Colton's Secret Son. Carla Cassidy
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thing I need right now is for you to berate me for decisions I made in the past.”
She ended her words with an audible sob and raised her hands to hide her face. Good grief, what was wrong with her? Why was she suddenly so out of control?
“Don’t cry, Allison. You know I could never stand it when you cried.”
The unexpected softness in Knox’s voice did nothing to staunch her tears. It only made her feel worse. She’d made such a mess of things when she’d lied to Knox so long ago. But she’d already been hurt by his abrupt withdrawal, and the last thing she’d wanted was to tie him to her when he obviously didn’t want to be with her.
She shook her head, feeling foolish as she only cried harder.
“Allison.”
His voice was close and when he grabbed her by the hand she allowed him to pull her up and into his arms. It was the very last place she should be, but she leaned weakly against him as her tears continued to flow.
She’d had to be so strong in taking care of her sick father, a baby and a business. She’d had to remain strong for Cody when her father had passed away, but at this very moment she had no strength left; there was only old grief and new regrets.
“Shh.” Knox tightened his arms around her. His embrace was wonderfully familiar and despite the years, in spite of his anger with her and her long-ago hurt and anger toward him, his arms felt safe. His shirt smelled of fabric softener and his woodsy cologne as she buried her head against his shoulder.
Slowly the tears began to subside but she didn’t move out of his embrace. There had been many times in the past ten years that she’d yearned for a man’s arms around her. She’d secretly yearned for his arms.
He rubbed a hand up and down her back, the caress not only comforting her, but also stoking a delicious warmth inside her. Move away, a little voice whispered in her head. This was madness, to linger in the arms of a man who would never have a place in her life again.
She raised her head with every intention of stepping away from him. But his arms pulled her closer to him and his lips crashed down on hers.
Hot and hungry, his mouth demanded an immediate response from her and she was helpless to do anything but comply. Without her volition her arms rose to encircle his neck as she opened her mouth to him.
The kiss erased all rational thought from her mind. Instead, all of her senses came gloriously alive as his mouth made love to hers. His tongue swirled with hers as his scent suffused her, and the heat of his hands on her back invited her to melt against his broad chest. Their bodies fit together perfectly, as if they had been made for each other.
He finally left her lips to slide his mouth down the column of her throat. As her knees weakened with desire, rational thought slammed back into her. She jerked back from him, appalled by how quickly, how completely, he could break down all her defenses.
His eyes radiated a raw hunger as he held her gaze intently. “Despite everything that has happened between us, I still want you. There’s always been something strong between us, Allison, and you can’t deny that it’s still there.”
No, she couldn’t deny it, but she also wouldn’t admit it to him. “It doesn’t matter.” She took two steps back from him, needing not only to emotionally distance herself but to physically distance herself, as well.
“That kiss was a mistake. I don’t feel that way about you anymore.” Okay, maybe she could deny it, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t believe her.
“In any case, anything like that between us would be foolish and it would only complicate things. We aren’t going there again, Knox, and now I think it’s time we say good-night.”
She breathed a sigh of relief when he nodded and turned to walk to the front door. Her legs were still shaky as she accompanied him.
“I’m sorry about my little breakdown,” she said.
He turned to face her and before she could read his intentions he grabbed her and once again planted a kiss on her lips.
It was short and searing and when he released her his eyes sparkled with a knowing glint. “The next time you try to tell me you don’t feel that way about me anymore, say it like you really mean it,” he said, and then he was gone into the night.
Allison closed and locked the door, then raised a hand to her lips where the heat from his mouth still burned. How had the night gone so crazy, first with her unexpected tears and then with the even more unexpected desire that had exploded between them?
She turned out all the lights on the lower level and then slowly climbed the stairs where the hall light was on at the top. Thoughts of Knox still filled her head as she went past her bedroom and instead stood at Cody’s bedroom door.
He was asleep on the top bunk and facing the doorway. A little smile lingered on his face, as if he was enjoying happy dreams.
This was the first night in over nine years that she hadn’t been the one to tuck him into bed. She hadn’t kissed him on his forehead and told him to have sweet dreams. Her face hadn’t been the last one he’d seen before he went to sleep. Tonight Knox had maybe stroked the hair off Cody’s forehead and wished his son happy dreams.
She turned and went into her bedroom. In the adjoining bathroom she pulled the pins from her hair to release it and then changed from her clothes to her pink, short-sleeved nightshirt. Cody had bought it last year for Mother’s Day with his allowance, and it had a rearing horse on the front with the word Spirit in purple.
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