.’
‘Prove it,’ she snapped. ‘What makes a father? A one-night stand?’
‘We