Chase A Green Shadow. Anne Mather
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frowned. ‘You didn’t say anything to your father last night.’
‘No.’ Tamsyn moved her shoulders defensively. ‘Look, Joanna, I’ll be honest with you. I didn’t want to come here, but my mother wanted me to, so I came.’ She sighed. ‘Last night I was tired. It was quite an ordeal coming here—alone. I—well, needed time to think.’
‘And now you’ve thought,’ said Joanna.
‘Yes.’
‘You didn’t think that your father might be hurt by your not mentioning it sooner?’
Tamsyn moved her head. ‘Look—it’s difficult for me, too, Joanna.’
‘And from your expression last night it wasn’t just difficult, it was unacceptable, wasn’t it?’
Tamsyn scuffed her toe, her hands tucked into the belt of her jeans. ‘I guess so.’
‘Why? What’s so unacceptable about two married people loving one another enough to want children? Wasn’t that what your mother and father did when they had you?’
‘That was different!’ Tamsyn felt uncomfortable. ‘Well, no, I guess it wasn’t. But just give me time. I—I’ll get over it.’
‘And in the meantime your father has to worry about you, eh?’ Joanna turned back to the stove.
‘It’s not like that,’ exclaimed Tamsyn indignantly. ‘Good heavens, he surely didn’t expect me to behave as though everything was as it should be! I mean—I scarcely know him! Let alone feel at home with him!’
‘Whose fault is that?’
‘Why, no one’s, I guess.’
‘You blame your father for everything, don’t you?’ Joanna ladled scrambled eggs on to a plate.
‘No—that is—no, I don’t.’ But she did, and Joanna knew it. ‘Look—can’t we start again? I know it’s difficult for you, too. But if I’m to stay here, we can’t go on like this.’
‘I agree.’ Joanna came to the scrubbed wooden table that dominated the kitchen. She rested her hands on the table and looked into Tamsyn’s flushed young face. ‘All right, Tamsyn. We’ll begin again. I won’t make things difficult for you, if you don’t make things difficult for me.’
‘What do you mean?’ Tamsyn frowned.
Joanna shook her head. ‘You really don’t know your father very well, do you? Do you honestly think that your attitude last night didn’t upset him? Don’t you realise that he thinks the world of you? He always has. He hasn’t seen much of you, but maybe that’s why he’s built you up in his mind into something—something marvellous, terrific! His daughter! His Tamsyn! That side of him hasn’t been easy to live with, believe me! And now you’re here, and if you think things can go on as before so long as you remain indifferent to him, you’re mistaken. You’ll always come first in his thoughts, I’ve known that for years, and after you’d gone to bed last night he was like a bear with a sore head, worrying about your reactions. He knew the sight of me had shocked you, and I think if he could have changed things there and then he would have done. But when we went in for this child we didn’t know we were going to have you to stay!’
‘Oh, Joanna!’ Tamsyn felt terrible. ‘I—I didn’t know—I didn’t realise.’
‘How could you? So far as you were concerned your father was the villain of the piece. Well, he isn’t, and he never was. But that’s another story.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Tamsyn didn’t know what to say.
‘That’s all right. I just wanted to get things straight between us before your father gets back.’ Joanna straightened and turned back to the stove. ‘Do you like your bacon crisp or not?’
Tamsyn moved to the table, fingering a fork absently. ‘Do you think I could just have toast? I’m not very hungry, actually.’
Joanna clicked her tongue. ‘No, I don’t think you could just have toast,’ she retorted, but there was a faint suggestion of a smile touching the corners of her mouth. ‘And there’s no point in moping about what’s been said. You’re seventeen, Tamsyn, nearly eighteen, in fact. It’s time you grew up. As you said earlier, we’ve got to live together for the next few weeks, so we might as well make the best of it.’
Tamsyn nodded. ‘All right. I’m willing.’
‘Good. Then we understand one another.’ Joanna flexed her back muscles wearily. ‘I shall be glad when these few weeks are over, and I don’t mean because of you. I feel so big and clumsy, particularly now, in comparison to you.’
Tamsyn glanced down self-consciously. ‘Don’t be silly,’ she said. ‘You’re much smaller than I am. I feel quite tall beside you.’
Joanna smiled. ‘I always wanted to be tall and slim like you. You’re lucky. You’ve inherited your height and build from your father. Do you know his hair used to be that colour once?’
‘You must tell me about him,’ suggested Tamsyn quietly. ‘I—I’d like to hear about his life before he—he married my mother.’
‘Hywel told you I knew him then, of course.’
Tamsyn felt her nerves tingle at the mention of Hywel Benedict’s name. ‘Yes,’ she said, taking a seat at the scrubbed table and resting her chin on her hands, elbows supported on the wooden surface.
Joanna scooped bacon and eggs on to a plate and put it before her. It smelt marvellous and Tamsyn realised she was hungry after all. There was crusty bread to go with it, and yellow butter that melted on the toast that followed.
Joanna joined her at the table, but she had only some toast and Tamsyn commented upon it. ‘I need to lose some weight, actually,’ confided her stepmother with a sigh. ‘We may not have much to offer here, but at least the food is good and wholesome, and I’m afraid I can’t resist hot scones with butter and lots of suety puddings.’
Tamsyn laughed. She was beginning to realise that Joanna was not at all as she had expected her to be, and she blamed herself for presupposing things she really knew nothing about.
‘Hywel Benedict is your cousin, isn’t he?’ she asked Joanna now, unable to resist the question.
‘That’s right.’ Joanna poured more coffee into Tamsyn’s cup.
Tamsyn hesitated. ‘Does he live far from here?’
Joanna looked at her squarely. ‘Not far. Why?’
Tamsyn shrugged with what she hoped was non-chalance. ‘I was curious, that’s all.’
‘You didn’t mind Hywel meeting you, did you? I mean, Lance couldn’t leave the practice without anyone to cover for him, and I was in no fit state to drive nearly two hundred miles.’
‘No. No, of course not.’ Tamsyn shook her head. ‘I guess I did at first, but then …’ She pushed her empty plate aside. ‘That was delicious. Thank you.’
‘I like cooking,’ said Joanna simply. ‘And I like to watch people enjoy their food.’
Tamsyn glanced round. ‘What can I do to help you?’
‘Do you want to help?’
‘Yes. I don’t intend to spend my days loafing around. That’s not my scene.’ Tamsyn rose from her seat and carried her dirty plates across to the sink. ‘Shall I start with these?’
Joanna rested against the table, half turned towards her. ‘If you like.’
Tamsyn nodded and filled the bowl with hot soapy water. Outside the kitchen windows she could see a vegetable garden and beyond, a path leading down through wild rose and gorse bushes to a stream, the stream which she had heard earlier. There were some hens picking about behind the back door and several outbuildings