Principles And Pleasures. Margaret Allison
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mother. But when she turned back, Viera was frowning and Carly had her eyes closed.
“Go on,” her mother said. “And hurry back.”
Meredith walked out of the room. She tried to swallow the sadness welling in her throat. It had pained her to hear her mother sum up her life like that. But she knew Viera was not trying to be cruel. After all, it was the truth. Meredith had no social life. And it was looking as though she never would. Whereas Carly always had too many men to choose from, Meredith never had any.
But her mother was wrong to assume she liked her situation. She had not planned on being the girl never asked to dance. During college, she had tried to change. Tried to be more like Carly. And that was how she’d ended up with Josh.
Meredith blushed as she remembered how it had all come about. She had harbored a secret crush on Josh all through high school. Several years older than her, he was a gifted ski instructor. He dated socialites, girls like her sister, beautiful and charming. Meredith, in contrast, was tall and awkward, with brown hair, brown eyes and glasses. She was the type of girl that boys would choose as a study partner, not a dinner date.
Meredith had left Colorado for college on the East coast, hoping to forget about Josh. But her social life had not improved. Among her friends she was known as the “virgin.” All they ever talked about was men and sex. “It’s like plunging into freezing cold water,” one of them said. “It’s a little weird at first, but then you get used to it.”
“Just do it,” another advised her. “Don’t be so picky. Men are going to start thinking there’s something wrong with you.”
But Meredith wanted her first time to be perfect. She wanted her first lover to be kind and considerate. Skilled and confident.
Finally, as she’d entered her senior year of college, Meredith had become tired of waiting. If she was ever going to lose her virginity, she was going to have to take action herself. But there was only one man with whom she wanted to make love.
Josh.
She’d spent months planning a seduction. She’d tried to make herself into the kind of woman Josh might find attractive. She’d gotten contact lenses, lost weight, had a professional makeover. And she’d made a plan. Over Thanksgiving break she would hire Josh to take her to the top of Bear Mountain. A one-day trip, she knew there was a halfway house that was stocked with supplies for skiers stuck on the mountain. She would feign a sprained ankle, forcing them to stop at the cabin.
Everything had gone flawlessly.
Meredith had lost her virginity in a romantic, memorable night of passion. Although it had been everything Meredith had dreamed, she had not been happy.
In fact, the morning after, when she’d awakened wrapped in Josh’s strong arms, she’d been overcome with remorse. What had she done? She’d tried to turn herself into someone that she was not, only to bed a man who would never be hers. Angry with herself, she’d promised she would never again compromise herself for another man.
And so she had gone to the opposite extreme. She no longer bothered putting on flirtatious airs or worrying about makeup or hair. She was who she was. A corporate executive.
Meredith went through the back of the house, trying to avoid the crowd. She grabbed the big, thick, down coat that her sister said made her look like a stuffed Eskimo, put on her warm snow boots and stepped outside.
Meredith spent most of her time in Denver, where Cartwright Enterprises had their corporate offices. But nights like this made her miss Aspen. It was a beautiful evening. The air was cold and clean, the sky lit by thousands of sparkling stars. She glanced across the yard, toward the gazebo, which was lit by tiny white lights. She could see Josh standing, his hands in his pockets, waiting.
She swallowed. Make it quick, she told herself. Just tell him that Carly can’t make it and be on your way. You don’t have to make conversation. You don’t have to stay and talk…
“Meredith?” Josh smiled as he stepped closer. “This is a surprise.”
Meredith stopped outside the gazebo and said, “Carly couldn’t make it.”
“Oh?”
“She’s sick. Too much…” She paused. It was not Josh’s business why her sister was ill. “Food poisoning.”
“Oh,” he said. “I hope it wasn’t the crab dip. I helped myself to that, too.”
“No,” she said. She stood there, her feet rooted to the ground.
“So,” Josh said. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yep,” she replied. Yep? She had commandeered the takeover of corporations. So why was she acting like a naive little schoolgirl who didn’t know how to speak?
She thought she saw a twinkle in his eye. A smile crept up the corners of his lips as he said, “How are you, Princess?”
It was a voice that could melt butter. Normally, Meredith bristled whenever anyone referred to her in a chauvinistic manner. No one she knew would have ever dared call her “Princess.” But then again, no one called her “dear,” “sweetheart” or “baby,” either. Pet names were too informal for a woman like Meredith.
“Good,” Meredith said. She patted the front of her coat, a nervous habit. “How have you been?”
“Fine,” he said. “Great. And you?”
This was disastrous. Meredith had never developed the skills of making small talk. If it wasn’t related to business, she was as awkward as the girl she once was. “Wonderful, thank you.”
“You look great,” he said.
Once again she could feel the blush burn her cheeks. So she asked, “Why are you here?”
“Carly asked me to meet her here.”
“No. I mean, why are you back in town? I’d heard you were in Europe.”
Josh sat on the bench that ran around the inside of the gazebo. “And I heard you were the head of Cartwright Enterprises.”
Meredith looked into his deep gray eyes and was immediately transported down memory lane. He was once again the boy who had touched her so knowingly, once again the man to whom she had given her virginity. Their one night alone had made her think that sex was a magnificent, ground-shaking experience. How wrong she had been. The few kisses she had received since then had been awkward and wet.
“Yes,” she said.
She had heard from him several times after their night together, but had been too embarrassed to respond. She’d known the deal before she’d slept with him. Josh Adams was not a one-woman man.
“How are things going for you?” he asked in the same sexy voice.
“Good,” she said. “Great.” It was a lie and anyone but Josh would know it. Everyone had heard the story: Cartwright Enterprises, once one of the most influential conglomerates in the world, was fighting for survival. If it wasn’t for Durasnow, she would have been anticipating filing bankruptcy papers.
“Really,” he said, raising his eyebrows. She couldn’t tell if he was questioning her or if he was just making conversation.
“So,” she said. She entered the gazebo, moving a little closer. “Sounds like fun. Living in Europe and all.”
“I guess,” he said. “I still miss some of the people from around here.”
Like Carly? “Surely you’ve made other connections by now,” she said, touching her index finger to her pounding forehead. “Are you married?”
He laughed. “No.”
“Is that funny?”
He hesitated for a moment, looking at her. “Still the same Meredith,” he said. She doubted he meant it as a compliment.
She