Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage. Susanna Carr
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didn’t walk away—you pushed me away. You wouldn’t talk to me or look at me. You moved out of the bedroom and—”
Tina’s head snapped back. “Excuse me for grieving!” she hissed. She wasn’t going to allow Dev to treat her emotions as weakness. “We all can’t shake it off and return to our normal life the day after the loss of our son.”
“Don’t.” Dev took a step forward. “Hate me all you want, Tina, but don’t you dare suggest that I wasn’t grieving. I didn’t have the luxury of hiding away from the world.”
His words were like a punch to the chest. Tina flinched as she stared at him with wide eyes. “Luxury?” He made it sound as if she’d had a choice. As if she’d willingly surrendered to the grief that almost suffocated her.
Dev stared at her with a mesmerizing intensity. “You seem healthier than you did four months ago.” He looked deep into her eyes and gave a satisfied nod. “Stronger.”
He had no idea, Tina realized. She could stride into the house as if she were a queen and confront her enemy with the daring of a warrior, but it was all an act. Four months ago she had been broken, but Dev’s indifference had crushed her. She had tried to put the pieces back together but she didn’t think she would feel whole or strong again.
“I know how to take care of myself. I’ve done it most of my life,” Tina said. There had only been one time when she couldn’t. After the miscarriage, she had wanted to lean on Dev until she got stronger. Instead, he had taken advantage of her weakness. “But I’m not here about that.” She needed to get this over with so she could move on with her life.
“How do you feel now?”
Powerless. Heartbroken. Determined. “I’m ready for the next step of my life.”
Dev didn’t move but Tina sensed his stillness. His tension. It was as if he could predict what she was about to say.
Tina’s heart started to race. It fluttered wildly against her rib cage and it hurt when she took a deep breath. “I want a divorce.”
“No.”
She blinked at his immediate reply. Unlike her husky words, his refusal was clear and unemotional. “What do you mean, no?”
“We are not getting a divorce,” he announced as he took another step closer. There was a wintry cold glint in his eyes. “I will fight you every step of the way.”
Tina stared at him as her confusion rolled in like dark clouds. That was not the answer she had expected. She had imagined this moment many, many times and assumed Dev would agree with a brisk, almost impatient manner. It was obvious he didn’t want her anymore. Why continue this sham of a marriage?
“I’m offering something we both want,” she whispered.
“I want an explanation. I want to know what was going through your head during those days we were in America. How do you think it made me feel walking into that hotel room and finding that the only thing waiting for me was that note?”
Tina frowned at his tone. Her brief letter had offended him. Angered him. He was lucky she had given him that much. She could have poured out her broken heart, but instead she’d simply stated that she wanted to be left alone.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
“Around. Anywhere quiet where I could think. Where you couldn’t make decisions for me,” she said. “I needed time to decide what I want to do next.”
Dev tossed his hands up in the air as the frustration billowed from him. “You didn’t have to leave to do that.”
But she had. Dev had too much power. She didn’t know why he’d bothered making decisions for her. At times she wondered if he had forgotten her existence. “You took over my life.” Her voice trembled as she tried to keep her composure.
“I was taking care of you the best way I knew how,” he said through clenched teeth.
“No, you were getting back to your old life with as little inconvenience as possible,” she said. “I was no longer pregnant with your child and therefore, no longer necessary in your life.”
Dev reached out and grasped her arms with his large hands. “If that’s how I’d felt, I wouldn’t have married you.”
“You had to marry me. What would have happened to your brand if you hadn’t?” His family had meticulously created his brand image for years as the romantic hero. The value and power of his brand would have taken a big hit if he had abandoned his pregnant girlfriend. “So you married me to protect your career. The magazines did features about how you had settled into family life but they didn’t know how eager you were to return to your bachelor days.”
“That is not what happened.” His fingers dug into her arms. Tina sensed he wanted to shake her.
“Really? I know what I saw when I arrived here this evening. You were having the time of your life. Tell me, how many parties have you had in the past four months?”
“I wasn’t celebrating. It’s part of the business. You know that.”
She knew that Dev Arjun lived and breathed the mainstream Hindi film industry. It wasn’t work or drudgery. He enjoyed every moment of it. Dev was more comfortable on the soundstage than in his home. And from what the gossip magazines suggested, he preferred the company of starlets over his wife. “How many women have there been?”
“I’ve been faithful.” His eyes glittered. “Can you say the same?”
Her eyes widened with surprise. Dev thought she had found someone else? She had never considered it. She had spent the past months fighting for her life, struggling to get through the next day, the next moment. But Dev didn’t know that.
Did he think she was capable of gallivanting through the world, hopping from one bed to the next? The idea made her stomach curl. The only man she had ever wanted didn’t want her. The man she had fallen in love with had been in her imagination. A man who loved and adored her. A man who would lay down his life to protect his family.
That man no longer existed. She wasn’t sure if he ever had. Sometimes she wondered if she fell in love with the fantasy that the Bollywood movie machine created.
Loving that Dev had given her strength but it had also been her blind spot. She had lowered her guard and had tried to lean on him when she had fallen apart. Only he hadn’t been there when she’d needed him. He hadn’t been there for her during their entire marriage.
She thrust out her chin. “All I’m willing to say is that I want a divorce.”
His eyes narrowed as he noticed she didn’t answer his question. “And my answer is still and will always be no.”
“I’m going to get one,” she insisted as she wrenched herself away from his hold. “But first I’m going to get my things and move out.”
Tina turned on her heel and marched across the courtyard. She prayed he wouldn’t follow. She didn’t want to be alone with Dev in their bedroom. She would already be bombarded with too many intimate memories.
That was where Dev held the most power over her. One touch, one kiss and she was his. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to forget how wild she had been in their bed. He had always been in control as he guided her to a world of pleasure.
“Tina, wait,” he called out to her. “We can’t get a divorce...now.”
Tina stopped. There was something about his sudden compromise that put her on full alert. She slowly turned around. “What are you talking about?”
He didn’t meet her gaze. “I’m negotiating with a few investors. Our film company has taken a financial hit in the past few months.”
Few months? It was more like a year, Tina decided. She knew Dev’s parents had wanted him to marry Shreya Sen, the daughter of a beloved Bollywood family. Had that