Daddy Lessons. Carolyne Aarsen
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want to go to school,” Natasha said, turning to Dan, her voice breaking. Her cries tore at Dan’s heart. He couldn’t leave her like this. But neither could he take Natasha back to the apartment above the hardware store. His father was recuperating from an extreme case of bronchial pneumonia. His mother worked at his hardware store and couldn’t watch Natasha. Dan didn’t know anyone who could babysit during the day.
He cleared his throat, embarrassed that Hailey had to witness his lack of control over his daughter. “I’m sorry, Natasha, but it’s time for school.”
He tried to get his arms around her to lift her out of the truck, but she swung out at him. “I don’t want to go. Don’t make me go.” Her feet flailed in their heavy winter boots, hitting him in the arm. She wasn’t going willingly.
Now what should he do? Drag her into the building?
“Dan, can I talk to you?” Hailey asked, catching his arm.
He shot her a puzzled glance and Hailey immediately released him, rubbing her hand against her pants, as if wiping away his touch.
As they walked away from the truck, Natasha’s cries grew louder and more demanding.
“If I can get her into the classroom, I’m sure she’ll be okay,” Dan insisted. “She just needs to know who’s in charge. Her mother always let her do whatever she wanted.”
Hailey sighed and he got the impression she didn’t agree with him. Big surprise. Hailey had always been the kind of girl who went her own way, did her own thing.
And you’re judging her after all the things you did?
The old guilt rose up again, a feeling that nagged at him as much as his self-reproach over his brother’s death seven years ago.
“Natasha has had a lot to deal with in the last few weeks,” Hailey was saying. “Things have happened to her she had no control over and now she’s trying to find a way to take back some of that lost control. This is how she’ll do it.”
She sounded reasonable and, thankfully, practical. They were simply two adults discussing what to do about a little girl.
“But I need to get to work,” he said, glancing back at Natasha. “My mother needs me at the store now that Dad isn’t doing so well.”
“I know that and you should go.” Hailey put her hand on his arm again. He was sure her gesture was automatic, but even through the thickness of his jacket her touch still managed to hit him square in the gut.
This time he jerked away.
“How will that work?” he asked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
“The store isn’t that far from here.” Hailey folded her arms over her chest. “I suggest you leave the truck here and walk to the store. I’ll stay here with her until she’s ready to come inside.”
Dan frowned, glancing from Natasha back to Hailey. “Don’t you need to get to the classroom?”
“Right now, my priority is your daughter. She won’t sit in that truck all day and even if she does that’s okay. Tomorrow we might have to do it again, but eventually she’ll get tired of sitting outside. If we let her make the decision, hopefully she’ll feel as if she has some say in the matter. Once that happens, she can slowly move into a routine which will help her in the healing process.”
“It seems like a lot of trouble,” he said, glancing over at Natasha, who had quieted down and was watching them with interest. “What if it takes all day?”
“I’m not that busy in the classroom today. Two days of the week I only work half-time. Today is one of those days.”
“So what do you do the other half of those days?”
As soon as he spoke he felt like hitting himself on the forehead. That was none of his business.
He was also surprised to see a faint flush color Hailey’s cheeks. “I volunteer at the ski hill. Visit my Nana.”
Her comment reminded him of her reason for her temporary return to Hartley Creek. “I heard about her heart attack. I’m sorry. I knew you and your sisters are very close to her. How is she feeling?”
Hailey tipped her head down, fingering a gold necklace hanging around her neck. “She’s doing very well. Thanks for asking.”
The little hitch in her voice kindled concern for her and resurrected memories and emotions he thought he’d dealt with long ago.
He blinked, mentally pushing them away. Natasha and her care was his priority right now. Hailey didn’t even make the list. Besides, he had heard she was leaving town at the end of the school year.
He shifted his weight, trying to decide what to do, then glanced at his watch and his decision was made for him. Time was running out.
“Okay. I’ll leave you with her,” he said with a resigned sigh. “But if you need me, call me at the store.” He reached in his shirt pocket for his pen and the pad of paper he always carried around.
She held up her hand in a stop gesture. “I know the number.”
Of course she would remember. When they were dating, he worked at his father’s store after school and she would call him every day.
He shook off the memory as he glanced past her to his daughter, who still watched them with an intent gaze as if trying to figure out what they were talking about.
“Just so you know, she’s incredibly stubborn and strong-willed.” His heart shifted at the sight of her, so small, sitting in the truck, her feet straight out. “But she really needs a routine in her life and the sooner the better.” Then he turned back to Hailey. “You call me if she gets upset or needs me.”
“I will,” Hailey promised.
Still he hesitated. He’d had to walk away from Natasha so many times; he didn’t want to do it again. At least this time he would see her in a few hours instead of a few weeks.
“I should say goodbye to her before I go,” he said.
Natasha’s expression grew hopeful when he approached the truck. He bent over and gave her a quick kiss and a hug. “I’m going to the store, honey. You can stay here in the truck, like you wanted.”
Puzzlement creased her forehead as Dan straightened. She seemed unsure of this new twist in her plans.
He stepped away, fighting his own urge to give in to her. He zipped up his coat and walked toward Hailey. “You’ll let me know how things go?”
“I’ll make sure she’s okay.”
Dan gave her a tight nod, but before he left, their gazes met and held and it seemed as if the intervening years slipped away. Seven years of living away from Hartley Creek and a failed marriage drifted away like smoke with one look into those gray-blue eyes.
Then the past slid into the present and with it came reality.
He had Natasha, his greatest blessing and the only positive consequence of his marriage.
“Talk to you later,” was his gruff response as he steeled himself against old emotions.
At one time he had loved Hailey. At one time they’d made plans. Then Austin’s death had crashed into their lives and with it had come a flood of guilt. Dan had promised his parents, who didn’t like for their sons to go snow-boarding, that he would watch over Austin. He’d failed them when Austin died on a run he should never have started.
And then Hailey had broken up with him.
He straightened his shoulders. Hailey belonged to his past, not his present.
“Adam, come here,” Hailey called out to the little boy who was about to run out of the school with no coat, no hat and no scarf. The temperature hovered around minus ten with the wind. The kid’s ears would freeze