Chapter Thirty-Two

      Anna strode into the nursing home day room. ‘Hi, Bert.’ Bert didn’t respond. He had his Mickey Mouse headphones on. She tapped him on the arm and he jumped. ‘Hi, Bert,’ she repeated.

      ‘Oh, Anna. Hello,’ he said, fumbling off the headphones. ‘Let me pause this,’ he said, running his thumb over the iPod until he found the home key. ‘Sit down,’ he said.

      ‘Actually, I’ve got someone to see you. Wait a minute.’ Anna put the coffees down on the table and nipped out of the room. A puzzled-looking Bert tidied up his headphone cable and put them carefully on the floor by his feet.

      Anna came back in but before she could put the carrier down or explain, Maurice spotted Bert and let out a loud meow.

      ‘Maurice?’ said Bert, tears springing to his eyes.

      Anna put the cat carrier on the floor, opened it up and Maurice leaped straight onto Bert’s lap taking him a bit unawares.

      ‘Hello, old fellow. How are you?’ asked Bert and Maurice’s deep purr seemed to ask the same question. Maurice resembled a soldier marching on the spot, lifting up his front paws in turn. Bert was trying to stroke him and wipe away tears at the same time.

      Bert and Maurice seemed oblivious when other residents came over to see what was going on. A carer put her head around the door and gave Anna a warm smile at the sight of so many residents on their feet chattering excitedly and all trying to get a stroke of Maurice. Anna put the cat carrier out of the way – the last thing she wanted was someone tripping over it and breaking a hip.

      Bert’s face radiated happiness and it cheered her deep inside. Maurice was soon over the initial excitement and was now stretched out on Bert’s lap rhythmically kneading his corduroy trousers.

      ‘Anna,’ said Bert, without looking up.

      Anna went to his side and touched his shoulder. ‘Yes.’

      Bert’s voice cracked when he spoke. ‘This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.’ He reached for her hand and squeezed it firmly. ‘Thank you.’

      ‘You’re welcome, Bert. Maurice is really pleased to see you too. I swear he’s grinning.’

      ‘I can imagine,’ said Bert. ‘I think I’ll have that coffee now, please.’

      Anna and Maurice didn’t stay too long. If Maurice could have curled up and gone to sleep she was sure they could have stayed longer but it seemed all the residents wanted to come and say hello and eventually Maurice jumped off Bert’s lap and started to explore. Anna had agreed the visit with the care home’s manager and the friendly carer had made sure all doors and windows and any other possible escape routes were secure before Anna had brought Maurice in but they still didn’t want a nosy moggy on the loose.

      ‘Okay, time to go,’ she said, lifting Maurice into her arms and putting him on the arm of Bert’s chair.

      Bert seemed to know he was there and gave him a good head rub. ‘Bye, Maurice. It’s been lovely to see you one last time.’

      ‘Actually,’ said Anna. ‘Because you’ve both behaved yourselves, they’ve said we can do this again.’ She leaned in conspiratorially. ‘To be honest they said it’s the first time they’ve seen some of the people in here smile for months.’

      ‘That’s marvellous. When do you think you’ll bring him again?’ Bert’s face was alight.

      Anna mentally whizzed through her calendar. ‘Probably in a couple of weeks.’

      ‘After New York?’ asked Bert.

      ‘Err,’ Anna faltered, she’d pushed it to the back of her mind although her plan was to call in sick on the morning of the flight. It seemed the easiest get-out approach.

      ‘Anna.’ His voice was earnest. ‘Sometimes you need to be braver than you think possible. This is one of those times.’

      Anna’s stomach lurched. It sounded like one of Roberta’s better quotes. ‘I guess.’

      ‘Then I’ll see you and Maurice after you’ve been to New York.’

      Sophie looked at home in Anna’s kitchen eating biscuits while Anna went through her post.

      ‘I saw my GP today. He’s given me some medication in case I want to give flying a go,’ said Anna, feeling the familiar acidic flush in her stomach at the very thought of a plane.

      ‘That’s a hugely positive step. Well done, you.’ Sophie gave her a hug.

      ‘Coffee?’ asked Anna, discarding a pile of leaflets that had been put through with her letters.

      ‘I’m not stopping long but Dave insisted on doing bath time so I thought I might as well pop here for a quick natter and a catch up on all the office gossip.’

      ‘Of course, it’s always lovely to see you,’ said Anna. ‘Not much happening in the office though. Roberta’s still spouting Minnie Mouse’s best motivational quotes and Karl’s still walking up and down while he takes his phone calls.’

      ‘Why do men do that?’

      ‘I have no idea,’ she said, opening an ordinary white envelope and pulling out an invitation. For a moment she experienced a bubble of excitement but when she saw what it said a wave of nausea came over her. Everything that haunted her about the past rushed into her mind and she found herself gripping the card tightly.

      ‘You okay?’ asked Sophie, peering closer. ‘What is it?’ She took the card from Anna’s sweating palm and read it. ‘A university reunion?’

      ‘Is someone playing games?’ Anna searched Sophie’s face for reassurance.

      ‘No, you’re overthinking this. Unis have reunions all the time. People love all the nostalgia it throws up.’ Sophie paused. ‘You know, maybe you should consider going. Lay some ghosts to rest?’

      Anna felt giddy at the thought and had to take a deep breath to control the panic rising inside her. She shook her head. ‘I … I couldn’t. The thought of being there brings it all back.’

      ‘It’s all right.’ Sophie squeezed her shoulder. ‘You don’t have to do anything. But until you face it you’ll never move on. It’s like all the things that scare us in life. You can try ignoring them but eventually they rear up and …’ Anna was blinking rapidly. ‘Forget I said that,’ said Sophie. ‘What do I know?’ She dropped the invitation in the bin and Anna watched it tumble as if in slow motion. ‘Tell me all about your New York plans instead.’

      Anna knew Sophie was right. How much longer could she go on being afraid of her past, ignoring the damage that still haunted her? She knew something had to change but for now Anna just needed to sit down.

      Anna gripped her passport tightly. ‘You need to hand it over now,’ said Hudson, his voice seeming far away.

      ‘What?’ Anna snapped back to the moment. She was standing at the check-in desk at Heathrow Airport. This was her last chance to back out. She’d