A Cowboy For The Twins. Carolyne Aarsen
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with her own grief. “He came around the store today to get gas, if you can imagine.”
“Maybe it was the closest place,” Shauntelle suggested, trying to rise above her own reactions. Sometimes she was tired of how much they had ruled her life recently.
Her mother harrumphed. “He could have gone to the Petro Pumps. It’s just down the road.”
“Or he could’ve just been trying to give you some business.”
Her mother frowned at her. “And why are you defending him? Josiah was your brother. If it wasn’t for Noah, he’d be still alive.”
Shauntelle knew this was her cue to stoke the fires of her mother’s anger, and normally it wasn’t difficult to do. But today she was bone weary and simply didn’t have the energy.
“I know,” was all she said.
“Are you okay, honey?” her mother asked, her voice still thick with emotion. “Are you thinking of Josiah too?”
“I sometimes wonder what he would be doing right now.” She easily slipped into one of her mother’s favorite conversations—imagining a life for Josiah had he not died.
“Probably working for your father. Maybe taking over the gas station.”
Shauntelle doubted that. One of the reasons Josiah had originally talked about working with her on a restaurant was to avoid exactly that scenario.
“He’d probably be traveling,” she said. “Where do you think he would go?”
Her mother said nothing for a moment, then looked back at her, her eyes dull. “Doesn’t matter, does it? He’s gone. And Noah is here. I don’t know how I’m going to handle that.”
The sorrow in her voice was Shauntelle’s undoing, and she hurried over to her mother’s side and pulled her into her arms. “You can pray about it, Mother. You’ve always said you receive your strength from the Lord.”
Her mother sniffed, nodded, and then pulled back. “Yes. If it wasn’t for my faith, I don’t know how I would have gotten through this dark time.” She tugged a tissue out of the box close at hand and dabbed at her eyes. “But I just hope Noah is only here for a short while. I’m not ready to face him for too long.”
Shauntelle knew she wasn’t either. Seeing Noah had been a shock on so many levels. He’d always been the boogey man. The “evil” man. The man who could create a twist in her stomach at the sheer mention of his name.
But even before that, he’d been someone who intrigued her. Someone she, at one time, had spun futile dreams around.
She shook the emotions off. He wasn’t for her, and she didn’t have room for him. She was being utterly foolish giving him even one second of her thoughts.
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