The Father of Her Son. Kathleen Pickering
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been assigned. He had no idea Kelly was in his church. Her knees almost buckled as she stepped closer. Inhaling a deep, fortifying breath, she pulled the curtain closed behind her, knelt and waited for her brother to open the small door to listen to her anonymously through the darkened screen.
She waited, her pulse pounding, until finally the door slid open.
“Good afternoon.”
She smiled at the sound of his gentle voice. She spoke quietly, imagining herself as a regular Brooklyn girl and hid her accent as best she could. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been several years since my last confession and I need your help.”
“Several years is a long time.”
“I know, Father, but I didn’t know how to handle my situation.” She worked to keep from falling into her lilt since her brother’s accent was so very predominant.
“How can I help you, lass?”
She hesitated. She’d never told anyone her secret. Now she was about to reveal it to her brother, a family member, the kiss of death—even if she was in disguise.
“You can feel free to speak. I will not judge you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I have a son out of wedlock. He just turned six and my family does not know he exists.”
Father Michael remained silent for a moment. “And this boy’s father?”
She shook her head, even though her brother could not see. “He does not know about the boy.”
“And why would you not tell him?”
The memory of that awful night flooded her. It was as if the dam of tears she held back for all these years poured from her at the sound of her brother’s concerned voice. “Because, Michael, the man raped me. I couldn’t get far enough away from him! I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was long gone.”
Oh, God, she used the hated R word and it cut into her heart like a razor blade. Blinded by her own tears, it was too late before she realized she’d returned to her native accent and her brother was charging from the confessional and reaching for her from behind the curtain.
“Kelly!”
He pulled her into his arms, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. She laid her head against his chest and sobbed, the cool fabric of his vestments soothing her hot skin. Each hiccupping breath released the pain and horror she’d tamped down for all those years in order to continue putting one foot in front of the other.
“What are you doing coming to confession like that? Why didn’t you call me?”
Kelly couldn’t stop crying, so Michael led her from the side door of the church to the garden behind the rectory. They sat together on a bench beneath an ancient oak tree. Becoming reduced to a weeping fool was not part of her original plan.
With her brother’s strong arm around her shoulder, those huge blue eyes watching her as if she’d crumble any moment, she sucked in the Sullivan courage and managed to smile at Michael through her tears.
“Well, I never thought that the first time I finally told my story I’d turn in to a blubbering schoolgirl.”
Michael tucked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. His handsome face framed with a mop of auburn hair was so familiar.
“So, I have the honor of being the first to hear that there is an addition to our family?”
She nodded. “Mum and Da are so closed minded. I couldn’t tell them and bring shame to my Matthew.”
He smiled. “So, he’s named for the apostle who began life as an outcast. You are deep, Kelly, my girl.”
“He’s a wonderful boy.”
He grabbed her hands. “Truly, you were raped?”
She sucked in a huge breath. “Yes, Michael, but please don’t ask me for details, because I won’t tell you. I had every intention of putting Matt up for adoption, but at the last moment, I couldn’t. He is my life.”
“Now, how shall we tell the family of your blessed news?”
She pulled away. “We won’t! Not yet, at least. I’m not ready.”
“That is wrong, Kelly.”
The anger that she had used all these years to shield her secret erupted. “Michael, I confessed this so-called sin to you, a priest, in God’s confessional. You are under oath to God and the Church to keep my secret.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why, you conniving little sister! Holding me to my vows is irreverent and untrustworthy.”
She frowned. “Perhaps, but it is Church doctrine, and I need the security of your silence.”
“And this is the greeting I get after not seeing you since you were nineteen.” He pulled her to her feet. “Did you become more mule-headed while growing into a beautiful woman?”
Just like her brother to add sugar to a dose of truth. “Michael, I would never have told anyone in our family about Matthew, especially now that I have become an American citizen, but you’ve come to my side of the world. Now that you are here, I see Matt cannot be kept secret from our family for much longer, but I must rely on your discretion. When I’m ready to tell our folks, I’ll need your help, but not until I am ready. I will not tolerate anyone treating my son unkindly.”
He exhaled a long breath. “I understand. Kelly, I can’t tell you how upset I am that you carried this burden alone for all these years. Why didn’t you call me?”
Again, Evan’s words rushed in... Do you have someone to confide in? She closed her eyes to dispel the image of him in her mind. “My situation was so complicated. I feared if I spoke one word the entire story would tumble out. No one can know who Matt’s father is.”
“Kelly, do you think I am daft? You came here as a nanny and now own a diner. I can already guess.”
A jolt of panic stole her breath. She swallowed hard. “Still. Don’t ask. I will not tell you, Michael. I have to protect my son. New York laws don’t protect rape victims from their assailant if they become pregnant and keep the child. If he were to file suit, I would have to give him joint custody—at best!”
Michael glanced toward the church. “I can leave Peter to hear confession. Let’s go inside to talk. I’ll make you some tea.”
“I can’t, Michael. I have to get back to work.”
“Well, then, are you free tonight?”
“No. Give me a few days and I’ll bring Matt to meet you. I want to tell him about you first. Okay?”
He hugged her again. “Kelly, I wish you would have trusted me sooner. I hate to think how difficult this ordeal must have been for you.”
“The Lord has provided for me, Michael. He sent me to Herby George who was my shining light during the dark hours. Now I have Neverland, a roof over my head and the love of a beautiful child. I am blessed.”
“Herbert George should be sainted.”
She smiled. “Aye.”
“And, your new citizenship? Another secret?”
“Not so much. My American friends know.”
“Oh, but we in Ireland don’t deserve such courtesy?”
“I’m sorry, Michael. I’ve become so used to keeping my own counsel.”
“To hide the child.”
“Yes.”
Michael watched her for a long, silent moment. She could see him struggling with the rising anger she knew all too well, against the man who raped her, but what Michael needed to understand was that even now, that man could be a danger.
“Michael,