His Baby Dilemma. Catherine Lanigan
Читать онлайн книгу.
seeing him and remembering what it was like to be in his arms... She hated herself for being the bad guy. There wasn’t a single thing she’d done since last October that merited his trust, love or respect.
She would have loved to run back to Aunt Louise’s and cry all night—all week. Instead, she stood her ground and steeled herself for what was to come.
“I don’t have a son,” he said and started to hand the baby back to her.
“Yes, you do. This is Jules.”
“Jules? What kind of name is that?”
“It’s French. His middle name is Michael. After you.”
Mica clenched his jaw as he looked down at the sleeping infant. “What’s his last name?”
Grace swallowed hard. Incredibly, she hadn’t thought about the name issue. “Railton.”
He plopped the sleeping Jules into her arms with enough force that Grace rocked back on her heels.
“So, if he’s my son, why didn’t you name him after me?” He drew in a long breath. “Don’t answer that. I’ll tell you why. I wasn’t there. I couldn’t sign papers. And I wasn’t there because you didn’t tell me you were pregnant. You didn’t answer my calls or emails. You vanished, Grace. Poof!” He jerked his chin back forcefully. His eyes were shooting barbs at her and she stood pinned to the spot, ready for the assault. She deserved it.
“I didn’t. I thought it best we never see each other again.”
“You decided,” he declared angrily.
“I did.”
“But here you are.”
“Yes. With Jules.” She looked fondly at the baby. “I need to talk to you about him...”
“You sure took your time, but I get that since you didn’t want to see me again. Have anything to do with me. A guy with one arm.”
Her stomach flipped. How could he think that? On the other hand, why not? She hadn’t given him a reason not to believe that. She hadn’t spoken to him at all. And now she was hurting him. Insulting him. And it couldn’t be helped. “Mica, I’m sorry, so very sorry, for not telling you about Jules. I was wrong and I deeply regret my decision. But it had nothing to do with your arm. I’m here because I can’t take care of him. You’re his father. I need you to take over. Just for a while.”
His words came out in a rush. “You want me to take care of a baby. That’s ridiculous. I only have one arm—”
“Which is in better shape than most men’s...even the ones with two working arms. Please—try to understand. I thought I could do this by myself, but I was wrong. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but we need to do what’s right for Jules. I have responsibilities...my team’s futures depend on me—”
“And Jules’s doesn’t?” he barked.
“Of course it does. That’s the point. I’m doing the best thing for him, bringing him to you. I’ve only got a small window of opportunity to make something extraordinary happen. I was nearly there a year ago when I came back here. How I pulled it out of the water after a month away, I’ll never know. But I did it. We didn’t get the notoriety I’d hoped for. My team members didn’t get internships at the big houses, but I did get noticed by Chanel. If I can pull this off this season, I’m in. And my future—Jules’s future—is secure. If I don’t make a huge splash, the houses will look for fresh blood. They’ll decide that I don’t have talent and they’ll move on. It’s now or never, Mica.”
He was silent.
“Mica, please. Please don’t hold my actions against our son. It’s not Jules’s fault that I hurt you—am hurting you.” As Grace finished she realized how high-pitched and desperate her voice had become.
Mica was unnervingly stoic. His face registered no response whatsoever, and she could only hope he was considering everything she was telling him. Maybe seeing her side of the situation.
“That’s why I have to leave Jules with you,” she continued. “I need to turn my full concentration on my work. The truly demanding days of his infancy are behind us. He’s sleeping nearly all the night. His colic is gone. He took the flight like a champ. I’m really proud of him.” She forced a smile at Mica, but when she looked down at Jules, her face softened. “I’ll miss you, little guy.”
“Then take him back to Paris.”
“What?” She met Mica’s steely blue gaze.
“I can’t take care of him,” he growled and leaned closer.
“It’s only two months, max. Till the end of the spring shows. You can do it.”
“Forget it. If you’d told me about him before he was born, then maybe I’d be better prepared to become a real father. I could have taken Lamaze classes with you. Gone to the hospital with you. Helped you when he had colic. But no. I was robbed of all that. I didn’t get the chance, Grace—because you kept him a secret.” He let out a bitter laugh. “Guess the joke’s on me, huh?”
“Joke?”
“Here’s the way I see it, Grace. First, you find out you’re pregnant but can’t stand the thought of telling me—the dad, the loser with no career and no prospects. Maybe that was your plan all along—use me, string me along so you could have a child all to yourself. Then this baby interferes with your precious career so you decide to pawn him off on me after all. Oh, I get your reasoning. What else do I have going on? I’m just slugging around backwater Indian Lake. Why wouldn’t I be available to take on a kid? Well, it’s not going to work, Grace.”
He whirled around and took off. Grace’s heart cracked. She’d made a mistake, yes, but she hadn’t used him. She’d given him a piece of her heart when she was fifteen and handed over the rest of it last October. Being with him had been bliss, and in those few, short weeks, she’d been happy. She couldn’t blame him for being upset with her, but this angry, judgmental, intractable Mica was not someone she wanted to know. His chastisement cut straight to her soul. She was left speechless.
He spun to face her again. “You must think I have a stupid streak a mile wide. I’m not falling for it, Grace. I’m not!” he shouted.
Grace’s mind went black as she faced the onslaught of his revulsion. Before she could gather her thoughts, the kitchen door opened and Gina walked out.
“What’s all the shouting I hear?” she demanded. Then she noticed Grace. Her smile was instantaneous. “Grace! How lovely to see...” Her gaze fixed on the bundle in Grace’s arms. “Grace?”
Sam Crenshaw stepped out behind Gina. “What’s going on?”
“Grace has come for a visit,” Mica growled. “But she’s just leaving. Aren’t you, Grace?”
Grace felt her heart land on the pavement. No amount of preparation could have helped her combat Mica’s anger.
True, Grace needed time to concentrate on her career, but she also loved her baby with all her heart. She thought she was doing the right thing. Jules needed to learn about his father and experience a father’s love, too. She couldn’t just up and move to Indian Lake, and until she and Mica could figure out some other arrangement, this was the best she’d been able to come up with.
In her daydreams, Grace had thought that once Mica saw how adorable Jules was, he’d love his son on the spot. That had happened to her. She’d expected Jules to bring out the other side of Mica—the one with the heart as big as the sky. This closed-off, defensive and antagonistic man appeared to want a war.
Well, she was here to fight for her future—and their son’s. Battle was easy. It was the heartache she hadn’t figured on.
Grace lifted her chin and walked over to Gina, still blinking back her tears. “Hi, Gina. I’m afraid I’m