Last Resort. Hannah Alexander
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“I’m simply saying I don’t need more than one person overreacting to the crises in my life. I’m capable of taking care of them myself.” Okay, maybe she was overreacting. Yes, she and Nathan had renewed their friendship, and she valued that friendship highly, but she was answerable to no one but herself. These past few years of independence had given Noelle a sweet taste of freedom. She intended to guard that freedom with everything she had.
She glanced at Nathan’s profile, the even features, the high forehead, and resisted a pang of chagrin at the concern in his expression. “I’m telling you now, okay? And yes, I’ve lost some sleep over it. I just don’t think anyone else should have to worry.” Especially since she had landed herself in this mess to begin with. She didn’t intend to drag friends and family into the ugly aftermath of her past mistakes.
“Has he tried to contact you?”
She hesitated. “Let’s just say he’s made sure I know he’s back.”
“Please don’t tell me he knows where you’re living now.”
“He could easily find out if he wanted to, but he’s been coming into the store the past couple of weeks.”
Nathan’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “He’s been coming in? As in, more than once?”
“Twice when I was working, but he always purchased things, so it isn’t as if he’s harassing me.”
“Has he said anything to you?”
“He barely looked at me.” Okay, so it wasn’t completely objectionable to have Nathan concerned about her welfare.
“Do you think he’s up to something?”
“I can’t tell. Six years ago I was able to read him and know when to expect an outburst, but he’s been gone a long time. Now we’re strangers, and I don’t know what to expect.”
They rode in silence for a moment. During the divorce proceedings, which had been drawn out for eighteen excruciating months, Noelle had received several threats from Joel, along with a broken windshield. There had also been numerous anonymous telephone calls to her place of employment, where she’d worked as a nurse for a pediatric group, calls that ultimately had resulted in the loss of her job when the harassment had become too intense—Missouri’s status as a “right to fire” state hadn’t helped. Three of the five physicians in the group had requested her termination, with no reason needed.
Because of her past work record, she’d found it impossible to find another nursing position, which was her own fault. Testing positive for methamphetamines had cast an indelible smudge on her reputation, though she hadn’t touched drugs again. She only wished she’d never taken those pills the first time, had never fallen for Joel’s promise that they would “keep her alert.”
The situation with Joel had become so frightening that she’d requested a restraining order. She hadn’t received one, because she couldn’t prove her estranged husband was the culprit. During the final six months before the divorce hearing, she’d gone home to Hideaway and stayed with Jill. And her concerned older sister had stepped back into her “mommy” role, to the point of insisting that Noelle eat three healthy meals a day and attend church twice a week. It was then that Noelle had begun to seek God’s direction in earnest, for the first time in many years.
“You don’t think Joel’s sudden reappearance could have anything to do with Carissa’s disappearance, do you?” Nathan asked.
Noelle looked at him, startled. “Like what?”
“Would kidnapping be out of the question?”
“Kidnapping!”
“At this point I don’t know, but having met Joel a few times, and knowing what he’s done to you in the past, I wouldn’t dismiss the possibility. From all accounts, he’s a vindictive scoundrel who should be rotting behind bars.”
She blinked at him, startled by his adamancy. “But Carissa? After six years? I don’t think that’s likely.” And yet, what if…?
She glanced at Nathan’s profile again. Nathan Trask had a kind nature, which was obvious in his expression, in the laugh lines around his eyes. He was also an attractive man, with a high, broad forehead, dark-green eyes, dark-brown hair that he kept short and combed back. Right now, his usual five o’clock shadow had nearly become a beard, and his facial lines were ones of weariness. He had good reason to be cranky.
“Maybe I should be driving,” she said.
“I’m okay. The coffee helped.”
Sitting back, she tried to relax, and again thought about last night. She shivered.
“Cold?” Nathan reached toward the console for the heat dial.
“I’m…fine.” She folded her arms over her chest and tried to let the passing roadside beauty calm her—the bright yellow splashes of goldenrod against the deep red of autumn sumac, highlighted by sprays of purple asters.
It was no use. Her mind wouldn’t stop whirling with questions.
“Noelle?” Nathan said at last.
“Hmm?”
“What else is going on with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s something else you’re not telling me.”
She gave him a look of aggravation. Nathan Trask had always possessed an irritating ability to read her mind. “Why would you say—”
“Just tell me, okay? I’m not in the mood to dig it out of you.”
“Okay, fine.” He really was a grump today. And she shouldn’t be saying this. It would only invite more questions and cause more worry. Could she trust him not to share too much with Jill? “It’s nothing, really. I had a little episode last night, probably from low blood sugar, since I haven’t been eating a lot, and didn’t—”
“What kind of episode?”
She had his complete attention now. “Watch the road, would you?”
“I’m watching the road. Tell me what happened.”
Rats. She knew he’d get upset. For a few more seconds she stared out at the colorful roadside. Like Jill, Nathan had the “older sibling” complex. He tended to be bossy, and from the time the first of his two younger sisters was born, he had also tried to boss Noelle even though she was his age, and a neighbor rather than a sibling. She’d established her boundaries with him when she was about five. She didn’t intend to have to do so again.
Still, it wasn’t totally disagreeable to have Nathan so concerned about her.
“Okay,” he conceded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. What happened? How did you feel?”
“I felt very concerned for no reason,” she said, then glanced at him to make sure he was watching the road again. “You know how it is when something occurs to you, that seems so real, as though God has spoken?”
He glanced at her again. “That’s a lot more than just nerves or blood sugar.”
“Joel’s arrival is definitely a stressor,” she said.
There was a pause, then Nathan asked, “What time, exactly, did it happen?”
She frowned at him.
He met her gaze briefly, then looked away. “This may have everything to do with Carissa.”
She thought so, too, but why would he?
He took a deep breath and exhaled, then combed his fingers through his hair. The morning sun shining in through the window showed the lines around his eyes and the evidence of his lack of sleep and his worry. “What time did you have the attack? You said it was last night—was